This is from my brother Mark.
Mickey understands a lot more than he lets on.
What? Did Lori think he was stupid enough to prove in front of you that he could be trained? That dog knows exactly what he was doing.
The little bubble above his head would read, "Nice girl, that Lori, but if she thinks I'm giving up this gig to prove she's got some power over me, she's the one who needs to be trained. I'll teach her just like I teach every other misguided human who tries to control me.
I know they all think I'm crazy, but who recently got a new stuffed toy to do his 'special' dance with in front of company? Who gets that idiot city slicker from New York to feed him a thousand treats every time he visits? Who tears the trash can apart only to have Amy blame the much bigger, not-so-bright dog? Who humps the furniture at night when no one is awake so I don't get caught?
The way I see it, I get to eat, dance, play with new toys, have sex with the furniture, wreak havoc and not get caught.
Why the hell would I let some copycat dog whisperer take that all away from me? Next time she hits me upside the head, I'm going to play dog whisperer myself and get that bigger mut to nip old Lori in the rear. Think I can't do it? That dog will do anything I say if I whisper it in the right way. Just ask the neighborhood kids that used to tease me. We don't see them around here anymore, do we? That's right. Their blood is on my crazy little paws. Now, wouldn't you be doing a 'special' dance if you had it THIS good? Woof, woof, arf, arf, shake my groove thing, over and out."
And this my friends is why I love my brother. Come on. Who does this? LOVE YOU. Thanks for the blog post.