Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Mysteries......

This is the same old story, but it's what I've got today. This is the thing. You're a kid. You watch your Mom do all the stuff around the house and you don't really think about it that much. Even when she says, "Clean your room," or something like that. I don't believe there is much thought that goes into it. It's an eye roll and tossing a couple pieces of clothing in the laundry basket (for her to wash, dry and fold) maybe you take those water cups down to the kitchen, you certainly don't put them in the dishwasher. That would be crazy. Just set 'em on the counter, she'll get 'em. You know, your Bitch.

When your kids are little instead of those silly "Makin' Music" classes and Gymboree, I think a little, "Clean Up After Yourself" class would be a gold mine. You know, you could rent one of those big rooms and instead of putting things to climb on you could put folded laundry and drawers, or dishes and a dishwasher or trash and a trash can. You could point out that the trash actually goes in the trash can. Not on the table. This is a concept that is hard for my sweet adorable almost ten year old son. He unwraps a piece of gum and tosses the wrapper down, pretty much wherever. I can't tell you how this annoys me. You know, we don't have enough to do but pick up everyone else's junk.

I am listing the things I don't understand. Yes I was a kid and a slob, but that's over now. I'm the Mom, and, I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

1. Why do you throw your shoes directly in front of the door we are walking in? Is it because A) You like to hear me complain about it? B) You want to see someone trip? or C) You're lazy? D) All of the above
2. What is it with leaving socks on the counter? I don't get that at all. It makes no sense to me and frankly bugs the shit out of me.
3. You have a hamper, is it so hard to actually put the clothes in it? Why near it? Why not in it? It would take less than a second more. For real. Do it!
4. If you can't put away the clothes you have why are you asking me to buy more?
5. How many times total should I be prepared to ask you to put on your shoes before school? And if it is (like I have learned) more than five, would a recording work?
6. Do you believe those dirty dishes are going to carry themselves downstairs and while we're on the subject, do you remember me saying, "No eating in your room?"
7. Who do you love more, Me or Daddy?
8. It's me right?
9. Fine, I know it's him.
10. I love you more than anyone, Both of you. Even though your slobs.

14 comments:

Christy said...

Ditto. ALL of it! And the 'Clean Up After Yourself Class'? You're freakin' brilliant! It's a gold mine sister! I wouldn've taken it. Seriously. I STILL would.

Christy said...

Yay--I was first!

Christy said...

Not that I have a thing about being first or anything...

Kathy S. said...

My new expression around home is
"Cinderella has left the building." Sometimes it works...And then sometimes I break my toe (again)on the shoes/backpacks/soccer balls thrown down in the back hall.

Simple Answer said...

Amen.

christina said...

I had a nun in grade school Sister Madeline Marie. She use to say "many hands make light work." I say it to my kids all the time. Damn, i wish i had 8 arms.

Meredith said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, he, he, he, heheheh.
Love, Mom

jami~ said...

amy~this had me laughing out loud. i had to read this out loud to sean and he was laughing, too. i dig the idea of clean up class. sometimes my mind is so incredulous at the lack of common sense in my kids that i could implode... then i turn around and they have written "i love you mom" in the steam of the bathroom on the mirror. and all is forgiven.

love this blog, baby!

heather said...

love it! my favorite is when my son opens up a cheese stick and throws the wrapper on the floor...the floor! i mean c'mon! wtf! are we maids? i agree with the whole post.

Lula! said...

Christy stole my comment--but I'll share it with her:

"DITTO!"

Or, as we love to joke, "DILDO!" Because what's funnier than dropping the word "dildo" into an everyday kind of conversation?

Gosh, are you sad you know me? I am one sick soul. HA!

Meredith said...

I could have written this...socks on the counter and shoes I trip over. I frigging almost broke my toe tripping on shoes last summer....mind-numbing!

Kathy S. said...

Amy, Your mom is soooo mean, laughing at us. She sounds just like my mom when I called to complain that Maddie (age 3) was wide wake at 6:00am each morning, ready to start her day. My Mom simply said,"It couldn't happen to a more deserving mother." Hmmmmphh.

Amy said...

Kathy, I know! My mom thinks it's funny. I get it. Someday, I probably will too.......
We'll stand on our hands together and laugh as our little angels trip over their kids shoes. :)

Tiffany said...

I love 7 - 10. Girl, you crack me up.