The Liar and The Psycho

Okay this is a true story. I am not using real names to protect the not so innocent. It is so insane though I thought some of you might enjoy it. Okay, so I have this friend. Let's call her Marcy. Marcy is dating Jake. They have been dating for a few months. Jake has the tendency to be somewhat of a liar. He's not even a good liar. He's a stupid liar. Marcy catches him in every lie he tells, he's such an idiot about it. Besides that he's fun and cute and she really likes him. Oh, except for this one other annoying quality, whenever they get in an argument he up and leaves. All the time, from bars, their apartments, wherever. He just goes. It drives her crazy. Which I think is totally understandable. Anyway, a couple nights ago he is at her apartment and they get in an argument. He doesn't feel like dealing with it so he decides he is going to leave. He gets up to get his stuff, Marcy sees his wallet on the table and thinks, "he's not leaving without this." so she snags it, goes in the bathroom and throws it under the bathroom sink. Yes, it's true. Crazy, but true. Meanwhile Jake is getting his coat on and he realizes he's got no wallet. Hmmm? Where could that be? So he starts looking for it. It's a studio apartment so really there aren't that many places it could be. He starts to panic. "Marcy, can you help me find my wallet?" "What, so you can leave? No. I'm not helping you." she says. "Please." he begs. He's getting nervous. So, nice girl that she is says she'll help him. Yes, help him find the wallet she hid. They look everywhere, good quality time together, in the kitchen, under the couch, in the bedroom. Everywhere that is except under the bathroom sink, because really, why would a wallet be there? Jake is really losing it now. He decides they should go look down in the room where the garbage shoot goes to. I kid you not, Marcy watches him sift through other peoples trash. Just watches as he pulls out bag after bag looking for hers. Finally, mercifully, she says, "Let's just look one more time upstairs." So they go back up and look again. This is starting to bore her so she has decides she needs to get the wallet someplace he will find it that won't look like she took it. She chooses the laundry bag, something about it getting mixed up with the placemats they used at dinner, which really, I found to be one of the most ridiculous parts to this story, how could a wallet get mixed up with a placemat? I don't get it. It's not a big apartment though so it's not easy to do this while he is not looking. She does manage to get it in there while he is frantically searching under the salt shaker. Somehow she gets him to go through it and he finds it. Hip hip hooray the case of the missing wallet has been solved by Encyclopedia Brown. Jake is so happy that Marcy was so kind to help him look that he decides to stay. Can you say sucker? Or psycho? Can't decide who's worse. I say Jake, I love Marcy, crazy as she is.