I don't usually write anything on weekends but tomorrow is sky diving day (so this might be my last chance). Well it's the day we are signed up to go. I have not let it enter my head at all. Just kept pushing it out....until yesterday. Now it keeps creeping in and honestly I'm scared. I want to do it. I was told by two, not one, but two psychics I won't die, one did however say there was a chance of injury. Hmmmm.....
So I told Marc that I wouldn't be mad at myself if I chickened out. He said, "If you're going in with that attitude then you're not going to do it." So, okay, I will be mad at myself if I chicken out. I will belittle myself for the rest of day! And then I will go to Rachel's birthday party with all my limbs in tact. I'm really going to try. My best. Are you allowed to take valium before jumping out of a plane? Does anyone know? I'm not sure if they look down upon that sort of thing....
......Then a little later.... Saige and I were in the car. She heard me on the phone with my friend telling her tomorrow was the day and I was scared.
When I hung up she said, "Mom, I really think you should do it."
"You do?" I said.
"Yes," she replied.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I think you will like it and if you do I'll do my back flip at gymnastics this week and I'm really scared to do that."
Oh no........ now I'm going to have to. I can't let her down.
"And," she added, "Once you do it once, you're going to want to do it over and over again. That's how it was for me the first time I went on an upside roller coaster. I was crying and so scared and Brigitte was holding my hand and we did it, and then all I wanted to do was ride the upside down ones."
I love her so much. It might have been the push I needed.
One day, she will realize completely what an amazingly wonderful person she is, inside and out. I can't wait.