Saturday, September 6, 2008

I Should Listen More

I have been given some brilliant advice in the past about what to do about my "problem" children, a.k.a. "those with fur." I just don't listen.
This is a play by play
Friday night and Marc takes Chase to his race. Saige goes with Lisa and her kids to a football game. I go out to dinner with friends.
It's a lovely dinner.
When we're getting ready to leave I check my phone. Missed calls. A txt from Saige saying, "I think I want to come home."
(Meanwhile back at home)
Marc and Chase pull up in the driveway, they had a good but trying night. There were some mechanical problems with Chase's go kart. It's been a long week for Marc. They're tired. Marc looks at Chase and says, "Don't you love to be home buddy." Chase shakes his sweet little head yes. Marc get's out of the car and starts to get a few things, Chase goes in through the garage, opens the mudroom door. Closes it. He says to Marc, "You don't even want to go in there."

So at this point, I'm looking at my phone, deciding whether to txt Saige or call Lisa and my phone rings. It's Marc with a voice of doom on. "If you walked in house right now you would have a nervous breakdown." I was so confused, it was house cleaning day. Which is one of my happy days. Everything is as close to perfect as it can be. "Why? What's wrong?" Even as I ask it I feel like just hanging up the phone. Do I really want to know? It's like when something smells bad and you say, "Hey, smell this." No one wants to smell and I didn't want to know what had happened that was going to push me over that extremely fine wire I walk on to the other side called crazy.
He said, "Lucy's done the worst thing she's ever done." Man, that can't be good. Lucy just ate a full chicken carcass the other night. A couple Saturdays ago she shredded an entire box of shredded wheat all over my kitchen, like a bomb had hit. Previous to that she has snarfed down a box of Lucky Charms and puked up green and yellow all over my freshly cleaned carpets. What now? Seriously, what else can she do? He starts to explain but it's loud and I can't hear him and Saige is calling through on the other line. I go pick up Saige. I'm on the phone with Lisa in the car crying the blues about my dogs. She offers to poison them for me. I briefly consider it. Pick up Saige. Go home.
We walk in and can see something has gone on, we're just not sure what. Although the place has been cleaned it looks like CSI was here dusting for prints. There is an odd powder in some strange places. We go upstairs and get the rundown. Apparently she had gotten a box of something along the lines of Bisquick and dragged it all through the downstairs. Then she pulled out every plastic container in the bottom cabinet and tossed those around. She and Mickey stepped in the Bisquick/powder type stuff and pranced around until it looked like it had snowed.
I was wishing she had just tossed the trash like on a normal night, back in the good old days.

9 comments:

Simple Answer said...

I am soooooo sorry that happened to you! But is there a teeny part in you that wishes you'd had a nanny cam and could've seen the insanity?

Anonymous said...

Ok just so everyone can have the corect mental picture.Go back to your Brady bunch years you know the Bobby and too much soap in the washing machine episode.REMOVE SUDS INSERT BISQUICK.There you have it .


Love
Me

Anonymous said...

omg. amy! i started a blogspot of my own (the address is on my flickr profile page) but can see that i'll never quite live up to the fun level of yours!!!! so sorry about the doggies, but you have to admit...
this is some funny sh#&!^t!!

~jami

Anonymous said...

Good Lord Amy, why don't you just cut bait already? Take them out to "your uncle's farm" and be done with it. The family will be all the better for it. Although, your rants on the blog will not pack quite the same hilarious punch...
Love,
Jen

Amy said...

SA- Seriously after the initial shock, that's what we said, we needed one of those nanny cams. Marc was kicking himself for not taking a picture.

Me- Good visual.

Jami- I am beyond psyched you are doing a blog.I love your pictures and writing on flickr.

Jen, dude, if you can drive them, I won't feel quite so guilty.

Anonymous said...

Juno I love Lucy. That's my girl. All I can say is that she must have been upset about something. Now if it had been, um, say, Mickey, I'd say, you should give that dog to rachel when she's not looking and bolt.

Paris

La la la la

Lisa Samuel said...

We just learned that on craig's list you can post things you want to get rid of--- Lucy is getting her own post soon. Also as previously suggested, I think she deserves her own little house outside! She'll be fine.

Tiffany said...

I think I would have killed the dog. I love how Chase came out with a warning.

You'll be finding "poweder" for days.

Christy said...

I can't believe I missed this post (I was offline most of the weekend.) I am SO sorry, but it really is funny--mostly b/c it didn't happen to me. They took the plastice containers out and threw them around? Seriously? You are making me grateful that I have MY dogs and not yours (which is not easy, I assure you.) Oh, I think we are kindred spirits. You poor, poor woman! :)