Thursday, September 25, 2008

It's Like A Mine Field

I like Fall. I do, a lot. I used to be a strictly late Spring and Summer person. I hate any kind of cold weather. As I get older I do appreciate the change of the seasons more. I think Fall is fun. Schools back in, routines that I couldn't wait to end at the end of Spring, I'm now looking forward to starting again. The weather gets cooler. The air conditioner (will eventually) go off. Trees are so pretty. I love Halloween. Different set of clothes come out. Kids go pumpkin picking. Nights are cooler. Days get a little shorter, but that's okay. Soccer games are back on. The list goes on and on.
There is one thing I totally hate about Fall. It's gonna sound a little crazy (I'm not sure if it's gonna be the cool kind). Now, I don't know if this happens everywhere, but around here it seems the squirrels have a death wish. I'm not even kidding. Marc calls them the kamikaze squirrels. There is not a road I drive down that doesn't have a squirrel carcass or two this time of year. I know why too, I'm smart like that. You can tell me if I'm wrong Science teacher Twist. They are just insanely storing up food for winter. Trying to hoard all the little acorns or nuts or whatever it is they seem to be gathering. I think they are on a squirrel type Easter egg hunt and they are trying to get the treats before the others get to them and get them home. Cause I see them running around all jacked up like they've injected three non fat expressos in the last ten minutes. They've always got something in their little squirrel fingers and all of the sudden BAM, out goes another one. Flattened to the road. Here's the other odd thing, we are of mixed religion here, I was brought up Presbyterian, Marc's mom is Jewish, his dad is Catholic, we are kind of mutts of the religious world, which is fine, for this post it neither here nor there except whenever I see any dead animal on the road I have the habit of making the cross sign (and I don't do it correctly either) but I have been doing it for as long as I can remember, I mean years and years. I feel so sorry for dead animals on the road, it breaks my heart. Their little animal families waiting for them and they never come home. Somehow, years ago, I guess I thought I was giving them some sort of religious ceremony. And I am nothing if not a creature of habit. Now my kids have a slight tendency to do it to. So if you see a silver car full of fair haired, loudly singing people racing by and making crazy hand signals you will know, my friends, there is dead animal somewhere.
After the past couple posts I have an idea. Kathy, maybe, if you didn't mind, could you clean them up around here and just bring them in to Mr. T. Science fame, you said he liked that kind of stuff. Just if you have time......... :)

13 comments:

Kathy Steinmetz said...

As a fellow Presby. with Jewish ancestory, I also say a little prayer when I see a fuzzy-wuzzy-wuz-no-more on the road. So sad, but I never thought of the little families back home - thanks for adding that sentiment.

I will be sure to send the kids out on the roads with their red wagon to collect "science goodies" while I fire up the grill. It will make dinner planning soooo much easier.

And Clays.....Dang, why didn't I think of that?!!

Lula! said...

Look at you...crossing yourself over dead squirrels. That's so sweet and tender. I will picture you doing this for a long time...

We don't have a lot of squirrels here. What we do have are dead skunk and groundhogs...that get left on the side of the road, bloating and stinking and yucking up the place. Ew. They get no love from me.

Simple Answer said...

That's funny because I've adopted your suggestion and I kiss my hand and touch the plane when I board. Did it the last two international flights - worked out pretty nice for me.

I'm not sure I'll adopt this one though...I generally just try to close my eyes...

Name of infinite wisdom said...

I've almost killed us all, several times, trying to avoid the cracked out squirrels. I think I've only hit one in my whole life. I'm loving fall myself this year. It was in the 50's here last night! Loving it!!

twist said...

Let's say you see 3 dead squirrels. Do you cross yourself top to bottom, top to bottom, top to bottom, then side to side, side to side, side to side to save time? Because THAT could be the problem: your shortcut nullifies the prayer, pisses off the gods, and WHAM...another road pizza. Just a thought...I don't who would do something like that.

Amy said...

Kathy- I like the dinner option. You are so thinking outside the box.

Leigh Ann-Thanks, aww, dead skunks? Smelly.

SA- I'm so glad you are kissing the plane! It's worked for me for a long time. Do you think it will help me sky diving? Or will I have to kiss the air? I'm not sure. It needs further thought.

Other Amy- I love when you come back and to see you haven't bit it trying to save squirrels. When it's your life or theirs, save yourself girl!

Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten, Are you mocking my Om Om Om Nah Nah Nah Shivaya Shivaya Shivaya. Don't you think I learned my lesson? Listen, I give each dead carcass their very own cross. I only short cut my mala beads. What do you take me for? I'm taking Bryns class tomorrow, I'll tell her you said hi. LY

Christy said...

I KNOW! I was thinking the same thing the other day--the squirrels have gone ballistic! My husband makes fun of me b/c I'll just about run our Yukon into a tree to avoid hitting them b/c I feel so bad!

As for the cross-sign, that's totally cute. Do what works, you know?

cIII said...

We have several Big Walnut Trees in our Backyard and those little fuckers lay (lie?) in wait for me to come out to have a Smoke and proceed to shake the Trees, causing Walnuts to Rain down, ala Captain Kangaroo and the Ping-Pong Balls.
I'm thinking of cleaning the Rifle.

Amy said...

Christy, I'm so glad everyone thinks my bizarre habit is cute and not just weird. Or maybe you do and you're being kind, either way, thanks.

clll-Ok, once again you just made me laugh. So your not swerving out of the way to miss the little rodents. You are actually looking to kill them? Because they are trying to pelt you in the head? See our squirrels are way to selfish, they wouldn't waste a walnut on our heads, they just want to cause accidents, maybe I should get a gun. Now there's a comforting thought.

Lisa Samuel said...

Hey everybody, watch out for the deer too-- Christina's friend was driving her neighbors car on loaner, some fancy mercedes and she hit a deer. Needless to say, they are no longer friends. she's no doubt wishing she had hit a squirrel!!!

Ms Picket To You said...

OMG. I thought it was only our squirrels that seems to have been doing lines of crack lately. One almost came in the house. I screamed. I think the neighbor thinks I have a lovah over here.

Brother Chris said...

Does it sver concern you Amy that if the squirrels were a little bigger that they might try collecting Schramms and storing them for the winter? They do love their NUTS.

christina Ludin said...

I have been noticing all the squirrels too. They are working so hard just trying to get a nut. They I realized we are like squirrels, working, working working and then oneday splat. So remember take time out to enjoy!