A Bedtime Story For Jen-Part One

Many years ago, before kids, before my two stupid dogs when I had two smart ones, Marc and I lived in a another house. Not far from where we live now. We were young but strangely not a whole lot different than we are today. Marc worked a lot I spent my time making things to sell and playing with my friends. This was way before I ever knew Rachel or Lisa or Christina. This was in the days of Jen and Ashley and Suzy. All who live far away now and I miss them everyday. This particular little ditty is about Jen. Ah Jen, my lurker friend. My sorority sister from college, my fellow white russian drinker. I have some kooky schemes now but back then I was slightly even wackier, if you could believe this. They weren't quite as elaborate as some of todays hair brained ideas, but stupid non the less. Jen was with me through most of them.......
Jen was there when I decided to paint the outside of my house by myself. Seriously, she sat there smoking a cigarette watching tv as I came up with the idea, she sat there smoking a cigarette watching tv when I drove to buy the paint and she sat there smoking a cigarette and watching tv when I put the first ill fated swipe of paint outside my doorway. Then she left. This project bored her. I never did finish that painting, much to Marc's annoyance because after a couple hours it bored me too. I always have loved doing things half assed. It's one of my special gifts. Jen also was the other part of my funniest American Home Video team that I have mentioned before, I made her fall "accidentally" on the pool that was covered in grime. Then I mistakenly taped another show over it. Whoops. Jen and I wrote letters to anyone we could think of. We wrote to a potato chip company one time because we found an odd shaped chip in our bag and we were disgruntled. In it we included a picture of the strange object with Jen's long red fingernail pointing at it. We wrote to Cosmopolitan magazine with a list of Ten Why Don't You's, that we thought was so funny and so inappropriate we are quite sure they must have banned us from ever darkening their doorstep should we try. Remember those lists? Do they still have them in there? Like, why don't you draw a bath for your boyfriend when he comes home from work? Why don't you eat less and lose ten pounds before summer? Those lists annoyed us so we made up our own. Why don't you walk down the street with your skirt stuck in the back of your underwear? Why don't you intentionally hide your husbands wallet and then watch him lose his mind before work? Why don't you replace all carbohydrates in your diet with candy corn for a week? The list goes on and on.
The whole point of this post is that Jen moved to Virginia years ago to teach children. I miss her terribly. We have a weekend coming up with a bunch of our sorority sisters and we were chatting on facebook last night about it and I mentioned something that happened in that time period and she asked me to blog it...............
The Lion, the Cable Guy and the Speakeasy.....stay tuned.