Sunday, March 1, 2009

Billy the Cat Guy

Somewhere in a not to distant land called New York City all sorts of odd situations are going on constantly. In fact, you can't swing a dead cat without running into one.

So my brother gets this cat (completely against my wishes, cause I am highly allergic, and I like to visit him a lot- and I'm thinkin', it's about all me, right Mark?) Anyway, on some crazy whim he goes and adopts one. Guess what? He is so allergic to it, he is constantly on meds, and not the good kind. He needs to lose this sweet little fur ball. He's to nice though. He doesn't want it to go back to the clink.

Here enters "Billy." Billy is the "Cat Adoption Consultant." Which, really, I'm not making fun of, I love the title. I think it's awesome. He's from a no kill shelter. They screen the adopters and ask them to call if it doesn't work out. This is what my brother did. So Billy comes over and has a little session with the cat (whose name I don't know- sorry Cat.) He is supposed to be there for a half hour kinda just hanging out with the cat.

Times up and my brother is running late but Billy doesn't seem to be rushing out of there. My brother decides to show Billy some Youtube video cause there are cats in it, Christian the Lion. Have you seen this. It's a sweet one. Well, Billy starts to cry. Oh dear, right in my brothers apartment, tears are a streamin'. Seeing as Billy seems to like it, Mark goes one step further with This little ditty. So now Billy is in full on sobbing. Mark's slightly uncomfortable and he really needs to work. He tell's Billy, "I'm sorry, I need to get going, I have to get some stuff done." Billy isn't ready to leave yet, he says to Mark, "I'll go if you show me just one more thing." "What?" says my brother. "I want to see Patti Lupone." What the hell, he's already running late. Mark clicks back on Youtube and Billy guides him to the Patty Lupone video, which is honestly gayer than Liza and Betty Buckley combined. Billy watches in awe as he shimmies his shoulders and thrusts his hips to the music. He claps, he sings, he is having the best time. Which truthfully I'm glad about. I was getting worried about him.

Well, I really think the moral of this kinda silly story is I'm glad my brother is a nice person. I think while it seems a little odd that Billy would carry on and insist on watching Patti, I think it's nice my brother took the time to show him. If you watch the first video (alone) there is a chance at tears, it is so sweet, you might not be able to help it. And the second video is just the perfect example that every breathing thing wants to feel love and feel connected and have a friend. Sometimes those friends come in all different shapes and sizes. So when you see that someone or something has found that love, shouldn't you just be happy for them? Shouldn't you just clap your hands and think, "Thank God for them, two less lonely souls in the world." It's why I don't get when people care if someone else is gay. It makes no sense to me. I have a gay brother so I think I am allowed to express the "gayness" of Patti Lupone. It doesn't mean I'm judging it. It just means I get it. Just like all big burly men watch football. EVERY single one of them. Right?
Billy isn't his real name either.


Mark's cat, still looking for a place to call home. Little cutey.

14 comments:

Sue Jacquette said...

I love this, and I love Mark. What a nice guys you are, Mark. Seriously, I would have kicked his crying rear end out. (I think?) I've seen that christian the lion video. Check out this article about it. It makes you love it even more... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-452820/Christian-lion-lived-London-living-room.html

Simple Answer said...

I love that your brother saw a Cat Adoption Consultant. And that they watched sappy videos. It makes me feel totally justified on the cat psycologist I took my cat to see. There is some sort of voodoo cats possess that make you do things.

Kathy S. said...

Love this (sniff, sniff). You know I would have teared up just listening to Mr. Armstrong, but then they had to add the animals.....

Wep said...

AWW How cute :) So what happened to the cat? Did Billy finally take him back?

twist said...

Oh my god. I totally thought this was a joke. I watched the whole thing giggling and just waiting for the bunny to flash his "great, gnashing teeth" or something. And now I can't stop laughing that it wasn't a joke. This is SO "which part cooks up the best?" It's sweet though, your brother's sweet, really, and you...well, yes, very sweet too, of course ;)

Lori said...

Twist, I was so waiting for your comment. This story had a different tone before I watched that video. Then I felt I needed to clean up my act. I will say, I thought that bunny was going to go ballistic too. He had the makings. This was SO, a "Which part cooks up best? Post." Yes. It. Is.

Amy said...

That was supposed to be me. Lori was signed in on my computer.

Mark said...

I was sweet to Billy, but when I told the story to Amy, we had a good laugh that was not at all malicious, but could not be characterized as "sweet." I deserved a good laugh after sitting through the Patti Lupone performance recreation. Billy, by the way, did not hip thrusting, but he did throws his arms open wide at key moments and sang along. I actually think he cried more watching Patti than he did watching Christian. Still, Billy is one of the good people on this earth. Eccentricities aside, he volunteers every weekend, both Saturday and Sunday, to finding homes for homeless cats, and he used to be an AIDS counselor. He's a good man. Well, as long as the cats behave, right, Amy?

Brother Chris said...

Can't believe no one has checked in with a joke about Billy's fondness for cats at the same time that he has shown a dislike for a 'euphamism for cat' :)

I'd do it but that'd ruin the fun for someone else, like Jen, who I know had something funny bouncing around in her head over this one. (Think: ______ willow).

Amy said...

Yes, I forgot to mention Billys, "Cat Rules," he's no pus...hover!
Billy is one of the good guys! A little more Patty Lupone, a little less hate, what a wonderful world it would be!
Hi Chris.

twist said...

So Zadie's always wanting in on the secrets of your blog (since Mommy's so captivated), but some of the material is, shall we say, a little too edgy. This time I thought she'd really enjoy the show. Dude, she says this bit is lifted straight from Milo and Otis - a sappy, kids' movie! Might I suggest the following anti-Hallmark alternatives: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWdTQkbrkqY OR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvo-g_JvURI&feature=related

Aimeepalooza said...

Awwww, the cat guy! And aww your Brother for taking the time to cheer him up. And as always, I totally agree with you. Hope cute kitty finds a home soon!

Kathy S. said...

Twist - Thank you. While watching it with my daughters they commented that it looked like Milo. I could not remember but it makes sense.

Anonymous said...

seriously, amy. who else but you (and your f&f) could come up with such stories?!!!!
i look forward to all of 'em. xo

~jami