*When people show you who they are, believe them the first time*
The other day I was on the phone and a seemingly nice girl was telling me why she would be great for a job in Pharmaceutical Sales. I just take down the information. That's my only job. The thing is, why don't some people know when they have said enough? There is NO reason to tell me that 15 years ago you sold medical staples and practiced on dogs. I mean, seriously, stop it. I don't want to hear that. It does not pertain to this job. It is something I would take to my grave if I were you.
Okay, so that hasn't shown me "who you are." I just thought I needed to mention that. As a little word to the wise, should anyone be interviewing for a new job. Stay on point. Don't ramble. Highlight the GOOD things. Try to avoid talking about when you were unkind and maiming animals.
Anyway, so reel it back in (you know that's for you Christy). What was I talking about? Oh yes, the Oprah saying, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." I have really learned this well this past year. I have a habit of loving everyone. I trust everyone. Even when they seem to have some more Machiavellian tendencies (thanks Wep), if their good ones make me laugh and seem nice I can kind of brush those not so good qualities under the table. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm 39. My very dear friend Christina told me when she turned 40 she stopped trying to be such a people pleaser. I get it now. I really do. It's time to be a little more choosy. Not to let people get away with so much. What's that saying? "If it looks like a duck, and it sounds like a duck, it must be a duck." I'm keeping my eyes out for ducks now, I got bitten by one when I was a kid. I should have been more careful after that.
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I'm like that too. I took a quiz once that was all about Machiavellianism. Which is by far the coolest name. But I digress. It means a person's tendency to deceive and manipulate others for personal gain. It's all about this kind of stuff. I scored a 45/50 which is pretty high. Basically I take it to mean I firmly believe everyone is out to screw each other over. Just many years of being on the receiving end. Man am I screwed up.
http://humanlinks.com/personal/power_orientation.htm
I want to like everyone, but there are just some people I term "poison" to my life. You need to stay away or the effects can be devastating. Sad.
You're so much smarter in '09! Love you, honey!
Sue, if our current leader is any indication, we most certainly ARE ALL much smarter in '09. :)
i so want to like and believe everyone, too, even when they repeatedly screw me over. but i decided in my 40th year to stop doing that. and stand up for myself. i just did that at work the other day. sometimes it feels good to stretch and stand tall instead of constantly bending over. know what i mean?
x0
Good one Amy. BUT, I have to say, if my BFF's had dropped me the first time I had a gross human moment and acted like an ass or did something awful, I'd be pretty lonely. We all manipulate whether we see it or not. I think we like to tell ourselves that what WE'RE doing is from kindness, but if we were to sit in a therapist chair, I'm sure we could find the root of alot of the things we do and realtionships we have are for self gain of some sort. We're human, and screwed up. All of us. But I don't have a habit of having ducks for friends. Too much drama! I'm terrible, but I know it! LOL!
Being Forty-somthingorothernotthatagematters, I have less of a need to please others simply to gain their approval, like Christina said. It just takes too much of my energy and self-esteem. I also take actions by others a lot less personally. Don't return my phone call, no biggie - your toilet probably overflowed. Grumpy mood - hey, I've been there. Etc. The one thing I won't accept is intentional rudeness. There is no place for this. I often quote Julie Andrews in Princess Diaries to my kids "Manners matter." They do. Be polite to a stranger and watch what happens. Kindness breeds kindness.
As per usual I am loving this post and digging how deep you're getting...then you hit me with the duck remark at the very end and I crack up laughing.
This is why I love you in obscene ways. For real.
As I've always said, "If it looks like shit, and it smells like shit, it's probably a turd." I'm a strong believer in first impressions, and have no problems staying away from those that are evil. Some people try to find the good in all, but I believe that some people are just "assholes" no matter how you look at it. That's it. Just evil and nasty, and unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it.
By the way, love the new page lay-out.
Oh, those nasty evil people find great happiness in bringing you and everyone else around them down because deep down inside they are miserable souls. So the moral to my comment is avoid them at all costs...like the plague. They suck, and they'll suck the life out of you and will enjoy every moment of it. (Sick bastards)
Surround yourself with good people. There's plenty of us out there. We're all a little screwed up in our own way, but there's a definite difference between the two. The impact the two have on your life is huge.
my mom didn't impart a lot of advice on me as a kid, but she always told me to "be myself"
these past couple years i'm trying, but it is hard since "myself" has changed radically since becoming a mom.
i'm starting to realize that not only does it benefit ME to be myself, but it benefits other people too. who woulda thought?
Ooooooh! I like this piece of chocolate :)
Have I told you how much I LOVE the page?
I feel exactly the same...Life is short. I choose to spend my time with people who make me happy.
Our cable/internet was out almost all day yesterday, so I'm sorry I missed this--especially my favorite part, dedicated to me :)
1) That woman was MEAN, and mean people suck
2) You are one of the smartest people I know--that is totally serious...you are teaching me things...I think you're sort of like my Oprah with a blog instaed of a tv show...
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