Saige went to spend the weekend with Marc's sister Suzanne so it was just Chase and Marc and I. Chase hasn't been feeling all that well. It of course hasn't stopped him from playing with his friends but when he comes home he likes to chill. So after a long day of playing yesterday he came home and while we waited for Marc to get home from work to go out to dinner we lied on my bed, listened to music and talked. You know how I love this. He was quite focused on our dog Buddy, who died six years ago. Chase was only three when Buddy died but he made a big impact on him. Buddy was the dog you get like once and then compare every other dog to. Still, to this day when I tell the story of how he died I cry. I still miss him.
Anyway, for a long time, before this internet thing. I used to keep private journals. I have always in the back of my mind wondered who was going to get to keep them cause there are stories about both in here. So I decided to every once in a while I'll put one in here.
There are many things the kids do and say that literally take my breath away. Yesterday I had one of those moments with Chase. It had actually started a few days back. We were all in the car and out of nowhere Chase asks why Pop Pop has a stone (meaning a headstone) and Buddy does not have one. So I had to tell him that we had Buddy's ashes in a box. This is not any easy concept for adults, so for kids, cremation is just plain bizarre. But he let it go at that, for the moment. So a few days go by and yesterday morning we woke up. Now it was just him and I, Marc had left for work and Saigy had slept over at Brigettes. So we wake up and he says to me, "Mom, can I see the box with Buddy's ashes now?" So I say, "OK." and we go downstairs to get it out. Now let me say that I have never opened this before. So anyway we go downstairs and I get the box out and it has a plaque on the top that says Buddy and I show it to him. (hoping that's good enough)He says, "Open it." I say, "It's locked." He points to the keys. So I get them off the box and I unlock the lock and lift open the lid. Inside is a bag with his ashes and on top of that is his collar and his leash. I did not expect that and it kind of took me back and brought tears to my eyes. he asked me to open the bag but i told him that was not a good idea. So at this moment he looks at me with this face so filled with knowing it is hard for me to even describe and he says, "You can close it now," and he turns hims head so I won't see his tears. Meanwhile, I am crying now. He comes over to me and we hugged and cried for a moment, then he says, "Stop crying Mommy, see I stopped. Please don't cry Mommy." and then we put the box away and he understood. This is one of the many amazing things about Chase, he just gets it. His compassion is endless.