Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Which Came First?

There is a lot of information that I don't know about chickens. I never knew that I didn't know this until tonight. Don't judge me. I'm not a farmer.

"So does Twist really have chickens in her house?" Heather asks.
"She sure does. Right in her kitchen. They're big too. Like emus or ostriches or pterodactyls." I answer.
"What are they for? Why do they have them? Are they going to eat them?" she asked.
"Not unless she wants her kids to need a whole lot of therapy." I say. "I don't know what they're for. I think they're going to lay eggs. No wait, they can't, there is no rooster."
"They can still lay eggs," Heather says.
"How? They're all girls." I ask.
"They only need the rooster to fertilize it. I think." Heather replies.
"Huh? I don't get that. What's in the eggs then?" I'm being honest here. I have no idea how this works. When I think about it it does seem to make sense because chickens lay a lot of eggs, that rooster would be really busy. I just never thought about this before.
"There's still an egg. It just can't become a chick." Heather answers.
"What? What's in it then? Is there still yolk?" this seems insane to me.
"Yes, it just can't ever be a chicken."
"Do people eat roosters or just chickens?" I do ask this. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit it.
"I think so, you know how there are Tom turkeys and... what's the female one?" Heather says.
"I don't even know what you're talking about. Tom who? I asked you if people ate roosters or do they only eat chickens?" I say stupidly cause don't get me wrong, i know this whole conversation is asinine and I'm not even telling the worst of it.
"I think roosters and hens all fall under the umbrella of the chicken family."she says.
"Huh, good point. I forgot all about the whole hen thing."
Then it's Heather's turn. "Why don't chicken's give milk?" she says.
"What do they eat? Do you think they nurse?"
"I don't think so, I've never seen chickens with teets and I think they eat they stuff the farmer sprinkles on the floor."
"Good point."

So I just google this. Apparently, the hen doesn't need a rooster to lay eggs. When a hen is about 6 weeks old she will just start laying them. Like very smart Heather said, a rooster will just fertilize them. So it will never be a chick if the rooster wasn't there. So here is another question. Does a vegetarian who doesn't eat eggs believe in stem cell research? Just like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which did come first? I flip flop on this. I say egg, no chicken, no it's the egg, no no, definitely the chicken. Egg. Chicken. Egg.

Other interesting chicken facts:
Chickens can have sex changes. So can ducks and peacocks.
It takes an egg 21 days to hatch.
The baby chick eats the yolk before it cracks out of the shell.

I'm like Sue with all my smarty knowledge. You can thank me later.


Sue Jacquette said...

Yes, just like Sue. I have a headache now. Thanks you and good day.

Kathy said...

Now you are talking turkey! (G'father, uncle and cousin were/are in the poultry biz. Don't ask/please don't judge.)

Yes, they can drop eggs (like us) with out a rooster.

Yes, the true equal opportunity is the Chicken Dinner Special.

Female Turkey is a Hen.

Need clarification: does this vegetarian where Gucci (leather) shoes?

Primordial Soup.

Lora said...

oh yes. chicken periods.
you don't need a man to have your period.
i ate two periods with rye toast this morning, and it was delish.

twist said...

OK, we got the chickens for their feathers - so I could make more window treatments. We will not be milking them, though our hens are dark and we're told they would, therefore, provide chocolate milk starting at around 16 weeks. When they've outlived their usefulness, we're going to give them to Amy's little dog and see if we get mickens.

LiLu said...

"The baby chick eats the yolk before it cracks out of the shell."

I was WONDERING why they weren't all messy!

Christy said...

Well, I didn't know any of this very important information either--thank you for informing me!! Chickens w/sex changes? That is great!

twist said...

and you thought this made you look dumb...

Lora said...

also, I always thought that the yolk WAS the chicken. Or at least it would turn into the chicken. I guess all those urban legends about cracking an egg that had a beak in the yolk are all fake. hmmm.

i've been obsessing about eggs all day.

Anonymous said...

Which brings us to the next age old question:

Why did the Micken cross the road?

Kathy said...

ooops..... I guess I am feeling invisible (or anonymous) today - like the sun.

twist said...

It's obvious that this isn't the most chicken-savvy group, but dumb we are not. Isn't anyone proficient in photoshop? Why haven't we seen a picture of the elusive micken? C'mon people.

Anonymous said...

Wow - THAT is a LOT of chicken talk....

heather said...

So after our conversations on chickens last night, I got to thinking bout turkeys. Someone already answered my question as to what female turkeys are called. But how bout baby turkeys? Do they call them turkings or do they call them turks? Anyone??? And do both sexes have that red hanging "thingy"???

heather said...

And twist, I would love a feather boa! It would be perfect for those nights I was feeling a little sassy.

Tom the Lazy-ass Steroid King said...

True story: a guy who works for me has a little brother who got a chick for christmas. Named it "chicken" (clever boy...he's now a weekend anchor in Scranton. Insert your own "the office" joke here.) Surprisingly, the chick grew up and became a chicken. The mother (unlike Twist) wasn't having this, so called a neighbor to take the chicken away. Chicken returned home later that day...plucked, beheaded, etc. He made for a delicious dinner, unbeknownst to the little brother.

My colleague, at age 9, knew that this was FABULOUS ammo to have against a younger brother. So, sure enough, 6 months later during an argument, he dropped the Chicken Bomb. Chicken: eaten. Little boy: traumatized.

Amy said...

I love that you are all just short of crazy. Or not. Seriously Lora, you're comment made me and my brother who I was on the phone with laugh out loud.

Kathy, your chicken facts astound me and Why did the Micken cross the road? Priceless... and wait and you shall see.

Twist. Straight up Whack. Nuff said.

Christy, thank you for making me appear knowledgeable when we all know I'm not... Love you too...

Tom, dude, You are the Cats Pajamas, the Chickens egg, Rabbits ears ( I just made that up, I was going to say the dogs bone but that sounded weird) it's just to bad you're so gd lazy and a steroid junkie or you could possibly be the perfect husband. Oh well. What are you gonna do?
I hope no one eats your guys chickens, like that psycho with the car. That wouldn't be good.