Real Vs. Fake?

What do you think I'm going to talk about in todays Mr. Rodgers discussion? Boobs? Whole schools of thought on that. Me? I don't really care. Real, fake, whatever.

What I'm talking about is..........Christmas trees.

Many might shudder at the thought of a fake one. I know many years ago I did too. At the mention of a "Fake" tree visions of white trees with mauve and colonial blue balls might come to mind.

This is probably because as a child I was never subjected to a fake tree. It was unheard of. I remember going to look for Christmas trees with my Dad. It was a huge deal. Which tree? Did the branches fall right? Did it have any open spaces that would be distracting? How tall was it? Did it smell good? All those things were considerations. Then we would pick one out and strap it on the top of our station wagon and bring it home to decorate it. I remember my Mom measuring out water with sugar in it and pouring it into the tree stand with a measuring cup. I was delighted by every decoration that came out of the box that they had carefully been placed back in the year before. Every gingerbread house and gingerbread man and the pretty balls and the balls with birds and the birds that sat on the branches. Each one was ingrained in my memory, year after year.

So it's probably odd that I have a fake one. I tried a real one, a couple times. I'm going to tell you, to me, it was a big huge pain. The needles falling off, it inevitably tipped quite a few times and the water spilled out and stained the rug. I never seemed to get it out of the house at the right time. All the neighbors trees would be picked up on "tree taking day." Ours sat there for weeks. Until, finally at some point someone would drag it from the curb and throw it in the woods behind our house. Dead trees. Makes me cringe.

Here enters my Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I love this tree. I bought it like 7 years ago. It lives in my basement. Every Black Friday I drag it in three separate pieces up the stairs. I put it together like a puzzle. I string the lights. It never tips over. I only let ornaments that are Santa Claus go on it. I love it. This year the kids wanted to decorate it. They loved the ornaments. They talked about ones they remembered. Chase broke a ball while having a catch with it. They had fun. They did say, after the last candy cane had been put on, "Mom, some year can we get a real tree?" Insert me smiling and nodding while thinking, "No."

I'm pretty sure when they are adults they will have the biggest real Christmas trees they can buy. Someone will mention fake trees and THEY will roll there eyes and say, "No way!"

Maybe a little real one, we'll see......

Mysteries......

This is the same old story, but it's what I've got today. This is the thing. You're a kid. You watch your Mom do all the stuff around the house and you don't really think about it that much. Even when she says, "Clean your room," or something like that. I don't believe there is much thought that goes into it. It's an eye roll and tossing a couple pieces of clothing in the laundry basket (for her to wash, dry and fold) maybe you take those water cups down to the kitchen, you certainly don't put them in the dishwasher. That would be crazy. Just set 'em on the counter, she'll get 'em. You know, your Bitch.

When your kids are little instead of those silly "Makin' Music" classes and Gymboree, I think a little, "Clean Up After Yourself" class would be a gold mine. You know, you could rent one of those big rooms and instead of putting things to climb on you could put folded laundry and drawers, or dishes and a dishwasher or trash and a trash can. You could point out that the trash actually goes in the trash can. Not on the table. This is a concept that is hard for my sweet adorable almost ten year old son. He unwraps a piece of gum and tosses the wrapper down, pretty much wherever. I can't tell you how this annoys me. You know, we don't have enough to do but pick up everyone else's junk.

I am listing the things I don't understand. Yes I was a kid and a slob, but that's over now. I'm the Mom, and, I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

1. Why do you throw your shoes directly in front of the door we are walking in? Is it because A) You like to hear me complain about it? B) You want to see someone trip? or C) You're lazy? D) All of the above
2. What is it with leaving socks on the counter? I don't get that at all. It makes no sense to me and frankly bugs the shit out of me.
3. You have a hamper, is it so hard to actually put the clothes in it? Why near it? Why not in it? It would take less than a second more. For real. Do it!
4. If you can't put away the clothes you have why are you asking me to buy more?
5. How many times total should I be prepared to ask you to put on your shoes before school? And if it is (like I have learned) more than five, would a recording work?
6. Do you believe those dirty dishes are going to carry themselves downstairs and while we're on the subject, do you remember me saying, "No eating in your room?"
7. Who do you love more, Me or Daddy?
8. It's me right?
9. Fine, I know it's him.
10. I love you more than anyone, Both of you. Even though your slobs.

Don't Postpone Joy

So I'm driving home from the Monday morning errands and there's a lot of traffic. I had to cut through a mall from my bank to get home. At the first stop sign I am behind a gold car and it has this bumper sticker that says, "Don't Postpone Joy." It totally made me smile. I've never seen that bumper sticker before. About bumper stickers, I wouldn't put them on my car but I do love reading them. All of them. Even those goofy ones like, "My kids an honor student at blah blah blah," or "My kid beat up your honor student," I like the anti-things I don't like ones. It makes me feel like the stranger in the car in front of me and I could be friends if we knew each other. I love the big PEACE ones. I like little Grateful Dead dancing bears and ones that tell me, "If I'm reading this, I'm driving to close." I'm going to tell you something, when I see those ones that have things I don't agree with I actually roll my eyes and think the people must be silly. Really, when I write it, it sounds ridiculous, I have a ton of friends with different views and I don't think they're silly at all, but those bumper sticker people, I'm sorry, I do. Just for a second. Then I remember they're just people who think differently. Chocolate and vanilla. Makes the world go 'round. :)

There are a number of ways to get home from the mall for me to take. I always take a back road. The gold car with the "Don't Postpone Joy," bumper sticker went right at the stop sign when I went straight. I drove through 2 more lights, up a huge hill, a stop sign and when I got to the next stop sign guess who I was behind again? "Don't Postpone Joy." They went straight. I took a left. I cut by my old house down to a light, went left and at a big intersection I was behind "Don't Postpone Joy" again! Three times in a matter of ten minutes and we didn't go the same way once.

This tells me two things. Number one, it doesn't really matter which way you take home from the mall, they all get there at the same time, and two, "DON'T POSTPONE JOY!"