Sex and the City, Sushi and Squirrels

Sex and the City opened last night. We were all so excited to go see it. Kinda goofy, but come on, we watched that show and loved it for years. So Christina, Lisa, Lena, MaryPat and I went to see it. It was cute. Really, exactly what you would expect out of it. A little corny. Everyone looked a little older. At one point Samantha was fat. Total gut, that I hadn't seen coming. Of course the clothes were awesome. It was pretty predictable. No big twists. Cute, fun to watch. That's it. After that we went down to Philadelphia to meet some friends at Table 31.
I am not going to mention specific names but on the way in to the restaurant people were still getting ready. One person put a hairpiece in their hair. I, being a good friend, begged her not to. Really, I had no problem saying, "It looks ridiculous." I was actually familiar with this particular hair pet because last summer she and I went up to this yoga thing in Rhinebeck NY. One day we were going to Woodstock. We were getting ready, I came out in my usual jean shorts, tank top, hair in a ponytail. She had on gold gladiator sandals, white and gold shorts, a huge gold belt and a white tank with rhinestones and gold on it and the hairpiece, which looks like this long curly ponytail. She said to me, "Amy, does this look alright?" I was actually in a little bit of shock, I mean, again, we were going to Woodstock. I tell her the truth, "Baby, it's so wrong, it's right. You've come full circle." I mean, what do I care what she wears? As long as she's happy right? But I do feel if my friend flat out asks me what I think of something, I should be honest. The hairpiece, frankly, scares me. And, she is beautiful without it. Anyway, both Christina and I said, "Don't wear it. Take it off." Lisa, always being the "nice" one, said, "Oh, leave her alone, if she wants to wear it. You're being mean. Let her." OOOKkkkaaayyyyy. It's out of my hands.

So everything is going smoothly, at first. Christina and I were starved. We ordered the most delicious tuna rolls and this Margarita pizza. We pretty much ignored everyone else as we ate, and guess what? It was dinner and a show with what happened next. Lisa referred to it as the train wreck. So we were at a group of tables across from the bar. There was this odd looking man sitting at the bar who seemed to be staring at our friend. It was kinda creepy. The hairpiece friend walks over and hears talk of this, she marches herself right up to the bar and says, "Why are you staring?" I don't know what he said to her but she comes back to the table and says to the friend he had been staring at, "He wasn't staring at you, he was staring at me." Was that necessary? So, the stared at friend says, "Well at least I don't have a dead squirrel on my head." Uh oh. This is going to turn ugly fast. Hairpiece friend says something back that I can't type on here, but it made Lisa, Christina and I look at each other and cringe. Lisa was mouthing the words to me, "Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy make her stop. Make her stop.Amy Amy Amy." I so know where this is going, it's only going to get worse. So people are angry. Hairpiece friend stomps off, makes a detour at weird guy sitting at the bar and whispers something to him, I have no idea what. I, of course, have to follow, because I have seen this little scenario before, I'm pretty much anti-drama and I don't need her lost in Philadelphia alone. So I go to talk to her, I actually get yelled at. Me. Me, who warned her about the hair, me who was minding my own business happily eating my sushi. At this point weird bar guy is lurking around us. My friend stands up, points her finger at him and says in the loudest, meanest voice, "You have to leave. Now." Oh God. He practically ran out of there. I seriously think I saw him tuck his tail between his legs as he was bolting out the door. By the time I talk her in off the ledge our other friend has left. Which makes me sad because she is funny, we wanted to hang for a while. Luckily Steve/Mitch was there. Another Kid Rock fan, so of course, there wasn't enough time in the night left to get through our mutual love of him.
Let me warn you, if we ever go out together and you put on a hairpiece, I'm going to be a bitch about it. I have seen where this can go and it ain't pretty.

Monkeys with No Fear

The last two weeks have been ropes course at the kids school. I go and help for both of them. It's a fun day. It's very interesting to see how different kids act on the different climbs. The ones who scoot up like monkeys, the ones who try their very hardest, sweating and huffing and puffing and can only make it up a little bit and the very few who kind of give it a try and decide it's to hard and come down. Sometimes the ones you expect to be afraid the very least get scared. These courses are high up there and some of them are very difficult to climb. A lot of times the ones who get scared end up trying again after they have done everything else and making it to the top. Both Saige and Chase were scooters. Not a care in the world. Just boogied on up there. There is one that the 4th graders have that the 3rd graders don't and it looks scary. They have to climb up a ladder and go across a rope bridge then climb up a telephone pool and walk across another horizontal telephone pole way up in the air. They are harnessed in but there is nothing for them to hold on to. It takes guts. Saige banged it out. I was really proud of her. It reminded me of a couple years ago when I got the brilliant idea of going to a flying trapeze class with my brother Mark. The whole time before Mark kept questioning me, "Is this a good idea?" I kept assuring him it was. That is until I started to climb the rickety ladder to get up to the trapeze. It was at that point that I wondered what was wrong with me. Why would I do this? I got to the top and was fixated on the ground below. The helper guy kept saying, "Don't worry about down Amy. Just look up." So I did. I got through it. I did it like four times. The basic swing out, hook your knees, swing hanging upside down and flip down. My brother on the other hand became the star of the class. What a show off he was (are you reading this Mark?) what with his "catches." It's a good thing I had kicked his butt at a yoga class right before or I might have felt bad about myself. Cause we're not competitive at all. Not even a little bit. Neither are Saige and Chase.

The "Burbs" Party-Happy Birthday Dave!

So we did seemingly "normal" stuff too. We shoot for this a lot. To appear "normal." It's not easy, but we can pull it off sometimes. Like for instance, I planted lots of flowers. Marc did outside stuff too, which really, is unheard of. He is the king of telling me to, "Call someone and hire them to do it." He was out there by the pool though working away on Sunday.
On Monday we had a party, sure there were no football players, although I do believe Kirsten ran track in high school. Does that count? I shocked Lisa by the amount of effort I put into it, all by myself, did not even call Bruce the caterer. Lisa knows to me, making dinner is a chore, so when she showed up and saw this....

she almost fell off her chair.
So it was a lot like any other Memorial day party, the kids swam, played, ate. The adults ate, drank and rehashed the weekend. It was fun. Normal.
John and my gorgeous fairy God child.




Happy Birthday Dr. D.


Yes and today is Dave's birthday so Lisa brought him the hamburgler cake. That's fun, right? Even if the Genardis guy made it. It's still cool.

Cabernet, Cosmos and Coppertone tans......

Okay, I'm really tired. It's been a long weekend. It's been fun though. I'm thinking I'm gonna do it in pieces. Basically I don't think anyone has seen the inside of our house since Friday night. I know it's been since last week since I have seen the laundry room. Scary. It was so gorgeous though, right? Well, at least if you live here. Everyday was spent by the pool, tons of kids, more meals to think of than I care to remember but lots of laughing and tanning.


Okay, so Saturday night Marc, Lisa, Dave and I went to this really cool house party. It was in this killer house in society hill. Really the place was insane. The party was complete with a DJ, the food catered by Raw, ex football players, hot trainers, skilled bartenders and really a good time had by all. There were quite a few highlights, but some of my favorites were: Dr. Dave and some chick totally dirty dancing on the dance floor. they were so getting their groove on. The best birthday present he could have asked for. Another was when the popo (Chase's word) came cause the music was to loud. Once again, how old am I? Am I really still going to parties that are getting busted? The very best part of the "noise violation" issue was when the homeowner became completely belligerent with Mitch the policeman. He was asking for her name and she just flat out refused to give it to him. She kept saying, "It's public record. You figure it out." How great is that? I didn't even know that was an option. Had I, high school might have been a lot different. Maybe those cops that busted our parties when our parents were away (sorry Mom) would have gotten bored and not followed up. My brother wouldn't have had to spend so many hours in the lawn chair by the mailbox waiting for our citations to come. Anyway, back to the present. The police left, the party continued on. Lisa and I met three new best friends. We love them. Marc and Dave don't even mind our new male friends. Lisa went so far as to invite them to be her friends on facebook. I believe if there was such a thing she would be gunning for facebook prom queen. So all in all a very interesting night. The best part was at the end when the ex Eagles player ran back in to get his covered cake dish. Really, he made the chocolate cake. How fun is that?

Summers Pretty Much Here

How do I know this? Because we have started the collection of pool towels lying all over the place. I know, just a side effect of having kids and a pool. It's all good. Last night was the first time the kids got to swim. It needs to be a bit warmer though. From the kitchen I could hear the squeals and screams of Saige and her friends out there having a blast. This is why I love the pool. It can be a hassle at times, but the benefits so much outweigh the problems, at least to me. Especially when you have kids. There's always something to do. I love this time of year. Summer is just around the corner. Everything is green and new. The cushions go out on the furniture outside. It's perfectly acceptable to sit out there with friends on a school night and have a cocktail. It's the little things, right?

The Arctic Vortex

This is what my friend Lisa told me was the reason that it was so cold for the past week. She said we were right in the middle of an arctic vortex. I totally don't know what that means but I think it sounds good. I asked her what it meant, she told me she saw it on the news. And I was like, "Yeah, but what does it mean?" I think she gave me a Chase like grumble. I do. So, I took a page out of her book and told Marc that. It sounds smart. I will admit that I googled it and then lost interest when there were all the maps and graphs on the page (can you say ADD?). But guess what? It appears that we are out of the old arctic vortex because the sun is shining today! There doesn't seem to be any dark gray ominous clouds in the distant so like this whole week it's always on the verge of freezing. Which is perfect heading into Memorial Day weekend. It should be a really fun weekend. MarK, my brother, is supposed to come visit and Rachel and Hannah. We have parties to go to. I hope there is something fit to post on here. Stay tuned.

My Crackberry

So I had a regular flip phone for a long time. It was fine. It was pink. I liked it. I was really good at txting on it. I knew how to use the camera. I was used to the ring, although it wasn't my favorite where the techno voice says, "Hello Moto." and I used to pretend it was saying "Hello Model." and it made me smile every time. Not only smile but me and whoever was with me, Saige or Rachel or even Chase would have to repeat, "Hello Model." Marc, lovin' a gadget kept trying to get me to get the blackberry. I resisted, seemed like to much trouble. Then he wanted me to get an I phone. I am way to attached to my I pods already. I couldn't possibly throw another one in the mix. Plus, I don't like the I phone. Too big. For some reason though a couple weeks ago I was thinking that I didn't like my phone anymore. It was beat. That was all Marc needed to hear. He doesn't care my plans not up until next February. He couldn't go out and get me the pink blackberry quick enough. Can I just say, I am addicted to it. It's sad really. The funny part is the picture on the cover is who else, but Mickey. The last screen saver I had on my flip phone Rachel had sent me and it was one of those Valentines candy hearts that said " Iove you" except there were a couple choice words in with it. I loved it but never wanted the kids to see my phone. Now, because Mickey was available when I felt like taking the picture, he gets to be my screen saver. A constant reminder of my love for him. Or an albatross, whichever. I love the crackberry so much, it spells out words and it knows how I talk, or words I use a lot. At first it was very resistant to a couple but I've trained it right. To bad Mickey's not as smart as my phone. I'd be golden.
Anyway, it started me thinking. What do I love so much or use so much that going through a day without it would be hard. So my top five are: my crackberry, my i pod, my sneakers, my coffee and my blender. No matter where I am going these things (except the coffee, cause you can always get that) go with me. I'm not kidding about the blender either. Everyone who has ever traveled with me and wakes up later than me will hear me getting ice and using that blender early in the morning. They laugh, perhaps tease me, I'll tell you what though, they always want a shake. I was actually a little nervous thinking yesterday that this summer when I am in Turkey and Greece I won't have my precious crackberry. Is that not pathetic? I know. Mom, don't roll your eyes. It's called addiction, it's a disease. Pity me. Marc was quick to assure me I could take Saige's I phone cause it is AT & T and will work anywhere if you call and set it up beforehand. Phew. That was close.

Marc, Help!

I think the dogs have a conspiracy to drive me completely over the edge. Granted, you wouldn't need much gas, it's not far from here, but I feel like they are pushing me in that direction. So if it wasn't bad enough that last night when I got home Lucy had completely tossed the trash, mind you, the cabinet was supposedly rigged to not be opened (she's smarter than that though) she made a huge mess. It was really fun to come into. That was the first thing. That's nothing to what happened this morning. I went out, came home and let the dogs in. I was carrying stuff in so I didn't really see how it went down but all of the sudden I looked over at Mickey and he was staring down at something on the rug that I swear to God was the fur off a raccoon. I'm not even kidding. He seemed to be playing with it. Like it was one of his "babies". I was glad he didn't start doing his special dance with it. He did look a little confused. Come on, give me a break. I shooed him outside. I got a ton of paper towels (sorry trees) and with my eyes closed picked up the disgusting animal fur and threw it away. Hey, maybe Lucy will dig that out later. No, I was smart and put it in the outside trash in the garage. What else did you say I should put out in the garage Mark????

Sketchy Parenting

A very good point was made to me that as soon as I put another picture on flickr (though, admittedly I have been lazy about that,) but as soon as I do, Kid and his abs will be gone and then this post won't make as much sense. So for the greater good I have posted yet another Kid Rock picture. Then, I have two more things to say about him and I will shut up for a while.
If you have looked at that picture on my flickr then you might know the first one, but here it is. So I posted that picture up on flickr and Saige, my ten year old walks up behind me and says, "Oh, that's Kid Rock?" I say, "Yeah, that's him." She got the funniest look on her face and goes, "Well, he's, he's......" she couldn't quite get out what she wanted to say. I said, "He's hot, baby. Is that what you mean?" She got this big grin on her face and her cheeks turned a little red as she shook her head yes. (I'm sorry Marc, it's true, Saige likes Kid Rock, don't mention it to her.) Oh dear. Right?
The second is yesterday morning we were in the car at the bus stop. I said to them, "What do you want to hear?" Chase chimes in right away with, "She treats me better." Which is, what else? A Kid Rock song called Half Your Age, which I believe he wrote about Pamela Anderson and it's just saying he's got a new girlfriend and she's half your age and twice as hot. It's a funny song.... So I say to Chase, "That's a lovely song for a nine year old to request." Chase, always having an answer says, "Well, what about a seven year old always wanting to hear Amen?" He was referring to Lisa's son Ben, who is seven and yes, Amen is his favorite song. It was his constant request when we were in Florida with them.


No goofy kid music in the car with me. Sorry. So as Chase is belting out the words, "She's doesn't care about the strippers dancin' at my shows..." I say, "Let's just chalk it up to bad parenting. Put it on your list to tell your shrink about when you get older."

Conflict Manager

There is something in the kids' school that you can become in fourth grade called "Conflict Manager." A conflict manager is chosen by your class at the end of the third grade year and they do a little training in the summer and then in fourth grade at recess when the younger kids have a problem the CM's step in and try to help them solve it. How cute is that? Last year Saige got picked, which was no surprise. She loves it. She's funny too, she comes home with little stories about the first graders and what they were arguing about. It's entertaining. Well, this year Chase got to be one. He was so excited. In actuality he told me that it was his buddy Jake that got chosen but Jake (I think smartly) didn't feel like it so Chase was next in line to the throne. You gotta love Jake. "Nah, not so much." Anyway, Chase is really happy about this. The only confusing part to me is this... both my kids are conflict managers but they can't seem to not fight themselves. Hmmm...

They (really more Chase than Saige, but they both have them) have been collecting these things called crazy bones. They are these little plastic bones you get at the 5 Below store. I don't know if there is a game that goes with them. I have no idea what the purpose is, they just carry them around in big plastic bags. Although I believe they were banned from school. Chase won't quite give me a straight answer on that. Anyway, the other day in the car Chase was negotiating with Saige for her to just give all her crazy bones to him because she doesn't really want them. He just going for the flat out, "You hand 'em over." Saige was trying to work a deal, she said,"Fine, you can have them but you have to be nice to me on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday." I was pretending I wasn't listening but I looked in the rear view mirror and I see Chase shake his head no and say, "I don't really want 'em." Nice. Conflict manager? Good luck first graders.

Cocoa Pebbles

If there is one thing I love it's self sufficiency. Really, I remember when I would come downstairs or in from outside, or where ever and a kid or two would be staring at me and saying, "I'm hungry." Okay, well, have at it. Fruit, make a sandwich, have a bowl of cereal, make a hot dog, the choices are endless. I remember as a kid, their age constantly whipping up grilled cheeses or bagels or a grabbing a yogurt. Maybe it's that my culinary skills are so spot on they don't want to chance not loving it as much, um... wrong. It's just I always do it. Lately though they have really come into their own. I'll come down and Saige will be making pb&j's for her friends, or Chase will have made toast and bacon. I love that.
There has been some confusion in our house though. I wasn't talking about the dogs. Here we go with the dogs again. It seems Lucy has taken a great liking to cereal. First it was Lucky Charms. I used to (uh oh, watch out, a vice) have this bad habit of eating the marshmallow pieces out of the LC's box and then throwing the junk pieces on the floor for the dogs to eat. It was really working out well until they threw up green and yellow Lucky Charm puke all over my recently cleaned carpets, just another day, right? At that point though, Lucy was hooked. She knew where I kept 'em. There were quite a few times I came in the kitchen and she had opened the cabinet and had snarfed down half the box. When I bought more I put them in a different cabinet, one harder to get in to, one of those corner ones. She'd push at it a couple times, get irritated, toss the trash and huff off. Until she discovered Cocoa Pebbles. I don't eat these. They had never tried them. Until the other night. It didn't occur to me she would take them, she had been off cereal for a while. We went out for a while, when we came back it looked like a movie set in our kitchen. She had opened up the cabinet, taken all the cereal boxes out, pretty much ignored the cheerios, and the kashi and the granola and gone straight for the Pebbles. The bag was shredded, it had been new, about a quarter of the box was spread all over the floor. It looked like a tornado hit. Do you know she didn't even bother to get up when I walked in? You'd think she'd be somewhat sorry, she almost looked pleased. Mickey was dancing around like a circus animal, all hopped up on sugar. Does anyone need two dogs? Their really cute. Lisa? Mark? Come on.

Meat Heaven

I know, these two words together are like an oxymoron to me. Not to Chase though, this it the term he coined last night when we went out to dinner. We went with our friend Eddie to Fogo De Chao. It's a Brazilian Steakhouse downtown. Eddies wife, Marcia, our very good friend who is pregnant and wasn't feeling well is Brazilian and they love going to this place. They have been wanting us to go there with them for a while, somehow we always talk them into coming here and going to Nectar with us. It was our turn. Lucky for Chase cause he was hanging with us for the night. Okay, so back to the Steakhouse, usually when a restaurant has the word steakhouse in the title, for me, it is like a hotel with no spa attached, I don't want to go there. It is not for me. It was our turn though and I love hanging with those guys so we packed ourselves up and went. There are no menu's at this restaurant, you don't pick what you want. There is a really nice salad bar but then.....the waiters just start walking around with these huge hunks of meat and slicing them onto your plate if you want them. Chase was in his glory. I don't give them meat very often, cause one, I don't want to touch it and, two, I think it's gross. This doesn't mean they don't like it. I have mentioned Chase is the first one to order a big old filet when we go out. I think Chase ate more than Marc. He was so happy it almost scared me. It was cute though. For dessert he ordered the molten chocolate cake. Then he needed to sit on my lap for a while because he got sleepy. It took him about 5 minutes in the car to fall asleep. "Meat Heaven." Oh my God. Another trait from Marc. When am I gonna see someone banging out some handstands in the kitchen, that's what I want to know. At least he has my eyes.

Kid Rock and Yoga

For the past couple days Lisa, Christina and I have been in New York. We went for two specific reasons, hence the title, to see Kid Rock at Madison Square Garden and to do yoga with my yoga teacher. So we left on Wednesday morning, our first stop was lunch at Balthazaar. This little ditty especially for you Sarah.... We sat about three feet away from Bebe Neuwirth (Lillith from Cheers). She is tiny. Lisa and I were fascinated the whole time seeing her eat this enormous steak and a plate of fries and washing it down with a bowl of ice cream. Fun, right? After lunch I got in a cab and went uptown to do a yoga class with this girl Holly Coles who for anyone who knows about yoga is in a troupe called Tripsichore and they do kind of Cirque de Soleil type shows. It was a great class. At the same time Lisa and Christina went to Canal St. where for some reason a Chinese woman poked Lisa in the stomach with chopsticks and then she paid fifty bucks for a fake nano. They were also hanging out with two "salespeople" named Bags and Stinky or something like that. Come on. They were obviously lacking the adult supervision they desperately need from me. Right you guys? Wink wink.
After all that nonsense we got changed in new yoga clothes and headed uptown further to the Reebok sports club for our Duncan class. I loved it. Those guys weren't feeling it. That's okay. He's still my favorite.
On Thursday Dr. Dave (affectionately referred to as double D by big Dave), Lisa's husband and big Dave Christina's husband and my brother Mark (My Marc is in Vegas getting his own party on) met us and we went to the concert.




Once again, great fun. Love Kid Rock. He is an amazing performer. I have pictures, I'm gonna put them up soon. One of my favorites is of big Dave, who was totally feeling his party (which started on the train up with a couple double bourbons, juno how we do it), well Dave met a special friend, who we named Jimmy and they danced all night. If Kid Rock wasn't awesome enough that was a show in itself. At one point Dave asked "Jimmy" if he wanted to go on Dancing with the Stars, Jimmy replied, "Yeah, but I'm to fat." Ah Jimmy, we liked you just the way you are.



Lynyrd Skynrd was there, they were okay. Run DMC, who is fun and some other guy, Peter Nash, I think his name was and he and Kid Rock sang together, Love Stinks and a couple other songs. They were good. I so highly recommend going to see Kid Rock. It is the most fun.

Take a good close look at this picture and then give me the holla.I mean really. Come on. Juno we're going when he comes to New Jersey. Dr. Dave and big Dave can't understand why we love him so much. Show us how smart you are? Duh.

Do Ask-Do Tell

We're like opposite of the army in our house. In oh so many ways. Our main policy though is the truth, that goes for us (Marc and I) too. So when Saige or Chase asks a question that we really don't want to answer (like about Santa Claus or anything) we feel the need to just lay it on the table. My kids have known what being gay means since they were to little for me to even remember. Not that they knew all the details but they got the idea, sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls. Big deal. Well, to some people this was a big deal, people would get really bent about it when they found out I had explained it. Whatever. There's not much I can do about it now. But really, come on, it's reality and not a bad one, just reality. Anyway, that's not even what this is about. So the other day we're in the car and Saige is really upset about something very silly. I am trying to calm her down as best I can even though it is going beyond me how she could be getting so upset about it. Then Chase has to add his two cents and tell her to, "Just stop crying already." This sends her completely over the edge. Now, as I start to eat my own words, tears start running down my cheeks, because it's just not the right day of the month for them to do this and I can't handle it. Since we are in the car there is no where for me to go and give my favorite big silent, "Shut the &*%$ up." So I just sit there with tears running down my cheeks. This of course upsets Saige even more. It's like a friggin' snowball. Finally we get to her friends house, she gets out and goes in. Chase and I are in the car totally silent. We drive for a few minutes. Saige calls me and says, "I'm sorry." I say, "I'm sorry too honey, this is a bad day for me to deal with all this, you know what I mean?" She tells me that, yes, she understands. We hang up. Chase sits there thinking for a few minutes and says, "I know what you mean too Mom, you've got your period." "Well, now that we're all clear, lets try not to fight in front of mommy, how 'bout that?" He nods. He get's it. Some girl will thank me for that someday.

One More Happy Mother's Day

So I said Happy Mothers Day to my Mom and Happy Mothers day to Marc's Mom and to all Mom's but also I want to say HMD to all my friends that are Mom's and can I just say, who knew? Jami, you made me think of this from your flickr pix. You are truly the most thoughtful mother I know. I love seeing your pix and reading your thoughts. I learn from you. Kathy, I am lovin' seeing you and your three "Super" kids. You are super baby. Lisa, you are hands down the best mom with a happy plate I know. So what you keep engaging to a minimum? Kidding, you are awesome, they should be so lucky, with all those trips to waterparks and Italy. Lisa (Newton) I am amazed at what a patient Mom you are with those three girls, everytime I talk to you I laugh. Lisa (B) I am so happy for you on your first Mothers Day, congratulations! Paige, God love you with your three kids under five, the thought of it makes me giggle from time to time. Kirsten (Young) You are in a whole other mothering class, I bow down to you again. I marvel at your patience. Sometimes I think your my mom. Love you. Kirsten (Hood) miss you and those two gorgeous girls. Michele, can't wait to meet your newest little sweetheart. Rachel, (Rachel,Rachel,Rachel) you are a great mom with a great kid. You're doin' awesome. Christina, every time I'm with you I get another great tip. I love you and your kids. Sarah, you are amazing, I love your stories and I love that you have the same order as me, it's a good way to go.
I don't know who else reads this but if I forgot anyone, I love you too. Comment and I'll know your out there.
And to my friends who haven't done the Mom thing yet, and there are quite a few of you. Happy Day. I love you too.

Oh Mickey.....

Marc made me feel bad that I was dissin' the Mickster so much in here. So, ok, Mickey and I are buddies again. He hasn't peed in the house (that I know of) in a couple days. He hasn't dismembered any of Saige's stuffed animals, he hasn't chewed a hole in the woodwork in a good long time. I think for now we can bury the hatchet and I will attempt to go back to liking dogs. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love animals. I don't eat 'em. I don't like to hear sad stories about them. I love other people's dogs so much. I was just so used to German Shepherds. I've had them for years and years. Smart dogs. Dogs that get it. When I had Buddy and Carly (both shepherds) Buddy would pretend to want to go out so Carly would go to the door and then he would take whatever toy or bone she was playing with. Not so nice, but intelligent. That would be like performing brain surgery for Mickey. He means well though. Well except for to some of his toys. His stuffed toys get kind of a raw deal. Marc and I feel like enablers to a serial killer with some of those animals. He abuses them, we see them lying on the floor looking so helpless. It's sad really. When he has had enough of them he usually takes them outside in the yard and leaves them to be rained or snowed or even mowed with the grass. Then guess what? I'm at Target, I see one that has a good nose or snout he could gnaw on and I think, "Oh Mickey will like that." and down goes another one into the proverbial hole in the basement floor. He names them all Clarice. Anyway, back to liking him again, I'm taking one for the team, sucking it up, not gonna dwell on the carpet cleaning bills, the incessant barking and whining, I like him again, I said grudgingly.

Happy Mothers Day Mom

Dear Mommy,
Happy Mothers Day tomorrow. I hope you have a great day and it is beautiful outside and you can work in your garden and take pictures and have the most fun. You are a wonderful mother, always have been. Fun, funny, interesting, loving, kind, understanding, helpful, cheerful, knowing and a million other things. I love you more than you will ever know. I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Love, Amy
P.S. I got my nose pierced. Love you!!!

Mickey, I'm Gonna Need A Lawyer

It rained last night. It's rained before. Come on. Close your dumb little eyes and ignore it. That's what I told Mickey a thousand times last night. You know what he did? He stood by the side of my bed pawed at it, up and down and whined. This mew kind of whine. Like fingers on a chalkboard. He is perfectly capable of jumping up there and snuggling. I even got up a number of times and put him with me. He'd get back down, torture his pet turtle for a while and start with the whining. At about 3.15 I had the overwhelming urge to kick the screen right out the window with the bottom of my foot and toss him out after it. I actually lied there and pictured in my head how the whole thing would play out a number of times. It was strangely satisfying. He'd land on the pool, maybe he'd be fine. One could only hope. Right? Meanwhile, my smart dog. You know the one who is a big scary German Shepherd, well she is afraid of thunder. So while Mickey was doing his dumb little dance, Lucy was pacing around the room, whipping her tail against the furniture and dropping her big rubber kong toy every three seconds. I would have put them downstairs but I actually felt sorry for Lucy. That is until she tried to jump on my head. That was really fun cause I had almost been back asleep at that point.
Okay, so here's the funny thing. Last night the kids came in the room and they wanted Marc to go in Saige's room because they had to tell him something. I thought for sure they had done something and wanted the nice parent to know first. So Marc comes back in, I say, "What gives?" "Nothing." He's laughing though. He goes, "Okay, I can't tell you the whole thing but they want to do something really special for you for Mother's Day and Saige goes, Why don't we send the dogs away." She started laughing, it was a joke, but I'll tell you what, the fact that she said it is more than present enough for me.

Talking Back

Do you think it's a rule that everything has to be questioned by kids? Can't anyone ever just take the first answer, or is it only in my house? It seems no matter what I say someone wants to work me over. I think that is from the car salesman gene they must have inherited from Marc. Didn't anyone get anything from my genetic pool, you know the one where you just hand over your credit card and pay the price that's on the sticker. No questions. No haggling. Basically, that's what it is? Cool, I'll take it. No. Not my kids. Chase can't possibly take the trashcans in, first without an incredulous, "Both?" "What about Saige? Why doesn't she have to get any of them?" What I really feel like saying is, "Because trash is man's work Chase. Just friggin' do it. Girls don't get the trash and they don't mow the lawn and they don't rake leaves or make dinner for that matter." That would be wrong and sexist though. Even I know that. I try to say as kindly (not really) as possible, "Please just get the trash cans Chase, Saige isn't even here." Then after a look that only says he can't believe it, he says, "All right. Will you carry my book bag in?" Oh My God. "No. I believe you are capable of both tasks." Grumble Grumble.
I think what is really confusing to me is when they ask me things that they know they won't like the answer to. For instance, "Can I get a snack?" First of all, of course, why are you asking me if you can eat? But I say, "Sure, grab a banana or some grapes." The look Chase gives me when I say this is really priceless, he doesn't want fruit for God sake. Then why is he asking me???? I just don't get it. Listen Chase, if you're reading this, which I know you aren't, wait until I leave the room then just have at it. Skip the middle man or middle mom as the case may be. It will save us all unwanted aggravation. Show me how smart you are.

La la la la La la la la Rachel's World

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. I have to talk about Rachel today because honestly, where it is probably not really funny, I have been laughing all day with her over her nuttiness. So this is the thing, Rachel is a hair stylist. For some ridiculous reason her boss has her working on Sunday's. I don't understand why because she rarely shows up. Or if she does, it is considerably late. We don't really know why, it just is. Take this Sunday for example, on Saturday night I stayed at her house and we watched Juno. One would think that she would have no problem getting up and getting to work on time, especially when the elusive "Edie" had a scheduled appointment. Did Rachel go? No. She did not. Juno why she didn't go? Me either. This was our big joke though when she apparently strolled in 180 minutes late. To her defense she did show up on time last Sunday (but not the two previous ones, just details really). So, when she got there late on Sunday, Lavonne, the slightly irritable male receptionist sent her home. Uh oh. That can't be good. She didn't have to work until today so it was really up in the air if she still had a job. On Sunday afternoon she was trying to get me to call her boss from my phone, pretend to be her and give him some lame ass excuse as to why she hadn't made it on time. How old am I again? Where am I? To be honest, I did try once, cause I felt sorry for her. Thank God he didn't pick up. So she waited it out. She was supposed to be at work at 8.30 this morning. At 8.45 I texted her and said, "Juno I want to know if you got the axe." What was her response? "Juno I don't know yet, I'm running late." Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. So guess what? Turns out they didn't fire her. Who knows why. I don't get it. I'm happy for her though. Juno I am.

The Gravity Cowboy

Ok, I know some of you, not mentioning any names, you know who you are, don't like when I write about yoga. But come on, it's what I do, sometimes it's all I've done all weekend so it's all I've got. If you don't like it, skip today, surely I will be writing about my questionable parenting skills or overindulged children or crazy friends again soon. For now, this is what I've got. So this is Brock Cahill, the gravity cowboy. He is a teacher out in Santa Monica. He and his wife were out this way this weekend and Kirsten and Erin and I were lucky enough to take a class with them. It was literally the most fun I've had in a yoga class, well, since I was in Santa Monica practicing. They have these insane practices and are awesome teachers. The reason I am writing this is because although some don't like the yoga talk, some do and for them I am going to highly recommend if you ever get a chance to take a class with these guys. Brock is extremely physical, he does all this killer "flying" techniques where you are floating from one thing to the next. Super cool. His wife, Krista, is a bit softer in the way she teaches but so knowledgeable and really breaks complicated stuff down and does things in different ways. There you have it.
You can read about Brock and Krista if you wanna.

Chase The King of Siam

We laugh and joke about Chase and his very high standards. He likes to get massages, he requests lobster on a weekly basis and his taste in cars is impeccable. I truly hope he steps it up on the school work because he is looking at an expensive lifestyle. Yesterday I was at my friend Lisa's house. I was telling her about Chase and his filet at Nectar. She started laughing and said, "Oh my God. I totally forgot to tell you about Chase and Ethan the other day." Oh great. What now? So she reminded me of how when we were in Florida with her three kids and my two and how we spent an inordinate amount of time feeding those people. Really. That is what seemed to lead us, where they were going to eat, what they were going to eat, all things that hold no interest to me but I am bound by law (I think) to take care of. I'm not kidding we would have no sooner dropped a hundred dollars on fruit and some hamburgers at the Love Food Cafe on the beach in Miami than they were asking where we were going to have dinner. So the one night we were driving from South Beach up to Boca and Chase said he wanted to eat in a seafood restaurant. We were just off the beach, everyone was sandy and tired and of course hungry and really to be honest, irritable. The whole time Lisa and I had joked that it was us against them, at this moment the troops had turned on each other. They were bickering and whining and complaining. It was really fun. So we knew that if we didn't throw some food in their cages soon it was gonna be anarchy. We were a tad bit lost and Chase's I phone navigation (yes, that's what I said, talk to Marc about that) wasn't working and we needed to find food soon. We stumbled across a Quizno's. Everyone but Chase was fine with that. Chase was all out angry. He actually sat out on the curb with a puss on his face. I was pretty much over him by then but he is my baby so I had to try to cajole him into eating one more time. At first he wouldn't budge. Finally after a while he was so kind to agree to let me buy him dinner again. He's a prince. So anyway, the other day Lisa took Chase and Ethan to Subway. Ethan, very innocently says to Chase, "Chase, this is like that restaurant we ate in when we were in Florida." Apparently Chase gave Ethan a pissy look and said with no humor, "Ethan, that wasn't a restaurant we ate in, that was fast food." (God forbid) Ethan didn't understand what he was saying, of course it was a restaurant. He looked at Lisa and said, "Mom, that was a restaurant right?" Lisa, being the smart woman she is, looked straight ahead, making no eye contact and said, "Well Ethan, that was probably a step above where we are now."

What to Make of Chase...

So as I have said before, there is really nothing Chase would rather do than go to Marc's work. He loves it. I swear I drive back and forth to Devon more than you can imagine. I pass the house I grew up in sometimes four times a day. I pass the Y we used to belong to, I pass the restaurant that used to be a Pizza Hut that we hung out in during high school. It's just one big trip down memory lane all the time. That's not really the point. The point is that restaurant that used to be a Pizza Hut is now Nectar. It's an Asian fusion restaurant that is my favorite. I love it. It's so yummy. When I know we are eating there, which is way more frequently than I will admit I get so happy. I think of the spicy tuna rolls and the cosmos with the three little cranberry's in them and just smile all day long. So anyway, yesterday after school Chase wanted to go to work. I had already been there once to switch cars because mine needed an oil change or apparently I would permanently damage it, at least that's what the little message on my screen said. Marc has been in the car business since we got out of college, oil changes have nothing to do with me. So I dropped off my car, got his and went home. So Chase and I get in the car and we're driving down there and Chase says, "You're going to leave his car there and take yours right?" Um, No. I said, "No, I'm taking this." He shot me a look. I turned up the music and went about my driving. A while after I dropped him and got home Marc called me and told me that not only was Chase irritated I didn't take my own car because he wanted to drive home in Marc's but he had also requested Nectar for dinner. Are you kidding me? Buy the kid some pizza and tell him to pipe down. No, it's cute, kinda....not really, but I can appreciate it.