Friday, August 1, 2008

Thin the Herd!

After days of nothing to say, now I have a lot. I also feel the pressure anonymous to entertain you. No, not pressure, but I want you to be happy. I have to start with this little bit though, because it annoyed me. I don't know why, but it did.
So my friend Lisa, who is mentioned in here A LOT has a ton of friends. Really, so many. She is the nicest person ever. She goes out of her way to do anything for anybody. She runs charity events, baseball stuff, lunches, brunches, you name it, she does it. It makes me exhausted thinking about it. Anyway, back to her way to many friends. The other day she is having lunch with her friend, lets call her Mary. She invites me to go. I don't know Mary, never met her, but of course I say, "Sure." So we go have lunch, now Mary's nice enough, she is just started yoga and called child's pose, "Child's play," which was cute. She seemed fine. She did go on and on about how strict she was as a parent, how she watched everything her two boys did. How she read there e mails, txts, im's. Listen, whatever, I don't care what anybody else does. Not my deal. I politely listened to her telling us how it's done, ate my sushi and we all went to Lisa's club to pick up our kids.
Now, before I tell the rest of that day I have to jump ahead to where the next day she's takes the time out of her day to call Lisa and leave her a message, "Call me. I have to ask you something." Lisa calls her back and Mary says, "Was that a NOSE RING Amy had on? " "Yes, "Lisa said, "Why?" Mary says, "I just couldn't figure it out. And I saw she had a tattoo too." (Two actually Mary, but who's counting, oh yeah, you) Lisa was annoyed with her because her voice was full of judgement. Lisa hung up and went about her day.
So back to picking up our kids. Lisa. Mary and I sit down at a table outside and wait for the kids to be done swimming. My nine year son comes over and sits down at the table with us. Without any prompt from his pierced, tattooed mother he looks Mary straight in the eyes, puts out his hand and says, "It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Judgemental" (no, he didn't say that) but he did do the rest. As polite and well mannered as he could be (even though, he too, has a pierced ear). Then Mary's teenage son came over. Didn't look at Lisa or I. Didn't say thank you to Lisa for having him at her club, just stood there looking at his shoes. Hmmmm.... I'm sorry Mary, I win. And technically it's not a nose ring, it's a diamond.

7 comments:

Sue Jacquette said...

I love it, Amy. You totally win at Mom!

Anonymous said...

Nose Ring, Tatoos...you SLUT! Oh by the way I have received 10 eMail/txt msgs this morning about how "HOT" the women were that I was with last night. Thank you, Amy, Lisa, Lorna and Sue. You are making me look good!

Anonymous said...

WOW THE HATORADE IS FLOWING.I GUESS US SCHRAMM'S ARE JUST DIFFERENT.Sorry but I KIND OF LIKE THAT WAY!!!!NOT THAT BIG ON TICKY TACKY.

LOVE,

UMM YOU KNOW

Amy with the sleeve. said...

Holy crap! I never think that people still do that. Doesn't everyone have at least one tattoo? Hasn't everyone pierced SOMETHING besides their ear... bellybottons anyone? Wow. I'm a strict parent and go to church on Sunday and homeschool my kids, but I also have my left arm sleeved out and a tattoo covering the right side of my neck. I'm definitly not the most popular mom in the homeschooling circle, but I've never heard anything anyone has said. Uptight people kill me.

HEATHER said...

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANG OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE AMY... YOU'RE TOO DIFFERENT WITH ALL OF YOUR TATS AND PIERCINGS. YOU'RE THE DEVIL! OH THAT'S RIGHT. I'M GOING TO BURN IN HELL TOO! WASN'T I THE ONE WHO TOOK YOU TO GET THAT NOSE PIERCING AND GOT ANOTHER ONE MYSELF??!! WE'RE JUST FREAKS. F*#@ THEM ALL! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!

Lisa Samuel said...

OK, so it was my friend and we called her out, no one really does that to her, she just sits back and judges. I just say quietly to myself, we'll see who wins in the end. Hopefully my kids will learn to appreciate all types of people, I won't have to follow their every move and they don't end up on top of the school roof with an ozzie!

Sarah said...

So.. now knowing "Mary" has a huge stick up her ass. Do you realize HOW much fun you can have tormenting her? Depends on if Lisa still wants to be her friend but.. I see hours and hours of blog posts at her expense.

Ticky Tacky... Marc your funny.
I love that show! I wish it was an hour long.