Sunday, August 2, 2009

Tie Dying the Dog's Tail

Summer is different these days than when I was a kid. So far this summer my daughter has been to overnight camp for two weeks, the shore for a week, New York to see a Broadway show, to some birthday parties, countless shopping trips, every movie there is to see and had a constant sleep over friend. I'm sure it's my fault. I'm the mother. Someday a shrink will make a lot of money off my mistakes.

So yesterday in the car when Saige said, "Can we go to 'Build A Bear' today?" It took every bit of restraint I have to say, "No fucking way." I didn't of course but I did say, "Seriously, are you kidding me? Build a bear? Uh... let me think. NO!"
"Why not? I want to make one for Mariah," Saige said.
"Mariah is 12. She doesn't need a build a bear. Hey, I've got a good idea, why don't you go home and rip up some of your old stuffed animals and make your own Build A Bear out of the parts?"
She looked at me like I was a nutcase.
"Well, what are we going to do today?" She really asked me that.
"Um, I don't know. Why don't we clean out the gutters. Or get those toilets so sparkly we could eat off them. Perhaps we should spend the day picking up the back yard from the dogs."
"Mom! Stop it!"

Okay, we have a pool. You have a friend over. Why don't you show me how smart you are.

So we get home and she and Mariah are left to their own devices while I drive Chase to a friends house. When I get back they want to tie dye. This will require me going to the store, buying the supplies and cleaning up after them. Once again, big fat no.
A little later I go to pick up Chase and his friend so they can come swim. By this point my friend Ashley is here. The girls have complained to her they have nothing to do. She tells them to ask me if they can tie dye if they don't involve us. This requires them to walk to the store, buy the dye and do all the clean up. They ask, I agree (knowing that's not how it's going to play out but it will get rid of them for a good half an hour) and off they go.

Fast forward to tie dying time.

They tie dye shirts and socks and even a couple pairs of underwear and some feet. Then Saige says, "Mom can we dye Mickey pink?"
"Although I would like that, it's going to make a huge mess so no." I say.
Saige isn't big on the word no. She will access every situation and find a solution so it still goes her way.
"What about his paws. That would be cute."
"No. I'll have pink paw prints everywhere." I say.
"Well, how bout just his tail then?"
"No." I say, "He sleeps in my bed. He's going to mess up my clean sheets."
"It dries!"
"Okay, fine," I'm a tough nut.
I'm in the kitchen making their dinner and I hear Saige say, "Come here Mickey. Don't be scared." That sends me into convulsive laughter. Poor Mickey. But what are dogs for if not tie dying them pink? Earn your keep dog!

Thank God they had already burned through most of the dye. Thank God they were using squirt bottles instead of a bucket.

It's raining today. I'm really to seeing what they hatch up for today's activities.



Kathy said...

No final picture of the Pink Micken?

The Laughing Idiot said...

Funny story!

Kids are so conniving and mischievous. So did you have to clean up?

I'd love to have you drop by my place: Life Makes Me Laugh

Lula! said...

You are so amazing...and you're such an amazing mother. (And Saige is gorgeous, as always.)

My favorite part of all this:
"...why don't you go home and rip up some of your old stuffed animals and make your own Build A Bear out of the parts..."

GENIUS! are a genius. I dig you so much.

p.s. We've been out of town for a few days--and had company before that. I will respond to your e-mail. One day. I promise. And I really miss you!