A Public Service Announcement

Okay, so we got the lo down or the down lo or whatever it is that is being said these days.

I'll be the first to one to tell you, I'm cool. No. Really. For real... ( in my head). At least as far as forty year old mothers go. So I don't understand txt shorthand. Half the time I have to get my daughter to translate what she has written. And sometimes my children don't think I am nearly as funny as I think I am but I'm sorry, as far as mother's go, I'm not so bad.
I just don't know a thing.

I always thought that because I was of questionable "goodness" in high school and Marc probably fell under even that blurry line that we would have no problem with kids as they became teenagers. We would know. Whatever they could bring at us, one of us would have done it at some point in our checkered youth.

It's not the eighty's anymore people. Hole-Lee.

Seriously, right?

So tonight Suzy and I take the girls (hers and mine, 13 and 11) out to dinner. Sue is also "cool." She's also a much tougher nut than I am. No actually does mean no in her house and there is no bickering about it. Although tonight I did hear her daughter, Jade's side of what will be known as "the Halloween costume," incident. Jade wanted to be candy corn witch. Apparently that costume is somewhat trashy and low cut. Sue wanted to fix it so it didn't appear quite so revealing. Jade was annoyed. Sue ended the discussion with, "Honey, I just don't want you to look like a hussy." Nuff said.

So we got the girls talking. Jade spoke of how she is friends with everyone, the popular kids, the jocks, even the druggies. She doesn't do drugs but she doesn't judge her friends that do.
"So what kind of drugs to kids do these days?" I ask. I am thinking she is going to say, "Pot or Ecstasy," or something I have heard of,
Not so much.
"Purple mist," Jade says.
"What the hell is that?" I ask. "Purple mist? What do you do? Spray it on you? Is it perfume? Do you inhale it? Huff it? Do kids still huff? Where do you get it? I don't understand!!!? I spew out.
"I don't know." she says slowly, "I guess they inhale it," she says.
"Inhale it how? Smoke it? Is there a joint involved? A bong? A hairspray bottle? Whip its? Huffing? Do kids still huff? What is huffing anyway? I never understood how that worked?"
They just stared at me for a minute.
"Come on. I don't understand what it is," I look at Sue for answers.
She takes a sip of wine and says, "I don't know either, Honey."
"What about you Saige," I ask, "Do you know anyone that does drugs?"
"No. I think drugs are stupid," she says.
"Well they are, but people, kids in particular can be stupid too. I just want to know what goes on. What else is there?"
"There's Murr," Jade chimes in.
"Murr? What the hell is that? Isn't that something one of the wisemen brought the baby Jesus? What do kids do with that?"
They all just shrugged their shoulders with wide eyes and shook there heads that they didn't know
This worries me.
It's an uphill battle this whole parenting deal.
What seemed like a nice idea when you were looking at baby name books and picking out crib bedding has taken a whole new turn. Middle school. Boys, drugs, kissing, trashy Halloween costumes, and bitchy girls, combat that with the influences outside of school, sibling rivalry, sports pressure, friends with troubles, divorce, the list goes on and on.

My head is spinning. I mean really, Murr? What is that? I am going to google it and get back to you. Until then, I think we could all use a little yoga. Right?