Wednesday, February 18, 2009

But We've Got Papers!

Here is a sample conversation, any given day when someone new comes in our house. First let me set the stage: "Yap Yap Yap Yap Yap." Small furry black and white creature wiggles its back half, shakes it's head with some sort of toy in it, all the while sort of hopping backwards. (Hey, Marc, do you think it's a kangaroo?)

Visitor in my house: "Huh? What kind of dog is that?"
Me: "It's a Pomeranian."
At this point a strange look crosses over their face. Their eyes squint. Their head tilts to the side. "Really? That doesn't look like any Pomeranian I've ever seen."
Yea, tell me something I haven't heard a hundred thousand times before, even from the vet.
"Well, we've got papers from the Pet Store (that has since gone out of business) that say he's a Pomeranian."
"Amy, you know people can forge passports, birth certificates and print fake money, do you think someone couldn't have whipped up some fake papers so they could over charge you?"
"Shut up." that's my smart retort.

Let me lay this out. His name is Mickey. Although we haven't figured out from what animal family he hails from we do know for a fact that he's a boy. We know that because one time when I was cutting a knot out of his fur I almost did the surgery myself. Let's all say a little thank you to God that I did not perform any medical procedures that I am not liscensed to in the state of Pa. Or anywhere else for that matter. Suffice it to say. Someone was looking out for Mickey that day. I noticed at the last minute there weren't extra knotted balls of hair.
We've always been convinced he is half cat. He does cough up hair balls. Pad around on the bed to make a "spot" for himself, and mew, just like a cat. Or does he squeak? It's an odd sound. He also carries around a binkie and performs unjust acts on poor unsuspecting toys we turn over to him like accessories to a serial killer. It's sad really. The animal just lies there with a dead eye staring up at the ceiling while Mickey "hangs out" with it.
My friend Ashley wants to videotape it for an expert to look at.

I'm going to follow Asudes lead and make an online gratitude journal. Today's theme is Mickey.
1. I'm grateful he takes the time to smell the flowers. We could all learn a lesson from Mickey.
2. I'm grateful he gives my German Shepherd something to play with.
3. I'm grateful he'll hold onto the cookie I give him for hours until I get home to eat it. It makes me feel loved.
4. I'm grateful he's not like all the other dogs. He's so fitting for me.
5. I'm grateful he hasn't bitten anyone to the point of a hospital visit.


Kathy S. said...

I am grateful that he likes to show me his toys (not share mind you, but still...).

Heather said...

I am grateful he hasn't peed on my massage table, yet...since he's peed on everything else. Love you Mickey :)

Meredith said...

I'm grateful you're finally appreciating that sweet little dog. For the moment.

twist said...

I'm grateful he's yours.

Anonymous said...

At least you have ceased the speakeasy operation...can I offer you some vodka? Jay? Bump? which I was afraid was coming next after the "sample conversation when someone new comes to the house"....:)

Mark said...

I'm grateful he's one of a kind.

Wep said...

But he's so cute!!!!! And yay that you saved his balls. Can I say balls on a comment? I guess I just did.


Anonymous said...

I'm grateful he hasn't ran away yet when you've been away on vacation...oopsie

Lula! said...

These comments from "Anonymous" are cracking me up.

As is your title: "But we've got papers!"

Oh, are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome to me.

twist said...

It's not that I don't just adore that little fuzz-ball Mickey like the dickens. And certainly I can't speak for all your fans. But after faithfully tuning in for not one...not two...but FIVE whole days and seeing, again and again, this post about Mickey (precious little darling that he is), I feel entitled to some small token of your appreciation. Perhaps a lengthy yoga playlist with only new and fabulous tunes? That would do nicely. Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

Oh, I think you know said...

Oh, and you might want to resolve this as quickly as possible. Not everyone is as reasonable as I am. Some people might make steeper demands...decorating services, art, pitchers of see what I mean, of course. DO IT.