Mickey understands a lot more than he lets on.
What? Did Lori think he was stupid enough to prove in front of you that he could be trained? That dog knows exactly what he was doing.
The little bubble above his head would read, "Nice girl, that Lori, but if she thinks I'm giving up this gig to prove she's got some power over me, she's the one who needs to be trained. I'll teach her just like I teach every other misguided human who tries to control me.
I know they all think I'm crazy, but who recently got a new stuffed toy to do his 'special' dance with in front of company? Who gets that idiot city slicker from New York to feed him a thousand treats every time he visits? Who tears the trash can apart only to have Amy blame the much bigger, not-so-bright dog? Who humps the furniture at night when no one is awake so I don't get caught?
The way I see it, I get to eat, dance, play with new toys, have sex with the furniture, wreak havoc and not get caught.
Why the hell would I let some copycat dog whisperer take that all away from me? Next time she hits me upside the head, I'm going to play dog whisperer myself and get that bigger mut to nip old Lori in the rear. Think I can't do it? That dog will do anything I say if I whisper it in the right way. Just ask the neighborhood kids that used to tease me. We don't see them around here anymore, do we? That's right. Their blood is on my crazy little paws. Now, wouldn't you be doing a 'special' dance if you had it THIS good? Woof, woof, arf, arf, shake my groove thing, over and out."
And this my friends is why I love my brother. Come on. Who does this? LOVE YOU. Thanks for the blog post.
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6 comments:
Even though that makes for a funny story and all, its too far fetched for me. I'm still sticking with Mickey's just stoopid...dumb as a stump.
That's a big bubble.
Oooooh, I love the way Mickey's mind works!
"have sex with furniture..."
Ah, the dream of every pooch...
Your brother makes me smile, Amy!
I have to say, I've always been of the opinion that Mickey's dumb as a rock, but maybe Mark is right. Maybe Mickey's got it going on. Maybe we'd all do well to be more like Mickey. Maybe we should all ask ourselves, "WWMD?" Like if I go furniture shopping and another customer and I fall head over heels with the same couch. The very last couch of its kind. I know in my heart the other customer MIGHT have been there first. WWMD? Yes, that's right, start humping the couch until the other customer no longer wants it. Problem solved.
Oh good, I got back your attention. I think you're right that is exactly WMWD. It's so simple! You want something someone else wants, you either spit on it or hump it. Good one Twist! That is very Yogic of you. You my friend are the Queen of Kind. The Lord of Love and the Swami of Sharing, all twisted up in one button nose little pretzel. You little sweetheart. Did you kick any cats today? Or at least spray them with a hose? That's my girl. :)
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