Monday, August 31, 2009

Bye Summer

The first day of school. This summer flew by. In an instant. In one second. Like a flash. Get it? It was quick. And now my daughter, my little girl, my baby is in middle school. That is just bizarre to me. She got hooked up with a late bus pick up this year. Which is nice. So she's already to go. Last night she took a shower and blew out her hair like a professional. She picked out the cutest outfit complete with little gold gladiator sandels. When I say little, I actually mean they are to big for me. So she's sitting at the counter having a little chill time after she ate, stretching out her long legs just cool as a cucumber. I am trying not to let her see how anxious I am. "Mom do my legs look tan to you?" that's what she just asked me. Oh my God, I could not love this child anymore.

This year my two little Irish twins are in two different schools so Chase has not graced us with his presence yet. He gets to sleep a few more minutes than her, which is nice. When he gets up she will be walking out the door. That means a little time with both of them in the morning and no fighting. I have a feeling this is going to be a good year.

Also as Chase told me last night because he is in the highest grade his school has, he is now, "The King of the School." It's good to be king. Not only that but he has the best teacher you can get in the whole school. As much as kids and parents hope and pray not to get the "mean" ones or the "bad" ones, we hope and pray that when 5th grade comes around they get Mr. V. Saige had Mr. V. last year. We have been very fortunate, it makes getting up for school so much easier.

I did just see on a note that came home from Chase's teacher it said, "Bring in a book you are currently reading." I read that out loud to Saige and we both started to laugh. I just told Chase that and he said, "I am going to be honest with Mr. V, and tell him I am not reading one darn book." I'm going to miss summer but thank God school is starting before he just forgets how to read all together.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Toothfairy, Yes or No?

Listen to me. When did the tooth fairy become such a production? I'll admit that I am old, whatever, but honestly I'm kind of feeling superior about that right now. When I was a kid I didn't expect presents and a song and a dance or a hundred dollar bill when I lost a tooth. I expected like a buck at best. That's if the tooth fairy had given away all her shiny quarters.

Nowadays it's like a Broadway show, or at least the price of a ticket when nature occurs and one of your kids teeth falls out. Don't even get me started about when they get pulled, Jesus, you need to take out a loan for that nonsense.

The first time my daughter lost a tooth we were away in the mountains. Snowed in. Marc had hundreds in his pocket. I suggested we put some nuts under her pillow and call it a "food gift for the weather" he gave a hundred dollar bill. You can imagine how disappointed next time when we were home and completely forgot to put anything under there cause we'd had a few cocktails at dinner.

That's called, "The Early Morning Tooth Fairy Better Be Really Clever," so as not to wake the little sleeping angel when trying to get the tooth out and slip a little five spot under there sweet little head.

Those kids are wiley though! If you can't find the tooth or don't want to disturb them to much and miss taking it, they'll try to put it under a second night! One time Saige even wrote some note for Chase to the Tooth Fairy explaining why he should get paid twice. I think it was a good argument too.

Recently I was up in Maine with my very talented friend, and her daughter lost a tooth. My overachiever friend got her laptop out and was doing the google for origami with money! I swear to God. She made a bang up butterfly too out of some dollar bills. Then she cut up tin foil out into little pieces for "fairy dust." She sprinkled a trail from the door to the pillow. Saige was sitting down with us while she was doing that and the little hundred dollar ingrate had the nerve to ask me why I never did anything like that? Um...Let's see. I'm stupid, I guess. I don't know why. It never occurred to me. After about the sixth lost tooth I started to forgot until the morning, would have no cash and have to go steal it from my son's piggy bank to put under her pillow. Origami and cut up kitchen products would have been a bit of a stretch. However, I have made some mental notes for my next life time. I sure hope I have the same kids. If I do I'm totally going to make balloon animals out of money and capture some real fairies to keep in cages by the side of their beds then I am going to serve cake for breakfast and have magic elves carry them to school! I think that will make them totally happy. :)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's Been A Wait

A long time ago I wrote a little ditty about my favorite book. The Time Travelers Wife. I love this book so much. After I read it I told everyone I knew to read it. I judged people on whether they liked it or not. Like it, I'll be your friend. Don't like it, beat it. Thank God my Mom loved it. I wasn't ready to let her go.

Actually quite a few people just didn't get it. Or they would say they couldn't get into it. Seriously then, please put the book down. Get off the babysitter Joel. I didn't want to have to explain to people why I loved this book so much. For a long time I didn't even understand what the draw was for me. Now I do.

Tonight my friend Lisa and I are going to see the movie together. I'm a little anxious cause if it was anything like that debacle of the movie version of the book Twilight I am going to throw a fit right in the theater. If I like the book I want to love the movie, like Shawshank. I am crossing my fingers and praying to the Sun that it's good. I don't expect great. I just don't want to have to stamp my feet and throw stuff in the theater. Although Lisa is usually entertained by me so I don't think I'd lose a friend. And there is always that after movie cocktail to look forward to no matter what. Silver lining, I hope I don't need it for this one.

Fingers crossed.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Slacker Tom is Here!



I am very outdoorsy now.

Today we went on a ten mile hike today over rocky terrain. Kirsten told me we were just going to the beach. I wore platform flip flops. I had to go bare foot most of the time.

It was the most fun ever.





So we are leaving tomorrow morning. We had the best time.

We rowed boats.
We dove off really bouncy diving boards.
We saw eagles and a loon.
We went to Schoodic.
Saige ran her first four miles.
We kayaked.
Saige and Chase made a homemade blueberry pie.
There is a new mantra by Grayden, "Om namah naamyschromm."
We went to Nervous Nellies.
We went to the emergency room.
We ate lobster.
We hiked.
Then we hiked some more.
We did yoga tricks all over the state.
We drank blueberry mojitos.
Saige learned to knit.
Grayden (3 yrs old) said, "Amyshromm, do you know how to knit?" I said, "No." He whispered to me, "Maybe I could teach you."
We made a bear trap.
We caught a cat.
We drove to the top of Cadillac Mountain.
We fed children a lot of icecream.
We picked blueberries.
We saw many Unexpected Treasures.
We watched Cash Cab.
We laughed.
We made some new friends.
We cut Chase's hair.
We went to Acadia.
We stayed up really late.

Now my kids can never say,
"Well I've never been to Maine
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it
They don't abuse it
Never gonna lose it
You can't refuse it."


So I've got that going for me...

Twist, say it with me...
"Om namah naamyshromm."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ice Cream All Day Long

Today was quite an adventure. It started with a three hour drive to what I thought was possibly North Carolina. We were following Twist and her wee ones and I'm quite sure we had to switch from the EZ pass to the Sunpass.


We finally arrived in a cute little town where Twist announced to everyone that they could get ice cream all day long. As many times as they wanted to. They could choose to eat only ice cream if that was what they were feeling today. So we sat down in the morning to their first cone. I made friends with a lovely older couple that later Twist completely scared off by scolding the woman for even mentioning that the dead bat could be carrying disease. Whatever.


We walked through the town and I took a million pictures. Twist singing opera. Saige doing handstands. Our adorable kids and whatever else made us smile...


(Chase made me post this)

Then we went to the coolest place eva. I should have known it was going to be fun when while following Twist in her car she came to a three way intersection in the middle of no where and started doing donuts. I followed her. She finally stopped after we had made about ten passes, she looked out the window and said, "See if you can catch me," and took off like the proverbial bat out of hell.

After she did ninety through a slow zone we arrived at Nervous Nellies Jams and Jellies. If the name isn't enough to make you love it the fact that her artist husband has make an entire enchanted forest out of junk. It was so much fun.






I took 225 pictures. This could go on and on. I just put some favorites so my kids could remember their holiday in Maine with the Auntie Twistavarkski. There is nothing remotely odd about any of it.


Not even on the car ride to lunch when Chase said, "I don't trust you and Kirsten." I don't get that at all...

Twist- You're Batty

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Another Vacation-Another Night In the Emergency Room

Apparently setting traps for bears was not our smartest of ideas.

That's not why we were in the hospital tonight though. It is a true fact that many vacations, camp sessions and even occasionally a day trip to Hershey Park can include a trip to the emergency room. We have had broken ankles from surfing, strep throat on a holiday, stitches, a few things I am sure I am forgetting and tonight a baseball size bump on Saige's stomach.

So off we go to the Small Town Maine Hospital. Five hours in an emergency room is a long time. Probably about 95 songs on the shuffle if you were measuring by music.
In case this ever happens to you, here are some suggestions of what to do in the emergency room
1. Cash Cab! I am not a big tv watcher. I had never seen this show before. Saige totally turned me onto this show while in the waiting room. It was the most fun! The guy and the people and the cab and the questions! Every time I got an answer correct I would blurt it out to her. Then when I found out I was right I would be like, "Did you hear that? I got that one!" She would look at me with amusement and say very patiently, "I know Mom. I heard you." Sweet kid. Then this old man who was the biggest know it all comes in and totally steals my thunder. He knew all the answers, he informed us that he had a subscription to National Geographic for 15-20 years and he read them from cover to cover. Whatever, bragger.
2.Handstands in the hall way (that's a given). Saige is really good at this game.
3. Ask the woman in the blue jacket incessantly if our turn is soon.

And...well... that's about it.

When Cash Cab ends we are stuck with a cartoon and a long wait. Finally we go in the room. Which is actually just another waiting room. This is where we became punch drunk. The nurse came in and handed Saige a gown, she said without any accent at all, "Now take off your Wooly and I will pull the curtain for pri-va-Cee." I would have to say that I liked this very much. I like the word wooly, I like how she prounced privacy but I would really like to see someone with a stethoscope walk through the door.

In the end we left with no real answers from the doctor, some steroids, antibiotics and a prescription or two. He didn't think it was funny at all when I asked him to throw an extra one of pain killers while he was at it.

On the way home we got lost. Typical, normal, par for the course. Waiting room for five hours, starving, dark, strange place, I go 20 minutes in the wrong direction. Just another day.

When we walked in the door Chase had made plates of food for us and cut it up so we didn't have any work to do. He was so worried about Saige. I am saving this post for him. A little absence made him appreciate us more and I think he was actually a little jealous of our Cash Cab watching, poor sweet angel.

We also watched Twist cut her on hair this morning, collected items for the bear trap, in fact, Kirsten asked the man at the store if he had any bear calling whistles (he didn't think that was funny either), broke two glasses simaltaneously in two different rooms, learned to knit, saw the eagle again, divers rock, heard the worlds largest bullfrog. Sang Jeremiah was a bullfrog, thwarted a bear attack on the way down to the dock at one in the morning for star gazing and saw some shooting stars.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Picking Little Blue Balls in the Bush By Bar Harbor and A Big Black Bear in A Bark Bungalow

I'm so addicted to... all the things you do... when you are playing the alphabet game.

So today we went to Acadia National Park. I'm a total park girl. At least that's what Twist says when she is hurling shoes at my camera.


Have I mentioned that she is a home schooler?

So we took a fun hike where she insisted that I walk on a broken tree way out over the water and perform tricks. Of course I did, because that's what I do. She is a teacher. I should listen.


We spent some time there. After Kirsten addressed all the water fowl in the pond and thanked them for listening to her good word we sat down to lunch at the park where Chase did order a lobster by the way. Our waiter whose name was either Kyle, Michael or Scott was very kind. As he walked away the first time, Kirsten said, "I'm thinking theater major."
The day was off to a good start!


We then winded our way up to the top of Cadillac Mountain where there were tricks to be done and blueberries to be picked. Kirsten and I spent some time performing a Cirque de Soleil skit on a boulder while our children ran wild around the mountain. They were picking blueberries. They were off in pairs scarfing up sweet wild blueberries while another group of children came down by us. Kirsten and I were sitting watching the kids when we heard a little tune...
"We are picking little blue balls in the bush by bar harbor! -W are - on -the -top -of the mountainnnnn. We pick them to eat-for -dinner. They are red and blue and green and white- we can't eat them right away..." This went on and on by a very clever little girl. She had some lyrics going. Her sister was doing the mixxing the lps on the turntable near by.

After a little bit a man came by with a container for the girls to put the stolen berries. Kirsten, who is so very clever, quite like Nancy Drew, deduced that this was the father of the little singers. In her very kind way she said to the man, "Are they your girls?" He wanted to ignore us. He made himself turn around and give us a short nod as he said, "Yes." Kirsten, not detered by his shortness said, "We have really been enjoying listening to them singing." He barely nodded at us. This is when she turned into Twist. She looked at me and said, "Yeah, he probably can't stand it. On the car ride here he was losing his mind, (she started imitating him) " Jesus! Shut the f*&k up! You haven't stopped singing since Nevada. Can I get five minutes of peace in this car you little bastards!" Um hmm. Um hmm. Um hmm.

We rounded up our people and headed home. On the way in a lot of traffic I see her turn signal go on, I look to the left and a big huge sign says, ' Church of the Savior- Jehovah's Witness's.'
"What's so funny Mom?" my kids ask.
"Kirsten is insane, that's all."
"Oh, okay," they granted me way to easily.

Later at home Kirsten was collecting kindling for a camp fire.
"Dude! Come here. I need you to see something," she says to me.
"What?" I was very busy with my blueberry mojito.
"You need to see this!" she insisted.

I walk over and she points to the woods. "What is that?" she asks me as she points to something that looks strangely like a skull. To the left was an odd little make shift den with some empty bottles inside. "What do you think lives in there?" she asks.
"A bear! Let's leave it some honey tonight!" I say. I just love bears. They are so cute and cuddly.
"That's not a good idea," she says.
"I think it is," I say.

So we have a plan. Tomorrow we are going to go to Home Depot and get some blue chalk and white paper. We are going to leave some cat food in the middle of it and see if we can find the paw prints. We are going to have the children take turns during the night on shift work. They might as well earn their keep. Lazy bastards.

Cut and Color



Chase had (see the tense I'm using there Mom?) really long, shaggy hair. I am all about freedom of hair cut, get your ears pierced, wear some goofy sneakers if they make you feel cool. Go get 'em. When I can't see your eyes anymore cause your hair is just falling in front of them and you have to keep your head at a odd angle to see I think you need a trim.

I tried to bribe Chase with many things in order to get a hair cut. Stay home from school, a day trip to New York, even a complete get out of jail free card for the next time he does something wrong.
"No. No. No," he said.

Last night was the night. My friend Twist is a jack of all trades. She's got her own hair cutting scissors (not in the same way I have my own dog grooming shaver thing, she's on the up and up). Chase and she did the google :) "long shaggy haircuts," he chose one. She started cutting. The amount of hair that came off him was unbelievable. I had to keep dancing around him like a nutcase with a broom and removing the evidence.

It looks awesome. I can see his beautiful face again. It's still long but it has a style now.

I put up that nice peaceful picture at the top of this post cause it's peaceful. I am hoping that's how he wakes up. Positive thinking.

I had to promise him that he could dye it brown. That makes a little nervous.

He's totally getting Lobster!

A Word To the Wise

Or not so wise.
You can all thank me later.
So lets say you decided to take a little vacation to Maine.
Lots of people do. People in general (except me) love lobster. I can't stand it! The fact that they are alive when you put them in the pot makes me want to throw up. I have no high moral ground of eating no chicken and wearing no leather and not looking a rottweiler in the eye at dusk on Tuesdays but live lobsters being killed for the feast grosses me out. Whatever.
That being said, it is Chase's favorite dinner. My ten year old is a very expensive date. I haven't told him that Maine is famous for lobsters yet. I'm going to wait til we get home and people ask him if he ate a lot of lobster. He will question me why we didn't and I will say, "Oh, I forgot."
just like he did when I asked him where the old sneakers I asked him to pack were.

Where was I? Oh yes, about to give out valuable advice.
So you go here:

This is Schoodic. It's a rock pennisula in Maine. It's super cool. You can walk on the rocks, or just hang out.

Perhaps you just want to take in the views

Here's the advice part:
Don't go out on the ledge. You get yelled at by the ranger person and possibly killed by a rogue wave. Now I don't want anyone killed but I do love the words, "rogue wave," it makes me sound so smart, like I know what I'm talking about. I really don't. Don't believe anything I say. Except you. You believe me right?

Anyway, apparently once a year people get killed at this very spot. I think I should tag this as, "feel good story," I don't really know how to do that but when I do I will come back to this.
Back on track!
We went there and Kirsten kept saying, "Look at those idiots! Who would go out there? People are so stupid! Don't they know a wave could come up out of no where and wash them away? No one survives! Those morons try to swim in and get pounded by the rocks. Every year! Another one down."

I swear this is true.

My eleven year old leans over to me and says, "Mom, if it wasn't for her, we'd be out there taking pictures, right?"
"You betcha baby. We'd be out at sea being thrashed against rocks as we speak!"

Luckily Twist was there. The funny thing is that when we got home she tried to get me to do a handstand with no hands on the ground. For realz. She billed it as, "great fun," which honestly it was but still. She's an enigma. Right? Right?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Now If I Were the King of the World


I tell you what I'd do. I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars and let...
Slacker Tom watch the kids

While
Mommy does Yoga


Maine Day One-
Kirsten made enough blueberry/zuchinni pancakes for the entire state-
We saw a Golden and a Bald Eagle and found a feather from one-
We went to divers rock-

In which I made a mockery of anyone that has ever rowed a boat-
I made a huge deal about bringing my camera, only to realize it was out of batteries-
Chase had attitude-
He made some friends-
And then got to ride jet skis as a reward for said attitude-
I made Saige run four miles with me and we saw a dead snake-
We performed a religious ceremony-
Much like my atheist friend Twist did for this plant

We did yoga tricks on the dock-
Like the "free schooler" she is, Kirsten gave us a lesson on how to open a bottle of wine by banging it on a book against the wall-

Saige and I went on a treasure hunt for garlic and onions-
We had a bonfire and roasted marshmellow while-
Twist suggested the children play a campfire game called "Whoever can attract the bats isn't a baby."
They played-No bats came-

And then there was Ruben...

Friday, August 7, 2009

Moose, Making Out and My Moon Children

Eleven hours that turns into twelve is a long time in the car. It is 202 songs on the shuffle when you count the ones I skipped cause I didn't feel like listening to. I was like the music nazi in the car. I have a lot of remixes on my IPod. I love them. Every once in a while one would come on and Chase would say, "I don't like that version, can we listen to the original?" A nice mother would say, "Of course Sweetie." Not me. I said, "If you want to go ahead on your IPod, this is my music." As an after thought I did say in a kinder voice, "Maybe it will come on the shuffle if you're patient." I was adamant about leaving it on the shuffle the entire time. I am really annoying too because I know every lyric to every song on my IPod and I sing the entire time. Non stop. Like that psycho chick in the movie with Ben Stiller. Just like that.

Driving from Pennsylvania to the top of Maine is somewhat similar to driving to South Florida. You pass through a lot of states rather quickly. Although there is no South of the Border up in the North East, if you can believe that, which is a bummer cause I LOVE South of the Border. The thing is when you get to the bottom of Maine, similar to when you get to the top of Florida, you have a long way to go. I looked at my Nav as I was telling my friend we just passed the Maine border and realized we still had about 5 hours to go. I don't understand that. Maine is like 3/4 inch big on the map. Let's face it, it's no Wyoming.

That being said, at some point my kids want me to shut up the singing. We play the all the car games, or at least that one that you go through the alphabet and say a name and a husbands name and where you live and what you sell. It's amazing how juvenile one can become nine hours into a road trip. Even if you're forty. Age doesn't count when you are cracking yourself up. Right?
"E my name is Eeyore. My husbands name is Egbert," I start with.
"Mom! Eeyore is a boy!"
""This is a gay couple. Now stop speaking out of turn," I say.
"We sell elegant edible undergarments for the elderly and we live East of the Elephants elbow in Egypt," I say proudly.
"Mom, this isn't Scattergories, you don't get more points for more E's."
" Oh yes I do, I think I just won the game with that and we're not even halfway through the alphabet."


At one point Saige said, "Chase is making out with his bear! He is so disgusting." I attempted to ignore the whole thing. Then she said, "Did you tell Mom about camp?" For this the music gets lowered a decibel. "What, did you make out at camp?" I ask, I haven't heard of this before. "Who did he make out with?" I ask Saige. "He won't tell me. I don't have a name," she said. "Did you make out or kiss?" I ask. "Just kissed, " he said. "What's the difference?" asked Saige. (I was curious too.) "When you make out, you mix tongues and exchange gum," Chase informed us. Very Good. Nuff said.

Sign- MOOSE- Next 10 Miles.
"Do you think we'll see one Mom?" Chase asked me.
"YES!"
"Good thinking positive Mom," he returned with.
"Good looking out Brother."
"Man, there are a lot of really cute dead animals on the side of the road," he said, somewhat dismayed.
"Well, you know what to do," I reminded him.
Insert our fake cross sign here.

"That is the most beautiful Moon I've seen!" Saige declared.
She was right.
It was huge and yellow. It looked like we were about to drive into it.
"Let's take a picture of it."
"Maine has the best moon ever." Saige said.
"Except that one in California," my little one upper chimed in.
Whatever, we are Moon people.

Family Car Rides Are Fun!

Saige and Chase and I are taking a little road trip today to see my lovely fairy godchildren and their slightly Twisted Mother way up in Maine. This road trip will take approximately 11 hours. Huh. I didn't give that much thought until this morning. Luckily Saige and Chase are very resourceful children and gathered all they will need to keep them occupied for an eleven hour trip. Saige was so pleased with herself for not even glancing in the Teen Vogue that had come in the mail so she would have it to enjoy in the car, they've got magazines and movies out the wahzoo. They've actually got more than enough movies to make it across the country and back. Books, ITouchs, IPods, laptops, it's unbelievable.

I remember when I was a kid we would take a different eleven hour drive to Hilton Head, my parents, my three brothers, myself all in a station wagon and the only thing we would have to play with was the fast food Styrofoam trash. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to have all the gadgetry and paraphernalia of todays day and age. I am thankful though for the toys now, those long trips to South Carolina would make two of my brothers on the verge of stir crazy. There is only so long you can play the license plate game while someone else is poking you in the eye.

Of course my brother Mark and I would be angels lying in the "way back." It was all about safety those days! I don't even remember if that car had seat belts. I know it had a lighter in the back seat cause my brother Chris would threaten to burn me with it.

Anyway, long car rides caused Scott and Chris to misbehave which drove my father crazy which made it slightly uncomfortable at times. There was nothing worse than hearing, "I'm gonna have to pull this car over." I remember it vividly after one time he found out that Chris had a knife back there. We would hear that threat come from way up yonder, Mark and I would roll our eyes and wait it out. I guess I'm thankful my own children have so much to keep them busy while I chain smoke and guzzle whiskey from the bottle to keep myself entertained. I just sure hope neither of 'em is carrying a knife.

The main problem is that I'm not sure what one does as the parent were you to pull the car over cause of fighting. Wouldn't that just leave you more time with the fighters? I guess I could just walk away but where would I go? It's a conundrum. So I'm just going to do what I always do, barely look at the road and txt my friends. No! I'm going to think positive and just hope we don't end up in North Dakota.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Tie Dying the Dog's Tail

Summer is different these days than when I was a kid. So far this summer my daughter has been to overnight camp for two weeks, the shore for a week, New York to see a Broadway show, to some birthday parties, countless shopping trips, every movie there is to see and had a constant sleep over friend. I'm sure it's my fault. I'm the mother. Someday a shrink will make a lot of money off my mistakes.

So yesterday in the car when Saige said, "Can we go to 'Build A Bear' today?" It took every bit of restraint I have to say, "No fucking way." I didn't of course but I did say, "Seriously, are you kidding me? Build a bear? Uh... let me think. NO!"
"Why not? I want to make one for Mariah," Saige said.
"Mariah is 12. She doesn't need a build a bear. Hey, I've got a good idea, why don't you go home and rip up some of your old stuffed animals and make your own Build A Bear out of the parts?"
She looked at me like I was a nutcase.
"Well, what are we going to do today?" She really asked me that.
"Um, I don't know. Why don't we clean out the gutters. Or get those toilets so sparkly we could eat off them. Perhaps we should spend the day picking up the back yard from the dogs."
"Mom! Stop it!"

Okay, we have a pool. You have a friend over. Why don't you show me how smart you are.

So we get home and she and Mariah are left to their own devices while I drive Chase to a friends house. When I get back they want to tie dye. This will require me going to the store, buying the supplies and cleaning up after them. Once again, big fat no.
A little later I go to pick up Chase and his friend so they can come swim. By this point my friend Ashley is here. The girls have complained to her they have nothing to do. She tells them to ask me if they can tie dye if they don't involve us. This requires them to walk to the store, buy the dye and do all the clean up. They ask, I agree (knowing that's not how it's going to play out but it will get rid of them for a good half an hour) and off they go.

Fast forward to tie dying time.


They tie dye shirts and socks and even a couple pairs of underwear and some feet. Then Saige says, "Mom can we dye Mickey pink?"
"Although I would like that, it's going to make a huge mess so no." I say.
Saige isn't big on the word no. She will access every situation and find a solution so it still goes her way.
"What about his paws. That would be cute."
"No. I'll have pink paw prints everywhere." I say.
"Well, how bout just his tail then?"
"No." I say, "He sleeps in my bed. He's going to mess up my clean sheets."
"It dries!"
"No."
"Please.
"Okay, fine," I'm a tough nut.
I'm in the kitchen making their dinner and I hear Saige say, "Come here Mickey. Don't be scared." That sends me into convulsive laughter. Poor Mickey. But what are dogs for if not tie dying them pink? Earn your keep dog!

Thank God they had already burned through most of the dye. Thank God they were using squirt bottles instead of a bucket.

It's raining today. I'm really to seeing what they hatch up for today's activities.

Not.