Tuesday, January 29, 2008

This is a Yoga Story

Okay if you don't do yoga, stop now. This will bore you. I must share it with my yoga friends because it is really funny. So I go to this yoga class tonight, that honestly I didn't expect much out of. It was just that everything worked out so perfectly. It was the first night Chase didn't have to be out in Thorndale for soccer. Right after school both kids got invited to friends houses. I had run today, needed to stretch. I thought, why not? Why not is because this particular studio teaches the same class over and over again. There are no tricks, no music and for some reason the teacher, whoever it may be is always talking about getting rid of your negative thoughts. Which bugs me because I don't really have any negative thoughts. Maybe they're trying to get me to find some, I don't know. Regardless, I wanted to do yoga, I felt like going to a class and this is basically the only game in town. So I went. I was a little late because I spent time chatting with some friends when I dropped Chase off so I went in and put my mat down where there was space. Which happened to be in the front of the room. So the teacher comes in and starts with the See Spot Run routine, warrior ones, warrior twos, blah, blah, blah. Now I do not do anything different than what she was saying but when she said jump to the front of your mat, actually she said, "Spring to the front of your mat." I do, but I go up into handstand. I do it all the time, it's no big deal. Well I guess I threw her off because she gasped and came up to me and said, "Can you not do that?" Huh? Really? You're serious? This is my practice. I paid money. I'm following along to the lame instructions. I thought of my friend Kirsten who would have rolled up her mat and walked out. I wished I had the guts to do that, but I actually like the teacher, she is just a bit clueless. So I just stared at her and continued on. I didn't jump into handstand again, but I did bang out some tricks. Which is my right. God. So anyway, at the end of class she pulls me aside and says, "Amy, I am really sorry. You have an amazing practice. I want you to come to my class. Could you just sit in the back corner of the room. It is to distracting." You know what, why don't I just practice in the bathroom. Maybe that would be better. Luckily the one voicemail I had when I got out was from Kirsten. I called her and we laughed and it made me feel better. Kirsten said, "What did you say when she said that?" I told her, I didn't say anything, there were only two words that were coming to my mind and they were completely inappropriate for a yoga studio.

This is Kirsten she would have never stood for this nonsense.

1 comment:

twist said...

So I guess I should have saved my tongue-in-cheek comments for this space (and, to clarify for your milder-minded, or more pure-minded yogi, readers: not the PG rated tongue-in-cheek). But alas, all I have left is to offer that perhaps JENN-i-fer was trying to supply you with a negative thought so that you could rid yourself of it later. Oh look, I have more after all...please chant the following to Ganesha Sharanam, Sharanam Ganesha: Jenn-i-fer, you're so lame...Handstand's my claim to fame...You cannot stop me now...You boring yoga cow. I'll handstand oh so soon...In my own livingroom...Yoga with my own peeps...Makes you look really cheap.

Thanks for the giggles, baby. You're the best. ; ) K