Thursday, January 29, 2009

Don't Tell Me You Can't

Another post from the Oprah list, I could go out to dinner on this for a months. :)

*what you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. you become what you believe.

This is like one of those quotes I look at and think to myself, "Well, of course." I think you need to believe in yourself for anything you do. You can wish all day long that you can run a marathon or stand on your hands and drop your feet to your head. You could wish it and dream it from now until next Summer, until you can believe you can do it, you don't have a chance in the world. Right? I tighten up (you know this Asude) every time someone says in a yoga class, "I can't do that." It literally makes me cringe. "Please don't say can't in my class." I say in the most demure of tones. ;) "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but if it's something you WANT to do, if you believe you can, you will." I think when you can see yourself doing it, you'll figure out a way to get there.

So what do you believe in? Do you believe you're going to wake up tomorrow and it's going to be a great day? Or do your thoughts lean more towards, "The economy sucks, it's winter in the North, I have to go to the dentist and I think I should change my name to Eeyore." Cause, that's kind of a bummer. Try to go with the first one. Cause that second one is just setting you up for failure, just like, "I can't." I think Can't means doom, failure and unhappiness. Unless of course you were to say, "I can't believe how lucky I am!" The silver lining of "Can't."

So I will admit, I wish on stars, lucky numbers, I've played the lottery, gambled and crossed my fingers for when my kids teacher assignments come in August. At the same time, I believe that no matter what I will have a wonderful life. I believe that even if a cloud covers those stars another one will show up. I believe that if my lucky numbers don't get picked it's because someone who needed it more than me won, I know that if the gambling doesn't pay off this time, it's always a good story (right Jen?- think going for your first mortgage and your bank statement having 20 withdrawls of twenty dollars each from Ceasers Palace in Atlantic City every 5 minutes from 2 am on.- YES!) and when those teachers assignment comes it better be who they want or I'm calling the school! That's how I roll. Not really, but don't even get me started on Chase's 2nd grade teacher. Stop! Reel in. Point.

Dreams and wishes are lovely things. We all need them. Except for those bad ones where you realize you have to take a final in a class you never showed up to before. That one's kind of beat. But nice dreams, birthday wishes are sweet and a form of positive energy. Put it out there and then know it to be true.
Believe in Yourself. If you don't, no one else will.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ducks and Dogs

So I was thinking and I had an idea. In my last post I mentioned a list that came out of the Oprah magazine. I really loved that list. I thought it might be fun to take them apart one by one. It's just, I'm kinda tired. All that's going on it yoga and running and recruiting. I've pretty much beaten those dead horses(just a saying). Well, except for the recruiting one, which leads me to my point.
*When people show you who they are, believe them the first time*

The other day I was on the phone and a seemingly nice girl was telling me why she would be great for a job in Pharmaceutical Sales. I just take down the information. That's my only job. The thing is, why don't some people know when they have said enough? There is NO reason to tell me that 15 years ago you sold medical staples and practiced on dogs. I mean, seriously, stop it. I don't want to hear that. It does not pertain to this job. It is something I would take to my grave if I were you.

Okay, so that hasn't shown me "who you are." I just thought I needed to mention that. As a little word to the wise, should anyone be interviewing for a new job. Stay on point. Don't ramble. Highlight the GOOD things. Try to avoid talking about when you were unkind and maiming animals.

Anyway, so reel it back in (you know that's for you Christy). What was I talking about? Oh yes, the Oprah saying, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." I have really learned this well this past year. I have a habit of loving everyone. I trust everyone. Even when they seem to have some more Machiavellian tendencies (thanks Wep), if their good ones make me laugh and seem nice I can kind of brush those not so good qualities under the table. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm 39. My very dear friend Christina told me when she turned 40 she stopped trying to be such a people pleaser. I get it now. I really do. It's time to be a little more choosy. Not to let people get away with so much. What's that saying? "If it looks like a duck, and it sounds like a duck, it must be a duck." I'm keeping my eyes out for ducks now, I got bitten by one when I was a kid. I should have been more careful after that.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Gotta Love The Truth...Sometimes

I got some really nice e mails today. I did. I got a really funny message from amy of the funny names, where she thought it was private what she wrote to me on facebook but it wasn't and that was funny. I got this awesome list from Christina, which I think I might post at the end here cause I love it, it's from Oprah. I got some awesome music suggestions from Wep and she sent me a song. I got a horoscope reading from an amazing woman I know. I got a really funny fairytale from Sue. It was a nice e mail day. It really was. So then I'm sitting here at my computer, innocently reading through some work I did today and my little blackberry starts blinking to alert me of an email. I look and it's a facebook message.

So when you get a message, through Facebook no less, you might think it's going to be nice. You see G.C. sent you a message through Facebook come up on your e mail. Oh good I think to myself. I haven't heard from him in a while. He's always so funny. Little stories about his cute kids with their light sabers and tales of coaching hockey. This time there is no long e mail of what he and his family are doing. There are no yoga questions, nope, this is what it says, "Change your blog layout now... I chunked in my mouth with the new offense... g" Huh, none taken. Really, I appreciate it. I have said before how I suck at this. I know nothing of computers except how to download music, put my pictures on there and generally play. I don't know how to make words on this blog different size or colors. I'm sure it's simple. I need a class. Hey Sarah, you gonna teach that? Answer me.

So, I'm going to change it, cause I don't want greg to be sick. Poor little angel.

Christina's NICE e mail- The person who sent it said they had originally ripped it out of a Oprah magazine so I do not know who the original author is, maybe Oprah? Whoever it is, I love it.

what you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.
*you define your own life. don’t let other people write your script.
*whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. only you give it power.
*when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
*worrying is wasted time. use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.
*what you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. you become what you believe.
*if the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough.
*the happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.
*failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.
*if you make the choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.
*trust your instincts. intuition doesn’t lie.
*love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.
*let passion drive your profession.
*find a way to get paid for doing what you love. then every paycheck is a bonus.
*love doesn’t hurt. it feels really good.
*every day brings a chance to start over.
*being a mother is the hardest job on earth. women everywhere must declare it so.
*doubt means don’t. don’t move. don’t answer. don’t rush forward.
*when you don’t know what to do, get still. the answer will come.
*“trouble don’t last” (negro spiritual)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Look Back (at Tuesday)

Guest post by Jen: Thanks Jenny!

We decided to start looking for celebs on Monday afternoon, so we walked down to M Street in Georgetown. surprisingly enough, we were not the only ones with this novel idea! The streets were virtually clogged with celeb-spotters and the like. But to no avail. I did, however, pick up THE cutest pair of trousers at Anthropologie! Black with very muted stripes of dark blue, boot cut, with a sassy, attached wide-width ribbon belt. I can just picture me walking jauntily down the halls of the White House in them, helping Michelle choose the perfect window treatments...anyway...where was I...

Oh, right. So, walking back up M St., right in front of the Four Seasons where, I might add, people (not me! I swear!) were hiding in the shrubbery, we witness an SUV Limo totally take out this young gal riding a bike. I mean, she was stuck underneath his front end! (And NOT in a good way....) Anyway, as we gasp in disbelief, she un-wedges herself and tries to climb back on her bike. the driver does NOTHING. Just sits in his (heated) car, with what I could swear was a grin on his face. While I'm watching the progress of the bike rider extracting herself from the grill, I wasn't watching where I was walking, and ran SMACK into Tom Brokaw's chest. He's tall. And smells good. Very good sport about my social gaffe.

We stood outside Blair House later that night with everyone else, hoping that the Obamas would wave at us before tucking Malia and Sasha in for the night. Nope. My cousin Molly is preggo, so she has to go to the bathroom at the most inconvenient of times. Well this was one of those times. So we cross a few streets to get to the Cosi. We get in line behind some lady who has got to be the MOST NEUroTIC mother in the world. There was one bathroom in actual working order. Mom talks to her son, who looks to be about six, and tells him to not DO anything, she will do everything for him. We are not quite sure what this entails, until we enter the bathroom after her, and the area looks like a mummy crime scene. Toilet paper EVERYwhere. I wish I had taken a photo of it. Mom had evidentally used a whole roll of t-paper to line not only the seat, but every inch of the floor and walls. I wish I were kidding you. Needless to say, this toilet was now (surprise) clogged and rendered useless.

On our walk home, we witness YET another limo bring a bike rider down.

Tuesday morning we get up and take our time getting ready to walk down to the Mall, since we harbored no grand ideas about being invited up on the dais. We just wanted to get reasonably close to one of the jumbo-trons. At the risk of amping up the cheese factor, there was sUCH an incredible feeling of unity, happiness and excitement as we walked down Pennsylvania Ave. We got a good spot near the Washington Monument and settled in. The audio system rocked; we could hear everything. Of course, we could NOt stop ourselves from people watching, and let me tell you, there was MORE than enough to keep us busy. Obama's speech was so inspiring. I'm sure you heard it.

Walking back, riding the crest of the wave in the sea of humanity, it was organized mayhem. Somehow we got back to 22nd Street, where I decided to take the Foggy Bottom Metro home. There were police and National Guardspeople everywhere. They were limiting the number of people who could take the escalator down to the metro, so as not to have a huge pile up on the platform underground. However, once the train came, it was anyone's ball game. the first one was stuffed with people, and with my germ phobia on HIGH alert, decided to skip that one and wait for a lesser-crowded one. Got on the next one, pretty jam-packed, but still do-able. However, as the train made stops, and more and more people packed in, I am getting swept away and smooshed. At one point, and older couple next to me starts yelling at the jerks getting on at Arlington Cemetary, "Can't you see this young lady is getting CRUSHED???!!" I am yelping..all the sound I could muster. As I come up for breath, I croak, "Get off! Get off the train! They are running all day people! Just get off!!!" But my cries went unheeded, as I was screaming them mostly into the down-coat-covered hip of the older gentleman I was now lying on. Somehow I made it off alive. With all body parts attached.

I wouldn't have traded ANY of it for the world. What an experience.

Friday, January 23, 2009

It's All Fun and Games...

Until someone gets a stalker. Uh huh. Beware my fine feathered friends, the internet is a frightening place. It seems so safe and warm typing away on your lap top. Listening to your Itunes. Generally minding your own business but sharing your thoughts for those who want to read them. Right? It's pretty simple. Yes, you are putting yourself out there. Duh. But hopefully, your'e thinking in way of "Do unto others," right? You don't need to be of a certain faith to hold onto that concept. It's universal. When you put good energy out there. You kind of think, that's what you're getting back. And then, a stalker. Rut ro.

Now come on kids, no one wants to play with the stalker. I'm not one to call names but it's not fun. The internet is such a haven for these vermin to lurk. It's so easy when you're one of the "bad guys," to hide behind anonymous. It makes me feel sad for them. I do. Even though the anonymous I spoke of called names and generally acted like a angry child. I feel pity. I feel sadness. I want anonymous to have a fulfilling life. I want them to find their happiness without trying to knock others out. I want them to have enough going on with their own self to not have to invade someone else's life.

I also want world peace.
A really good eye cream.
A hot cup of coffee made for me in the morning.
To run a marathon.
Fresh juicy blackberries all year round.
For the Mac counter to always have my lipstick in stock.
Five Golden rings.
Four calling birds.
I'm sorry, I got lost there.
What I really want is some spicy tuna rolls and a big glass of wine.
Sue, call Nectar. Make a reservation. Or should I???

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why's Anon So Angry?

What to do? What to do? I have a post about the inauguration by my bff Jenny who was in Washington for the blessed day. I am going to put it up tomorrow for a nice weekend read. I just had one little thing to say. I'm perplexed (I think that's a smart word Asude, do you?). So here's the dealio, my very beautiful, incredibly intelligent friend Asude (Sue) writes a blog. Her blog is very different than my blog. She's uber smart and writes about all sorts of current events and politics and things like that. I go on in the morning like it's one of those word a day calenders to pick up something new. Now, granted Sue leans (like myself) to the left, to the left (everything she owns in a box to the left) but she is fair. She is smart. She reads everything. She watches political shows, she is informed. Besides the fact, it is her blog. She can write whatever she wants. If she wants to title the whole thing, "W Was A Big Dumb Ass and Steered Us Wrong," she could. It's hers.

So here in lies the point. She has a very angry commenter. His name is Anonymous. Isn't that the weirdest name? What were his parents thinking? They must have known he was going to get teased with a name like that. I mean, he could be anyone, Bob, Joe, Bill, Harry, Met, Sally because it's just a name on the comment. He still goes with his God given name, Anonymous. I say this, with great love in my heart, Anonymous is kind of a hater. Everything Asude writes just goes straight up his ass. He can't stand it. He likes to leave mean comments where he calls names. He loves W. He's not feeling Obama. He gets so angry with Asude for her writing. He called all of us readers "poor souls that hang on her every ignorant word." Seriously, it makes me laugh and giggle so hard, I almost love him. Here is a little excerpt from one of his very thought out comments, "Come, come, really I'll repeat myself slllloooowwww sue..take in every word maybe you'll get it this time!! I'm laughing right now. I do love you Anonymous! I'm not quite sure why you spent over 2 hours on her blog in the last week. But it's cool. Every single person is entitled to their opinion. The thing is, perhaps a little more love and little less war and you might find your heart could grow three sizes in one day! Just like the Grinch's did. Anything is possible. Obama's steering the ship now. :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Real Top Ten Greatest Winter Things

Okay, I didn't write this. Anonymous did. They thought up a whole list of things that never crossed my mind to be happy about in winter. I had to slap myself on the forehead and say, "Stupid, stupid, stupid," because honestly, how could I have missed those? They are so obvious they almost bit me on the butt.
Anonymous Top Ten WInter Delights
1. Bumper skitchin'.
2. Bangin' deer. (Can I come over?)
3. Freezer full of venison.
4. Ice fishin' when the fish're so hungry they'll get after a rubberband on a safety pin.
5. Peein' Buster's name in the snow.
6. Bangin' bear.
7. Usin' the Johnny-in-the-corner instead of makin' the trek to the outhouse.
8. Rabbit-lined underwear.
9. Gettin' the little turd nextdoor to stick his tongue to the mailbox.
10. Jackoffing - that's a little Jackie D in the mornin' coffee October-March...makes the rest of the day seem much warmer ;).

Because my friends are twisted. I think I should pour myself a glass of boxed wine and toast you! Or perhaps, better yet, do a handstand in your honor. Wink wink.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Baby It's Cold Outside

I was feeling a little annoyed with winter. I'm not sure why because this year the cold doesn't really bother me. It used to make me feel like jumping out of my skin. The biggest problem I have this year is I have that thing (I don't know if you call it a disorder, a disease, a problem...) but it's where my fingers turn completely white when they are to cold. So white it's scary. I start to get this prickly feeling and then they start to turn numb. The only thing that makes them better is to run them under really hot water. Little red spots start to come into them while blood comes back in. Isn't this fun? Do you wish I would go on about it? Maybe next I could tell you something else very unpleasant. I won't though. I decided I needed to think of some things about winter that I like. That way when I'm rubbing my little white fingers together I can stir up some pleasant thoughts.
1. Hmmm... let's think. What do I like? I like my winter coat. A lot. It's totally cool.
2. I like my Uggs.
3. I like that Lucy (my big German Shepherd) can stay outside and I don't have to worry she is going to get heat stroke. Of course she might freeze to death, but I'm trying to find positive. Work with me.
4. I like the movies that are coming out this winter
5. Man, this is harder than it looks.
6. I like the look of snow when it's coming down.
7. I like a 2 hour delay on a day my kids need to sleep in
8. I like knowing that Spring is coming. Does that count?
9. Two to go and I cheated on number 5. I like the deer family that lives behind my fence. I haven't seen them in the summer so I'm counting them. There's a Mom and two babies and they are so cute.
10. I like curling up and reading a book on a really cold day.

Man, I think I'm a Summer person. But Winter's not to bad. It's going to be my mantra until March. If I think it enough times will it be true? Is that like that tree falling in the forest question?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy Birthday Lale!

Today is the day. One of my oldest friends in the world (in length of time I have known her, not age) had her first baby. I have been friends with her for 36 years. I grew up in her house. I got in trouble by her parents. I have more memories than I could begin to count with her.
She lives in Istanbul and I have taken my own daughter to see her and spent weeks and weeks on holiday with her. She is such a huge part of Saige's life. Like a second Mom, but a super cool one that lives in Turkey and does work for Oscar de la Rente. It makes me beyond happy and to I feel so lucky to have her in my life. Now, today, she has her very own little baby daughter. It almost feels like part mine, in a tiny, miniscule way. I will make sure I have some part in this very blessed little girls life, just like she does with Saige. I will always be there when she thinks her Mom's being to much. I will remind her Mom of when we were kids, the things we did. I just can't wait.
So Happy Birthday Lale! We are so excited you are here!

Friday, January 16, 2009

25 Things

Cause my truth post was to much and because I am waiting to make a phone call I'm just hanging out here at the computer wasting a couple minutes.
Christy facebooked this to me. I like this game. There is a time when you couldn't have paid me to write this on my blog. That ship has pretty much sailed now. Plus, I like you all to do it too, even if just for yourself. I am counting on at least one brother to play along. Tell me something too.
25 Things About Me
1. I was on a death flight once
2. I was scared to fly for years and had to take Valium
3. I'm not scared anymore
4. I would rather live by the ocean than anywhere, I still can't figure out why I haven't
5. I like running like I like breathing
6. I can eat the same thing everyday for months on end
7. I sing out of tune but I don't care
8. I don't hold grudges or onto anger
9. I am self confident
10. I love the people in my life unconditionally
11. I am somewhat competitive
12. I believe in past lives
13. I do not believe in hell, but totally in karma
14. I have little interest in organized religion but consider myself very spiritual
15. I have the highest hopes for our country
16. I always wanted a sister but I wouldn't trade my brothers for 10 of them
17. I take vitamins religiously
18. I am a total creature of habit in my habits
19. The smallest thing can make me bizarrely happy
20. My best friend since I was three is having her first baby soon and I am so excited
21. I cannot stand to hear sad things about animals
22. I used to hate cold weather, now it doesn't really bother me
23. I wish on stars
24. I believe you need to say sorry if you have hopes of forgiveness
25. I believe life is a self fulfilling prophecy. So I try to be the most positive person I can be.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Harder Than I Thought

Well, my little idea was kinda hard. So much so that I haven't gotten a chance to do it yet. And I knew some of you weren't going to listen, I had three people say to me yesterday, "Amy, I didn't know any of the songs on your list." That was not my celebrity play list. Pay attention! :)
Narrowing down a lifetimes worth of music into a playlist is almost impossible. It's kind of like you have to pick a theme, songs I grew up with, male artists, female artists, current year, songs with favorite lines in it, before the year 2000, the possibilities are endless. I could do a list of remakes. So, I need a little more time. Until then I think I will post the three people (that's three, the rest of you are lazy, you know who you are too!) who humored me and posted a list. I have to put Amy's first because she labeled herself, "Amy, who has no limits." Her monikers just about make my day every day.
Amy who knows no limits said...

Ok, YOU didn't leave "whys" by your picks... (they were not my picks favorite "other Amy") I'm not sure I can pull this one out of thin air, but I'll try.

1. No Quarter- Led Zepplin... me. my husband. beer. hot sex.
2. Sunshine Daydream- Grateful Dead... me. acid. Dead Lot 1994. good times.
3. Anything by The Cramps... stealing gas on a cross country road trip. sleeping in abandoned buildings, LA
4. Anna's Song- Simon and Garfunkel... upstate NY, Joe, wishing I was home.
5. Greyhound Bus- Sara Evans... makes me think of how much I've changed since having kids.
6. Woman's Work- Kate Bush... Highschool
7. Such Great Heights- The Postal Service... just love it.
8. 99 Problems-JayZ... cause I'm hard like that.
9. Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana... gives me butterflies and makes me feel uneasy like I felt all through highschool.
10. Waiting Room- fugazi... the freaking jam.
11. Music-311.. the whole album. Mushrooms, Andrew, 61 mustang, Fudpuckers.

Oh man, I could do this all damn day Amy!

This is what I'm talking about. All damn day long. :)

Kathy (another one of my favorite commenters)

The first 5 that came to my mind. I'm sure there are others but these give me warmth, smiles, laughter, tears and comfort.

5.One Love - Bob Marley (Puts me in a happy place - especially in the winter)

4. Lola - the Kinks
(Reminds me of a time, a place and a person)

3. Build Me Up, Buttercup - The Foundations
(Great times at The Den with the DGs)

2. Blessed - Elton John
(A parent's prayer)

1. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
(Raw and pure faith, hope, and light in times of total darkness)

And Lula, my music partner in crime
I have a playlist titled, "In My Life," and it has about 30 of my most favorite songs in the history of the world. But I won't list all 30+ songs here. Just a few...since you asked.

Lula's Celebrity Playlist

1. Bye-Bye Blackbird--Joe Cocker.
My all-time favorite song in the history of the world. The desperation in his voice just slays me.

2. Martha My Dear--The Beatles.
It just makes me happy...every single time.

3. Songbird--Fleetwood Mac.
It's a hauntingly beautiful lullaby. Proof that there is such a thing as the perfect song.

4. Comfort You--Van Morrison.
I lie prostrate at his feet and offer thanks to God for Van's existence. It's hard to pick a favorite from his roster of greatness, but I do believe this is mine.

5. Kashmir--Led Zeppelin.
One of the best-produced songs's a masterpiece. I could (and often do!) listen to Zeppelin, non-stop, for days at a time.

6. Baby Workout--Jackie Wilson.
I cannot not dance when I hear this. Jackie Wilson was the heart & soul of Motown. This song is a party set to music.

7. Song for the Asking--Simon & Garfunkel.
Lyrical geniuses. If I were on a deserted island, I'd happily survive if I had their's poetry.

8. Consume Me--dc Talk.
My heart's cry.

9. Oh, Atlanta--Alison Krauss & Union Station.
Her voice transcends description. Plus this song makes me long for home. I love my Georgia!

10. May Fly--Terry Reid.
The voice of my generation--the early 70's. I rank him right next to Nick Drake, Van Morrison, and Jeff Buckley as my favorite male artists. Everything he's recorded is amazing.

11. River Deep, Mountain High--Tina Turner.
The greatest example of Phil Spector's famed "Wall of Sound" style of production. There's not a single thing I don't love about this glorious song.

12. Sowing the Seeds of Love--Tears for Fears.
Another tune I love because of production value. It sounds as if it should've been on The Beatles Sgt. Pepper's, if Sgt. Pepper came out in the late-80's, that is.

13. Ghost--Indigo Girls.
A story told through poetry that just happens to be in the form of music and lyrics. Every single word is perfection.

So get thinking. I'm talking to you. You!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I've Got the Best Idea

I can't tell you how many times I have started a sentence like that. It is what made us take our kids and travel across the country for a month. It is what prompted us to go sky diving. It's why I have a garage full of ski equipment (no snow yet). Honestly, people should be scared when they hear me utter those words.

Not this time though. This idea won't make you test your fears or hunt down a long time dog sitter. It's just a simple little game. I'm even going give you a day to think about it. You know Itunes? You know how they have those celebrity playlists? I love those. It's where celebrity's pick like 8-15 songs that would go on their all time favorite playlist. Now the older celebrities always have a lot of Rolling Stones, Eric Claypton, Lynrd Skynrd. The younger ones have all sorts of rap and Beyonce. I love when they have a musician and they put their own song on there. The "cooler" celebrities will have somewhat obscure songs on there cause they know the band. And almost everyone has a Bob Dylan song on there. I think you must make some sort of 'blacklist" if you don't put Bob on there. I love Bob Dylan as much as the next guy but can I just tell you, I saw him in concert when I was in college in a pretty small venue and you could not understand a word he was singing, not a word. Maybe it was an off day.

So basically, lets do that. Pick say, your top 5 favorite songs. You can do more. I just want someone to play with me. You have to tell why you picked it. Check out a couple of the celebrity lists if you want to. Just to give you an idea. Come on, it's not like you're busy or something. ;) If you want to e mail it to me I will put it in tomorrows post or you can just leave it in the comment section. Come on anonymous, play.

Until then I will leave you with a short playlist cause I'm in a hurry. T-minus 6 minutes and counting before I have to wake everyone up. This is NOT my celebrity playlist. It's just for your listening pleasure...

Here She Comes- Low Millions
Looking at the World From the Bottom of A Well- Mike Doughty
Paper Planes- M.I.A.
Love and Memories-O.A.R.
What About Everything- Carbon Leaf
Welcome Back-Mase
Risque- Cute is What We AIm For
I Believe in Love-Storys
Heart Shaped Locket- The Gin Blossoms
I'm Not There- Sonic Youth
The Only One- The Cure
Cath-Death Cab for Cutie
Back to You- West Coast

Monday, January 12, 2009

"I'm Sure it's Twins"

Here we go again.
Pregnant friend and her stream of consciousness. It just delights me.

"Why do you think it's twins?" I ask.
"The pendulum said so." she answered.
Ah of course, if the pendulum said so... it's true.

And here it goes, remember, read quickly, no breaths. This is how it went down. I actually took notes, just so I could share it with you guys. Don't say I never did anything for you.

"So I went over to Courtney's house cause she called me and told me her pendulum had been acting crazy. At first it said only one and was hanging straight down. And then it starting moving. So I asked it questions, are you a girl? Yes it said. But it sounded like more than one so I asked it, are you two girls? Yes. It answered. Then the pendulum started swinging all over the place and Sherri's did too. So my Mom said, go on the internet and research the statistics. I did. And you know my dad was a twin and I'm older. And they talk to me. The twins. They are so funny. I ask them what they like. They are sick of oatmeal cause I ate it three days in a row. They're funny. I asked what they want their names to be. One said, Lola. I said, are you Lola. She said yes. I was like who the hell is Lola? I'm not allowed to name her that though because Suzy and my Mom think it's a strippers name. Damn! the pool is closed until further notice. I really wanted to swim in that bacteria ridden pool. I'm going to have a meltdown."

"No, no meltdown," I say calmly, "tell me about the twenty year old boyfriend."

"Oh Nick? He's fine I guess. I really don't care. I mean I know he's the father of my children but men have served their purpose for me. I feel like I could run out in the wilderness or a cave and live with women. Not that I'm a lesbian or anything. I don't think I am at least, it's just I don't really need men anymore. And now they're coming out of the woodwork. My Hispanic mechanic wants to marry me and be the father of my baby. And the African American guy who works at the club, he wants to marry me too. All the ethnic ones are all over me. And the non ethnic ones. Old boyfriends, friends, Brian, Devin, Jared, there's a whole species out there that wants a pregnant woman." Insert me starting to laugh here. To bad all those single Mom's with deadbeat dads didn't find one of her ethnic/non ethnic father bears. I love her. I'm allowed to write this. I was given permission. "I just don't want any men in my life at all. It's just going to be me and my girls. My Mom always said, I hope you have twin girls, as payback for what a pain in the ass you were."

Well, I guess only time will tell... she's just six weeks now.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Use Your Heads People

Not you guys. I'm sure you are all on your best behavior in a movie theater. This little post is somewhat ranty for you to share with friends of friends who might not know the rules.

Sue and I went to see Slumdog Millionaire tonight. This post is not about the movie, the only thing I will say is go see it. It was awesome. A little hard to watch at moments but probably the best movie I've seen in a while, well not counting Twilight. I'm kidding! That sucked. Slumdog rocked. At the end of the movie people clapped. Finger to nose.

Here's my problem. What the hell is wrong with people? I mean seriously. I think these are basic things that everyone should know but I'm going to go over them just in case a stranger who was in the theater with me should happen upon my blog and needs a few tips...
1. When you are in a movie theater on a Saturday night that is basically packed to capacity the seat next to you isn't for your friggin' coat, When you see people staring hopelessly at the seats looking for a couple together and you make eye contact with them, move your coat. If it's to big have your hubby put it in the car. Or, better yet, think ahead of time, bring a smaller jacket. Show me how smart you are. That is of course unless you paid for a seat for your coat, in which case, I'm going to need to see the ticket stub please.
2. A movie theater is not a coffee house. It's not for chatting. If you can't keep your mouth shut while watching a movie, you should watch at home. It's rude to have whole conversations in a theater. Nobody but your chatting buddy cares what you think. And when a stranger whispers, "Shut up," do it. Also if you do talk through the entire thing, don't leave before your seat mates can give you dirty looks. At least have the consideration to do that.
3. Shower
4. When someone has to get up for what ever reason just move. Don't make it hard on them. Do you think they want to leave a good movie? Pull your legs in and keep the muttering to a minimum. Or sit in the middle where no one has to get by you. You sit on the end seat my friend, you've sealed your fate.
5. I hate to say this but I have to. If it's an adult movie, we kind of don't want to hear your baby screaming. No offense, I'm sure your baby's lovely. You have every right to see a movie. That's what babysitters are for. Is that bitchy? Who cares. My blog.

i hope these tips were helpful to your friends of friends. I have great faith in all of you, well, except you. You know who you are.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Do You Believe in Rock And Roll?

Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
That is my favorite line from a song of all time.

Another night...more music stuff. It's just a conversation that doesn't end, and unless you wanna hear about my sick skills as a Wii ski jumper this is what's going on in my head right now.

So, some different takes on childhood music. When I said, "childhood," for myself I was speaking of the music you remember being played in your house as a child. That (in my advanced age, thanks for reminding me Christy :) ) the music that my parents played was Carly Simon, Simon and Garfunkle, Gordon Lightfood, and some Helen Reddy. This is early childhood when I didn't get to choose. It was just played. Thank God my parents had good taste in music. I think perhaps that could shape who you become. Like a name. Sometimes you just become the name you are given. At least that's what I think.

So that brings me to the somewhat scary question of how am I shaping my children's childhood. They are subjected to music constantly. I'm not saying I have the best taste either. I like what I like. When they were very young the listened to a lot of The Grateful Dead, Eric Claypton, The Cowboy Junkies, Cat Stevens and many more. There was no Barney singing in my car. They knew the words to Better Than Ezra's, "Extraordinary" and Barenaked Ladies "If I Had A Million Dollars," before they knew the theme to Sesame Street. This is because I was a selfish new Mom that took my kids to the gym and made them go to the playroom instead of letting them stay home and watch tv. Poor little angels. I remember so vividly driving through the town we live in and them singing, "If I Had A Million Dollars, I'd be rich!" and they would say, "Are we rich Mom?" and every time I would answer with, "We have people who love us, so yes, we are rich."

Lovely little memories, move along a couple years to when we're rocking out to Kid Rock, Shaggy and A Tribe Called Quest. Now my kids have their own IPods and their own taste in music but they will sing along all day long to my music. They know the words to , "Lowlife," and "B.A.M.A." that starts with, "You know who run this cell baby," it doesn't occur to me all that often that this might not be a good thing. Perhaps they should be listening to that Raffi guy, I don't know. I'm not really about censoring. Some music you just need to run to, right Simple Answer? I do try not to playNickelbacks, "Rockstar" that much with them in the car, although I love that song, but because that has the one line that I don't want them to hear. It says, "We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat." I would rather them not hear that than most any offensive Kid Rock lyric there is. I guess that's my button to push. So what's my point tonight? I don't know. What kind of house did you grow up in? Musical? Did you love music because of it? Do you have the same taste as your parent(s)? One interesting thing I do know is that two of my brothers, Chris and Mark are as into music as I am. We all went from the little clock radios in our bedroom ( I used to make mixed tapes by taping off the radio, my kids would not even believe that now) to making mixed tapes from our records, to having huge cd collections to still to this day constantly on the search for new music... I think that has something to do with my parents. So I guess only time will tell.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Again With the Music...

It is my addiction. I can't seem to stop. Playing Itunes is one of my absolute favorite time sucks on the computer. Although honestly I don't really consider it a time suck because I will use that music forever. Forever and a day. Good music lasts a lifetime.

Yesterday Lisa and I were discussing her son's Bar Mitzvah. She was saying she needed him to write out a song list for the DJ, she was going to be very specific though that were to be no "oldies." All current. I mean the party boy is 13. He doesn't want to hear, "She's a Brick How-ouse." I don't actually want to hear that either. A couple months ago we were at this party at a brand new bar and the DJ played that and "Holiday," and a host of the other over played twelve songs you hear at every DJ related function. I get so annoyed, especially when they play it twice. What about Beyonce? Justin? kanye? Now to be fair, I know some like this, of course, but this is my blog so I get to say. Right Jen? Hey what about Jen using the term maelstrom in her last comment? That was fun! She's wicked smart, or she just really goes the extra mile to make me chuckle. Check.

Okay, reign it back in. My point? Ah yes, so I was playing Itunes and answering an Email from my very dear wonderful friend of 35+years, Elizabeth. I started thinking about the music of my childhood because a lot of it revolved around her. We used to sit in her basement with the built in carpeted maroon couches and listen to music for days on end. "I'm Comin' Out" was a big favorite. Or we would sit in the tree in my backyard and belt out, "You're So Vain... I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?" Okay, so here's the real point. And let me tell you I could write a book about the songs I remember from growing up. I won't but I will mention two very prominent ones that played in my house because I just can't help myself. I remember Gordon Lightfoot singing, "Sundown," and Helen Reddy belting out "I Am Woman." Okay, so this was the thing. I started searching for something and Genius (you all know about that right?- Mac rules) led me to Carly Simon. I started to think about this song that I remember Elizabeth and I playing all the time at her house. I'm pretty sure it was called "Such A Good Boy," I'm also pretty sure it was by Carly Simon. I have searched for this before. I can never find it. I did however come across Carly's "Jesse," Jesse, I won't cut fresh flowers for you. I won't make the wine cold for you. Jesse, I won't change the sheets for you. I won't put on cologne. I won't sit by the phone for you." I cannot get this song out of my head now. I sure hope that doesn't happen to you. :)

Hey I found that song. I don't know why I didn't find it the first time. Smarter in '09!
What songs remind you of childhood?

Also, what about those songs that come on the radio at the exact right time? I think that is a post all it's own.

This could be called, "You're so drunk." Not you of course. Or me. Alper. Yes Alper. :)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I Pushed On the Pencil SO Hard...

This story goes out to my Daddy. Cause I love him. It's an oldie but a goodie. I actually don't enjoy it all that much but my brother Chris loves to reference it. My really old friends know it. It is family folk lore. I think I should put it on here so my kids can know it too. They love a Mom/Dad kid story.

So when I was a kid I had a desk and a chair in my bedroom from the unfinished furniture store. The chair had those spindle things that were in holes in the seat of the chair. One sunny afternoon I was in my room playing on my bar. My bar was one of those chin up bars that was in the doorway. I used it to hang upside down from and do tricks on. Anyway, for some reason that I can not for the life of me remember my brother Chris was in my room sitting at my desk. I think he was doing his homework. As a side note, Mark and Chris were the "smart ones," Scott was the oldest and I was the best looking. I'm kidding. I'm just saying that so Mark will comment. Anyway, good old Chris is banging away at some Algebra. I don't know what I was doing and for some reason my Dad came in my room. My Dad noticed that for some reason the spindles of that chair weren't in the seat of it anymore. The rest went something like this...

"Amy, what happened to your chair?" my Dad asked.
"What?" I said (like I hadn't heard).
"I said, What happened to your chair?" he asked again, this time not quite as friendly.
"Oh, my chair? You want to know what happened to it?"
"YES!" he said.
"Oh, okay," I say, "I didn't hear you. Well, you see, Laura and I were playing on my bar and she swung off and went flying and hit the chair and the back came off of it."
"Amy, that did not happen! I want you to tell me the truth!" he demanded.
"Oh, the truth? Ok, see I didn't understand that part. Okay, well then the truth is, I was sitting at my desk doing my homework (like kiss ass over there ;) ) and I pushed on my pencil sooo hard that when I let go I flew back and the back of the chair came off."

Now he's pissed.
My brother is just shaking his head.

"Damn't Amy, I want the truth."
"Oh, the truth? Okay, now I'll tell you the truth..."

The truth is I have no idea anymore how that chair broke but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a pencil...
Right Jenny? You believe me, right?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

Little boys. Little boy are like puppies cause they turn into big boys. Get it, like puppies turn into dogs? Wait, is this Asude or Amy, I can't tell. Our blogs sound so similar. :)

So my precious angel who can do know wrong, otherwise known as Chay Chay is kind of mean sometimes. He doesn't mean to be, I don't just comes out.

This is Chase: On an airplane at the age of 3. Stewardess walks by with the cart. He snags a soda off. She is not pleased. She gives him a look. The next time she comes by he looks up at her and says, "You look very beautiful with all your sparkly make- up on." She says, "Well compliments will get you everywhere." Then she brings him all the snacks from first class.

Chase at 4- Our friend is playing "Airplane" with him and the Saige and her friend. Our friend, Trish is 6 ft tall, blond and built, as they say, like a brick shit house. She's beautiful. Chase loves her. She tells me when they're done, (and she's embarrassed, although it was him) that when she was giving Saige an airplane ride he leaned down and kissed her inner thigh.

Chase at 5- It's morning. I have the stomach flu. Saige is in school. Marc is at work. Chase is home with me cause he went to afternoon kindergarten. I am lying in bed sooo sick. He comes up with the "breakfast in bed" tray. On it he has put a Gingerale and a piece of toast with some turkey on it. I say, "Oh Baby, I'm going to come down and make you breakfast." He says very sternly, "No. I am taking care of you today. Daddy says while he is gone I am the man of the house."

My baby is a lover. I could tell a million stories like that. I have to to remind myself that his "moments" now is a phase. Right? Like when he asks me something and I don't give him the answer he wants and he slams the door on me. He does apologize, but still it crushes me. People warned me of this age. I never believed them. Chase is known as "false advertising," cause he's such an easy kid. So the looks, the attitude, the door slamming makes me sad.

I think I just need to remember, it will pass, like all hard things do and he loves me. Yes he does.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Pendulums, Feathers and Twins...Oh My!

Like in a foot race (much like Gabe Kaplan and Robert Conrad in the Battle of The Network Stars-JJ, for you, even though you don't read) I am passing the baton. The baton of crazy that is. I have been given the complete go ahead to write this. I'm even allowed to use the words, crazy, insane and straight up whack.

So I have this friend see, she lives in another state, she is divorced and has many animals. I need to preface this by saying, I love her unconditionally. Her quirks make me laugh, so, I laugh a lot. She is one of those people that has no filter at all. Anything that remotely enters her mind automatically shoots out her mouth. Lots of times you have absolutely no idea wtf she's talking about. It doesn't matter either. She'll just keep on going.

A couple weeks ago she called me and told me she was coming home. She moved like 14 years ago. I have missed her a lot. She got married, divorced, now alimony has run out and it's time to come home. Or so we thought.
A couple days ago I was hanging with Asude and chatting and got a txt on my phone. "Call me ASAP when you are sitting down." I wasn't sitting down and you can never tell what is coming so I thought, "I'll wait until I get to my car." Shortly there after I was walking into Trader Joes (that's right) and I got another txt and it said, "I'm pregnant."

Now, I gotta be honest. A big huge grin passed across my face. For so many reasons. One, it's just insane. Two, she's always wanted a baby, this might not be ideal but she's not getting any younger. Three, it has nothing to do with me. It's her crazy. I couldn't love that anymore.

Here are the facts- 20 year old boyfriend, no real job, no health insurance, unclear where to live, family lives far far away, but happy as a clam. Couldn't be any happier. I'm thinkin' she was doing a jig, cause, well, she's crazy. Some of you know that. Finger to nose.

So, to put a closing (for now) on the insanity. We were chatting today and she tells me, "Even though my kids (Kids?-Plural?) won't have everything material, they will have love."

" Ok. That's cool. Why'd you say kid(s)? Are you having twins I don't know about?" I ask, confused.

This next part must be read really quickly without a breath so you will know how it sounded.

"Well," she informs, "the pendulum wouldn't stop. I know for sure I'm having a girl, maybe two girls, but also because it wouldn't stop there could be a boy in there too, And when I was on the phone today , and the feathers were pointing NSEW and that means maybe a boy, but definitely a girl, maybe two and when I was on the phone today my friends little 5 year old say Auntie... is having a boy and a girl. And my gorgeous earth mother friend who I am her spirit guide told me that the pendulum never lies so I think I might be having twins. And did you know that Courtneys husband ex girlfriend who was married to a BMX rider. but he died, and she's so gorgeous cause she's part Cherokee, but she sent Courtney's husband pictures of herself in the bath. Do you think that's appropriate Amy? Courtney tried to block the pictures. Then we asked the feathers and the feathers said one of each. I think the Indian has two kids. I'll probably have two kids. Oh, and my boyfriend is 20 an 1/2, he's handling it better than someone our age. So I told the realtor to forget putting my house up. I'm getting two new roomates, no, not the babies, strangers."


Other phone rings.
"Hey," I say, "Let me call you right back."

Friday, January 2, 2009

Smarter in '09

So Happy New Year! It's the 2nd. I'm not sure of the day of the week. It's so confusing. I think we're heading into the weekend. In fact I'm sure of it. Maybe I really am getting smarter...
These are things I'm going to remember for the new year. In no particular order...
1.It is much easier to figure out what to make from dinner at Trader Joes. I don't know why this is, but it is. Plus you feel like you are making good choices, just because you're in Trader Joes. I like saying Trader Joes. Not as much as Jen likes saying, Hollis Teeters, which is the name of her grocery store in Virginia. She likes to say, "We're going down to the Teet." I'm not sure why she likes that, but she does. Speaking of which, and I won't mention any names but another very good friend of mine told me today that her 6 year old daughter said to her this morning, "Mom, did I used to drink from your teet?" I swear to God. My friend had a disgusted look on her face even telling the story. Just cause of the word. It's still making me laugh now. Hold everything! I'm not sounding any smarter, in fact, if it's possible, I might be sounding stupider
2. Reading Sue's blog each and every day will at least make you more informed, if not smarter. Do yourself a favor. Read it.
3. Laptops are a huge time suck. I need to a lot certain time for computer play. If not, I'll just ramble to any one who will listen.
(Sorry BA and Mark)
Okay that's enough for now. Time to go hang with the girls. Here's some blog people:

Asude (Sue) smart blogger.