The Customers Always ...Something

So Marc has been in the car biz for like eva. Aside from a few short other selling gigs and a couple days there where he fancied himself a professional gambler straight out of college this is what he does. It's not an easy business. Just keeping the lights on in the place month to month is a huge undertaking. People don't realize this. They just think, 'they all wanna rob ya blind.' As many of you know, Marc is like the nicest person alive. I'm not just saying that cause he's my husband, it's the truth. He would do anything for anybody. He fixes things, not just broken things, but things. If my friends get in trouble or something happens, they usually call him before me. Sometimes to break the news to me and sometimes to help them. While this is an amazing trait, it's hard, given his business. He deals with many lovely people, but twice as many, uh, how should I say.... not so lovely people. And the things people say and do is utterly unbelievable. I'm not kidding, he comes home with stories that just make me shake my head. People expect a whole lot for nothing. Loan me a car, drop me off a car, find me the exact car I want for five dollars a month. All these things he does without thinking. He doesn't mind any of it. It's just part of the deal. It's always me that says, "Did they say thank you?" Usually the answer is a shaking head no. Thank yous go a long way.
Okay, none of that is funny. The funny part is what goes on in the dealership. People are just friggin' crazy. They will have full out fights with each other. Kids running around like it's a playground. People making out in the waiting room, to the point where no one else feels comfortable sitting there. NOT THAT THERE"S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS but Marc has seen more strangers boobs as they breast feed in front of him than anyone in the world. It's to the point of funny, he could get a place in the world records book and NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT but it makes him soooo uncomfortable, which is his right. Right? So last night he comes home and he's like, "I got a really good one for you." I am intrigued, "What? Tell me." I demand. He starts telling me about this woman who is in there buying a car off my friend, a salesperson, Heather. The woman is in her early 40's, relatively attractive, has on the whole 'I hate it here' armour. So Heather gets her the car, does her whole job and Marc is helping her with something at the end. This woman tells him, "I hate car salespeople." Marc says, "I hate you." I''m just kidding. I said that. Marc really says, "Well, let's just try to make this as pleasant for you as possible." Then the woman says to him, and I'm not making this up, ask Marc, she says, "Hey, where's the bathroom? That bran muffin I ate on the turnpike has just kicked in." Oh yes she did.

Personal Titles

My very same pacifist friend, who dislikes Kid Rock is opening a store in Istanbul called Tulu. Besides the Kid Rock e mail yesterday I received another one asking for my input on possible job titles she should put on her business card for the store. Some possibilities were: ~Grossly Negligent ~Party Enhancer ~Boozer and the last one she had thought of was ~Wildly Inappropriate. While all these accurately describe her and give my a huge chuckle, I told her my personal favorite was ~Grossly Negligent. I think it's just so funny. If someone gave me a card with that on it I would be so much more apt to keep it, stick it on the fridge and smile every time I passed it then if I got the card that said ~Store Owner or whatever. So when I told her this she e mailed back and told me where it came from, I am going to share that here too. Cause it's funny.
Once again, copied and pasted from the e mail:
yes grossly negligent is one my faves too. a few years back i had a customer on a trip who is a big time human rights lawyer. she has become a good friend and has travelled with me in turkey twice and Uzbekistan as well. one night after staying up with a group(all 60yrs old and older) partying, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and playing air guitar until 4 am....we took a hike the next am - i told everyone(mostly senior citizens) that it was a leisurely hike- more like a walk. well.....it wasn't so much. and we nearly lost one guy in the first five minutes. 5 hrs later we did all make it but we were all a bit shaken and sweaty. i personally was sweating from the stress and the hangover. when the guy fell down the cliff- i looked over to Joan (the lawyer) and said " how well does that little release form i had you all sign protect me?" she said " well, if they can prove you to be grossly negligent it doesn't work at all....." i said what would an example be?" she said, " plying old people with alcohol until 4 am getting them up to take a walk that turns out to be a death-hike"
so after that- the group got together and made little cards that said elizabeth hewitt- grossly negligent.
glad you like it...i still think it is so funny and gives me the best giggle.
So think of some personal titles for yourself, make it interesting.

Thirsty?

So one of my very best and most influential friends has huge issue with me liking Kid Rock. I got a long e mail today with bullet points of why she hates him.
I am copying and pasting directly out of the e mail-
-he supports bush
-he is a rabid republican
-he is a loser
-he has greasy hair
-he supports bush
-he has no talent
- he sings country songs
-he wears American flag outfits
-he is a hick
-he is a rabid republican
-he is a grease ball
Can you say chugging down the hater ade?
While yes, supporting Bush and being a republican aren't on the top of my favorites list, what do these things have to do with his abs, I mean music?
I did laugh all day about the, he's a loser, and he's a grease ball. I have to say I also appreciated the time and thought invested in this e mail. She is a very busy woman. I guess she owed it to me cause one year for her birthday I listed one thing from every year of her life about her. That took some serious thought, but nothing can compare to -he is a hick. She also said listening to Kid Rock is the musical equivalent of wearing a hairpiece. How great is that? I love that she referenced a previous post.
My response was that of course, she has always given me good advice in the past, she is the one that turned me onto fair isle sweaters and turtlenecks with whales on them. It was from her that I learned the fine art of "sneaking out". It was from her that I learned how to light up a cigarette stolen from her dad's pack. So I'm quite sure she is trying to lead me in the right direction. I am just so stubborn. My response to her was that of course I will consider her words of wisdom but if I can go to a Kid Rock with my gay brother and have a blast then I am going to go on living the dream. I just don't think she looked closely at the pictures of Dave and Jimmy enjoying themselves. Had she seen the gleam in Jimmy's eyes while jamming out to Kid maybe she would have thought differently. I don't know.

Look at how happy they are. You can't argue with that.