Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I Pushed On the Pencil SO Hard...

This story goes out to my Daddy. Cause I love him. It's an oldie but a goodie. I actually don't enjoy it all that much but my brother Chris loves to reference it. My really old friends know it. It is family folk lore. I think I should put it on here so my kids can know it too. They love a Mom/Dad kid story.

So when I was a kid I had a desk and a chair in my bedroom from the unfinished furniture store. The chair had those spindle things that were in holes in the seat of the chair. One sunny afternoon I was in my room playing on my bar. My bar was one of those chin up bars that was in the doorway. I used it to hang upside down from and do tricks on. Anyway, for some reason that I can not for the life of me remember my brother Chris was in my room sitting at my desk. I think he was doing his homework. As a side note, Mark and Chris were the "smart ones," Scott was the oldest and I was the best looking. I'm kidding. I'm just saying that so Mark will comment. Anyway, good old Chris is banging away at some Algebra. I don't know what I was doing and for some reason my Dad came in my room. My Dad noticed that for some reason the spindles of that chair weren't in the seat of it anymore. The rest went something like this...

"Amy, what happened to your chair?" my Dad asked.
"What?" I said (like I hadn't heard).
"I said, What happened to your chair?" he asked again, this time not quite as friendly.
"Oh, my chair? You want to know what happened to it?"
"YES!" he said.
"Oh, okay," I say, "I didn't hear you. Well, you see, Laura and I were playing on my bar and she swung off and went flying and hit the chair and the back came off of it."
"Amy, that did not happen! I want you to tell me the truth!" he demanded.
"Oh, the truth? Ok, see I didn't understand that part. Okay, well then the truth is, I was sitting at my desk doing my homework (like kiss ass over there ;) ) and I pushed on my pencil sooo hard that when I let go I flew back and the back of the chair came off."

Now he's pissed.
My brother is just shaking his head.

"Damn't Amy, I want the truth."
"Oh, the truth? Okay, now I'll tell you the truth..."

The truth is I have no idea anymore how that chair broke but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a pencil...
Right Jenny? You believe me, right?


Christy said...

So, what really DID happen to your chair? LOL Someone must've set you up...someone who was jealous of all those fancy tricks you could do on the pull-up bar (it wasn't me, I swear.)

Mark said...

I think you should tell the new one (to me) that Chris told me this weekend, the one that ended with Mom saying, "No one ever knows anything around here" in response to an inquiry about some suspicious activity or another. It reminds me of the time I wrote a swear word in green crayon on the wall in an apartment that Scott and I and my mother lived in. When she discovered it, she gathered Scott and I together and generally asked who had written it. We looked at her blankly and denied it. She tried asking us individually, first Scott, who vehemently denied having written it, and then me, who offered a similar denial. My poor Mom, she didn't know who to punish and in her frustration sent us both to bed early. I figure I got off easy that time, but poor Scott, he knew it was me.

Anonymous said...

this is my favorite story. We've added it to the arsenal years ago. I'm so glad you shared it with the blogosphere. Like, whenever we embellish a story, it ALWAys has to begin with, "Well, what happened was..", or it's sister response, "Oh!!! You want the TRUTH! Oh!..." I totally see Saige and Chase adding that little gem to their repetoire. Poor, poor Meredith...to have to contend with such smart asses like you and Chris. No wonder she's so angelic and calm. She's been through a maelstrom of half-truths and outlandish lies!!!
Peas, Luv and Pixies.

Meredith said...

I LOVE this story... but dammit Amy I want the TRUTH - what REALLY happened to the chair?

Lula! said...

You have zero excuses for when your kids break out a story next time they get caught doing something naughty...I hope theirs involves a pencil, too.


Meredith said...

Now I'm really confused. I think if you given the Laura flying off the bar reason we would have bought it (of course it wasn't YOU flying off the bar). But I don't remember you even mentioning that one. All I remember is the "I was leaning so hard on my pencil" one. Which was the most implausible one since we rarely saw you actually sitting at your desk working. That damn bar. Poor Nana walked right into it one day and smacked her head. Maybe that was when the chair broke. Love, Mom

Sue Jacquette said...

I love that you posted a Daddy story. So cute!