Traveling with Rachel

Okay, this is kind of an older story but I was telling it today over lunch to my friend Lisa and thought it might be nice to put on here seeing as the last I wrote about Rachel she came off with somewhat a bad rap and she is really funny and a great hair stylist and a fabulous entertaining traveling companion not to mention a wonderful friend. This is what happened, Rachel and I were going to San Francisco together. I was originally going by myself for yoga and Rachel was kind enough to come along and keep me company. What a good friend. So I meet her at the airport and she shows up with this cloth Barnes and Noble bag filled with hardback books. Big, huge hardback books. One of those astrology every day of the year books, some self help rubbish, a big brand new diet book and two others I can't remember what they were. So I see her walk in and I am completely flabbergasted. "What are you doing with all those big books?" I say. Rachel looks at me like she has no idea what I am talking about and says, "What? I didn't want to be bored on the plane." "Do you think we're going to China? Have you never heard of a paperback novel? And don't think I'm carrying that at all." She seems completely unfazed by lugging all them plus her big huge parka (when I told her it was going to be in the 70's in San Fran) her enormous furry boots and her big purse. Whatever. What do I care right? I care because you know at some point this is going to become my responsiblilty. So I just sigh and we head on our way. Rachel is not a complainer at all. I do have to babysit her stuff everytime she has to use the restroom or walk away from the gate but no big deal. She makes a friend on the plane that she tries to get to read one of her books, he was having none of it, in fact, he looked at it and said, "Uh, self help, no thanks." Guess who read the books? No one. Rachel didn't even open one, she did however have about 5 vodka tonics and go to "sleep" while I clutched the armrests through turbulence and made the nice grandmother next to me talk me in off the ledge. Good plan with those books huh?

So, skip to the end of our trip, we are packing up to go home and I say, "You are not carrying all that crap through the airport again." She looked at her bags, which were already stuffed to capacity and said, "I have to, there is nothing I can do with them." "I will make them fit. " I said. "I can not tolerate watching you lug them around for a whole other flight." So we stuffed and crammed them into her luggage. When we got to the airport and were checking in they of course weighed her bags. The woman looked at her and said, "Well this ones a bit heavy. It's 19lbs. over. Do you want to take some stuff out?" Rachel looked at her like she was insane and said, "Please, enlighten me, what would you suggest I do with 19lbs. worth of S%#t in this airport?"