Monday, December 14, 2009

Maybe You Can Help...

I realize that I can be slightly odd. I have quirks. I tend not to notice them until they are brought to my attention. I had a friend raise a few questions about my life. I am wondering if you guys could help...

A List Of Mysteries...

1. What IS Mickey?
2. Why doesn't Amy know anything about Philadelphia?
3. Does the oven work?
4. Who really fought at the Battle of Chester Creek?
5. Why wasn't Lisa at lunch today?
6. How many nativity sets are there in West Chester?
7. How does Lucy always get into the food and garbage?
8. Seriously, what is Mickey?
9. How did I get out of moving the big chair from Meredith's house?
10. Does Saige love her new pony?
11. What is Jason thinking when he has to hold Sue's hair back?
12. Why does Amy have to rub Chipolte in my face by making me drive by it all the time?
13. Who's ashes are in those urns and I am next?
14. Does Nancy believe Amy really "forgot" to make the salad?
15. Why are there so many toothbrushes?
16. What would happen if I knocked over the Christmas tree at Oriental Pearl?
17. What does mangry mean?
18. If the pilgrims fought the indians at the Battle of Chester Creek then who was in the bloody Battle of Ridley Creek?
19. How ever will Amy get to Rachel's to get her hair done?
20. Why does she think my messenger bag is a murse and would it hurt very much to be hit with it?
21. Why do so many people discriminate against the Beige race?
22. How has Amy never lost a mirror backing into the garage?
23. Why bother having water bowls for the dogs when the toilet bowls seem to be working just fine?
24. Speaking of dogs (allegedly) what the hell IS Mickey?
25. If all Christmas trees were pink, would Amy want a green one?


Billy Yorn said...

This is brilliant. Your friend is amazing!

I love this picture more than hummus, sushi, wine, and backgammon combined.

Meredith said...

Rest easy, my dear, the oven DOES work! (Not that you'll ever actually use it).

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if Hannah can come up and ride on Saige's pony. Also, do you think Santa's gonna buy her another one? That way they won't have to take turns. That's the "smart thing" to do. I love the new look on the Mickster. I love it so much, that when I saw it, I shit my pants.
Ugh, literally, Hannah memorized my sister's #. It's 9, that's like 5 a.m. in the Orlando house. Word to the wise, DO NOT give Hannah your #. You'll be sorry. Boundaries don't exist! I wonder which parent she inherited that from.
Who is in the urn? Are there two urns? Hmmmm.
Of course Amy "forgot" to make the salad.
Now, she's calling Gmom. Once again. Do not say your # out loud in Hannah's presence.
I love that pic of Mickey. I'm going to make you laugh.
Love your quirks and oddness, and I love Buddha too!

The Mystery Machine said...

Scooby and his friends have answers for you:

1. A controlling furball.
2. (she doesn't care)
3. This is a stupid question because an oven is not necessary when Nancy's works perfectly fine.
4. Pilgrims and Indians!!
5. She was probably busy creating P/L Statements, registering domains, negotiating leases, strategic planning, and raising funds (while we had lunch).
6. Not enough. The hari krishnas keep knocking them over with rotten vegetables.
7. The rubber band defense system could be improved.
8. He is controlled by a joystick from outer space.
9. Hopefully it was my charm and not my laziness.
10. She can't wait to see the new barn.
11. Is he still gonna get a little sumthin sumthin or is he gonna have to wait.
12. She has a wicked sense of humor.
13. This should say "am I" instead of "I am", right?
14. This should be discussed further over a home cooked meal. By Nancy.
15. This is the only one we can't figure out.
16. Amy would laugh her ass off.
17. It means Amy loves getting slaughtered in backgammon.
18. Breaking news - the flinstones and jetsons. I did not know this.
19. This is being addressed right now. It involves the amish.
20. This should be tested for sure.
21. It's not fair. Beige people have feelings too. Even if they get hurt easily when they lose in Boggle and backgammon.
22. Miracles do happen.
23. Because the rope and pulley system for Mickey was too complicated.
24. Okay, some things, like the meaning of life, are too difficult to explain in blog comments.
25. Yes. And then she would spray paint it pink.

Lisa Samuel said...

Cute picture! I don't even know how to comment on this odd, strange post except that I don't know why I wasn't at lunch either??? What did I eat that day?

Anonymous said...

your oven does work.... let me help with that...