"Bring It Yo"-said the Evil Elf

Wednesday night was The Bates Motel night. It's this scary place with a haunted hayride and a haunted house and a haunted corn maze. Lots of haunted things..... That kind of stuff scares me. A few years ago Marc and I took the kids to a haunted house and Chase and I left early, they had to let us out the back door. It was scary. I have successfully avoided such places.......until now. Lisa decided we should take the kids. Fine! She does all the leg work. Goes online, orders us up some VIP tickets so there is no waiting in line. Let me tell you, worth every cent. Even on a weeknight this place is packed. Packed with family with screaming kids, smart ass kids (like ours) drunk teenagers, the whole nine yards. For a mere thirty extra dollars a ticket we don't have to deal with any of that. We just march all 8 of us up to the front of the line and go first. Yes! (said exactly like the guitar player in Almost Famous says when asked if he wants to see the kid feed his snake a rat). Yes! Sign me up. So we go on the hayride first. I have the stupid position of the very back of the cart thing. This is where all the scary people jump on and scare you. You know what I did? I just didn't look at them. No engaging. I am so good at that to begin with, it really came in handy. Next was the haunted corn maze. This was kinda scary, Lisa held my hand the whole time. She had Benny (her 7 yr. old) in her other hand. He kept yelling, "Bring it Yo!" I, once again, just kept my eyes closed. Ben was getting irritated with us because we weren't moving fast enough for him. He was yelling at us. I swear he was scarier than the wolf guy that was kinda heavy breathing in my ear. Scary, but somehow...interesting. :) Just kidding baby. . So we went by this little crazy looking mean man called the evil elf. So jokingly, I referred to Ben as the evil elf, I got yelled at, AGAIN. Then we went over this bridge and this old woman was sitting there yelling out insults, she said to Chase (my precious angel), "Were you the last one in your family to be born without a tail?" For some reason this threw Lisa and I into convulsive laughter. Ben got mad again! He was losing patience. I will tell you (cause there is small chance of Saige reading this until many years from now, which is really the whole point of this to begin with) that her and Adam (Lisa's 12 yr. old) were quite the couple. He had his arm around her. At one point Lisa looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, are they on a date?" Eyes closed, Trudge forward. Last stop haunted house. This was supposed to be the scariest part of it. I held on to Lisa's hand and started in. It wasn't that bad. The hayride was scarier. At one point this big clown came out and Lisa made a funny comment and it made me laugh so hard that I couldn't be scared at all anymore. I called Marc as soon as we were done to tell him how I made it through. He was so proud of me. Now the next Halloween event is my pick. It's face painting and pumpkin picking. That's not scary at all.