Friday, October 17, 2008

Just to Push It Down A Little

So seriously that stink bug picture grosses me out. I did feel obligated to post it since some people probably don't have the joy of seeing all the "Chloe's" all day long. Although, truthfully, I haven't seen Chloe at all today. Not one. Not here, not at Rachel's house, not around little Hannah's neck. Christina almost drank one last night and Jami went to church with one. That kind of reminds me of a children's book. "The Adventures of Chloe the Stinkbug." She could have all sorts of fantastic things happen. She could find a giant peach with magical pests in it or perhaps tour a chocolate factory with a hyped up crack addict. I have a whole slew of original ideas. Maybe Kathy S, could you help me? You seem very versed in rodents, roadkill and unwanted bugs. What do you think? You know, what with the guys being in the car biz, maybe we could help out. Although, I will say, teaching yoga is a gold mine. I think I was able to tip my masseuse last week with money I earned. Go Amy.
Okay, I actually have nothing to say but I am in for the night because I have five hours of yoga tomorrow and I need to be sure I am well rested so I can one up Kirsten. She's so bendy and twisty, I need all the edge I can get. She's apparently silly stringing the neighborhood for some reason. I don't know why. Maybe because her house had ghosts and this is part of the ritual. I'm not sure. She was telling me but I was upside down practicing my one armed handstand so I could only half pay attention. Sorry Twist, you'll have my full attention tomorrow. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Twist, Happy Birthday to you.
Back to the point (as if there ever was one) how many are still there? Let me see a show of hands. So this morning my fancy friend Elizabeth (say it snotty like) who lives in EEstanbuul posted a picture of us on facebook from many many years ago. In a time called, "the 80's." In this photo I have this very odd sausage shaped bang. Disturbing. Sue, Yoga Sue, commented that she "liked my bangs." Kinda bitchy like. I sent her a message immediately instructing her to write something nice on my page to push that picture down a little. So good friend that she is, she did, twice, It's long gone now. Thank you fb friends. So, that's what this post is for, to push that picture of Chloe the stinkbug down a little. Check.

Inappropriate Yoga Class Music 2- Happy Birthday Twist

Let's Get Retarded-Black Eyed Peas
Wasn't Me- Shaggy
I Got A Man-Positive K
Officer-Slightly Stoopid
Sorry, Blame It On Me-Akon
Amen-Kid Rock
Perfect Gentlemen-Wyclef Jean
Classics of Love-Common Rider
Bleeding Love-Leona Lewis
I Am Over It-The Dandy Warhols
You Can Do Better Than Me-Death Cab For Cutie
None Of Your Business-Salt-N-Pepper
I Touch Myself-The Divinyls
Where'd You Go-Fort Minor
PainKiller-Turin Brakes
Your Heart Is An Empty Room-Death Cab for Cutie
I Write Sins Not Tragedies-Panic at the Disco
Murder She Wrote-Chaka Demus
The Chokin' Kind-Joss Stone
Bisexual Chick-John Oszjaka
Leave Me Alone-The Veronicas
I Always Get What I Want-Avril Lavigne
The Art of Losing-American Hi-Fi


Kathy S. said...

A. I won't even dwell about being first again to comment and what it says about my life. But hey, I own it. It's my thing.

B. Happy Birthday, Kirsten!!! Have fun tomorrow. Do a One-Hand-Reverse-Flying-Twisted-Half-Crow-Side-Lotus because it's fun!

C. Congrats on the well deserved and hard earned windfall.

D. Amy, You will not believe it. People have already written books (yes, plural) about these flipping bugs:
"Hey There Stink Bug"
"Stanley the Stink Bug Goes To Camp" (personally, I'm glad we had bats)
"Stink Bug Saves The Day"
and my personal favorite, "Stink Bugs of Economic Importance in America North of Mexico" (For the $99 price tag, the book itself is of economic importance.)

E. Finally, some dude named Kerouac already wrote a book about squirrels called "On The Road."


Amy said...

Kathy, are seeing the glass as half empty because some smart ass named Kerouac beat us to the punch?
Buck up little camper, we've got some writing to do.
Have any of these stink bug books sold? Who published them? Let's get our piece of the pie girl!
Come on, are you with me?

Kathy S. said...

Amy, I am sooo glad that you recognize my qualifications to be an Author. You betcha, I can see books from my kitchen.

Christy said...

"Let's Get Retarded" is my favorite. Teeheehee...and FIVE HOURS of yoga? Seriously? So this is what I need to do to be skinny? I'm weighing my options...

Happy Friday night (I'm stuck home too, see?)Did you get that book yet? OMG--I can't remember if I sent you the name of it again. I am seriously losing it! If I didn't email it to you, it's The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg; if I did email it to you, then I'm an idiot! Either way, I'm sorry!

MarkNYC said...

WTF, Amy? Were you doing crack home alone again on a Friday night? Just kidding, I love the random flow of ideas, but next time work in a little sex or porn or something. Stink bugs are gross. About this stink bug book... huh? I thought you were supposed to be writing some crazy-ass brother-sister book with me. I wonder why David Sedaris and Amy Sedaris never did that, or maybe they did, I'll have to check. Is my vision of our traveling road show based on our book only a pipe dream? We have to do it before we get so old that no one will want to come see a couple of geezers talk about the good old days. I know, we're never getting old, yeah right. Anyway, given that it's just past 6 am on Saturday morning, and I am up writing on your blog, it should be clear that I was home alone last night, too, well after 9:00, anyway. I went out with a friend I hadn't seen in 15 years, which was a much more interesting visit than I expected it to be. Talk about crazy, and NOT the cool kind, this guy had started turning tricks and developed a 4-year heroin habit right after we lost touch in the early 1990s. Maybe that's why we lost touch, our lives clearly going in very different directions. He's cleaned up now, although his drug addiction has had lasting effects; the 90s are apparently a blur to him, so catching up was like reading a history book with every other chapter missing. Speaking of history, Jared is, even as a friend. He went as far as to remove me as a friend from his facebook page a couple of days ago, so I need you to remove him as your friend on facebook page, too. He's trying to be friends again, but given that he turned out to be both the Liar and the Psycho, I've closed all doors. So, remove him, please. It's not bitchy, just a necessary turning of the page. Ok, I gotta get back to bed, I'm still tired. Good luck with the five hours of yoga today. I think I'd rather sit in a bath of stink bugs than be subjected to that torture. I'll be thinking of you as I get up around 11, spend an hour or so at the gym with my hot trainer and then spend the afternoon shopping with a friend. I love free weekend afternoons in the city. By the way, my trainer is not only hot, but also straight, single, and not looking for anything serious, so if any readers are in NYC with some time to kill, I've got a suggestion. Love you.

Amy said...

It's become a little to obvious at this point that somehow we inherited the same crazy gene. So now, I'm thinkin', and this is gonna sound nuts, but is Chris the sane one? Cause it's not you sweetheart, and it's obviously not me, and we all know Scott's voting for the other guy (which puts him in the mentally unstable club) that leaves Christopher. Who knew?
Chris I love you and I always thought you were the most clever in on our family yearbook page a la "The Great Brain" books. But now, seemingly, especially after the above comment, you're the most normal too...

MarkNYC said...

Oh, Chris has his own little freak flag, don't you worry. Scott, too, and not at all because he's a die-hard Republican willing to watch the country swirl further down the toilet bowl, so long as no raving liberal, socialist democrat is elected President. (That just makes him somewhat narrow-minded and stubborn.) In fact, I think everyone has their own little freak flag just begging to be flown, if only its owner could find the courage. The fact that we have found the courage to explore our uniqueness makes us saner than the rest. What's the point of going through life without learning, experiencing and sharing what makes us different from other people? Ugh, how boring it would be to fall in line, to be simply "normal?"

Amy said...

No diggity, no doubt. Play on, Playa.

Simple Answer said...

Had the same hair. I am going to remember the 'push it down trick.' Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant.

Could you load my IPod? I think I'd like that playlist, but what are the odds I'll ever get to uploading it? Sigh.

I'll shoot you an email this week. I'd love a copy of the blacklist but I'm having issues with my email editor that will require some guru help. I thank you in advance for helping me with my entertainment depravation!

Sue Jacquette said...

You're so pretty. And you have great hair. I miss you! Have fun at yoga tomorrow.

Rachel said...

I got to see Amy's handstand yesterday! It was awesome. You girls are so flexible. You are both so wonderful.
Happy Birthday Kirsten!

MarkNYC said...

I Write Sins Not Tragedies? Crazy song and what a messed up video that is. Love their artistry, and the lead vocalist has a really cool voice. I have Nine In The Afternoon, but that's all I knew of this band before. I'll have to explore them a bit more. Thx.

Anonymous said...

when did i transform from boozy friend to fancy friend?

Amy said...

Anonymous, When you became pregnant. You will be my boozer friend in approximately 15 weeks. Right?

Brother Chris said...

Amy, thank God and what a relief that the truth has finally come out. You've no idea the burden I've been lugging around all these years. I knew even when the doctors told me I was mental that it was really me who was totally normal and EVERYONE else in the world that was abso-wacko!

Don't pay any attention to Mark's pie-in-the-sky, arbitrary musings on how we're all a little wild and crazy. Stick to your guns on this one - what's right is right.

I'd keep going but I have to go wash and blow-dry the bricks on my front walkway, I don't like it if leaves fall on them when they're dirty:)

MarkNYC said...

Chris, that gave me a really good chuckle.

Amy said...

Yeah, that made me laugh out loud. Or lol as the computer peeps like to write.
So wait, who does that leave???? Remember Pepper? Pepper was seemingly normal. Except when she rolled in that dead stuff that smelled like shit. That wasn't normal but I think that's the best we've got. Oh well, the crazy trains kinda fun. :)

Lula! said...

OK...the inappropriate yoga playlist is CRACKING me up. Good songs...but that doesn't surprise me, because you have turned me onto lots of good music. And for this I thank you.

The comments between you and your brother are hilarious. Mark needs to blog--seriously!

armband amy said...

2 things. #1 holy blog comments AMY!!! I don't remember there being this many comments since i visited last. maybe because i was ususally one of the first to comment? not sure. #2 you have another friend with an armband tattoo?