Sex and the City, Sushi and Squirrels

Sex and the City opened last night. We were all so excited to go see it. Kinda goofy, but come on, we watched that show and loved it for years. So Christina, Lisa, Lena, MaryPat and I went to see it. It was cute. Really, exactly what you would expect out of it. A little corny. Everyone looked a little older. At one point Samantha was fat. Total gut, that I hadn't seen coming. Of course the clothes were awesome. It was pretty predictable. No big twists. Cute, fun to watch. That's it. After that we went down to Philadelphia to meet some friends at Table 31.
I am not going to mention specific names but on the way in to the restaurant people were still getting ready. One person put a hairpiece in their hair. I, being a good friend, begged her not to. Really, I had no problem saying, "It looks ridiculous." I was actually familiar with this particular hair pet because last summer she and I went up to this yoga thing in Rhinebeck NY. One day we were going to Woodstock. We were getting ready, I came out in my usual jean shorts, tank top, hair in a ponytail. She had on gold gladiator sandals, white and gold shorts, a huge gold belt and a white tank with rhinestones and gold on it and the hairpiece, which looks like this long curly ponytail. She said to me, "Amy, does this look alright?" I was actually in a little bit of shock, I mean, again, we were going to Woodstock. I tell her the truth, "Baby, it's so wrong, it's right. You've come full circle." I mean, what do I care what she wears? As long as she's happy right? But I do feel if my friend flat out asks me what I think of something, I should be honest. The hairpiece, frankly, scares me. And, she is beautiful without it. Anyway, both Christina and I said, "Don't wear it. Take it off." Lisa, always being the "nice" one, said, "Oh, leave her alone, if she wants to wear it. You're being mean. Let her." OOOKkkkaaayyyyy. It's out of my hands.

So everything is going smoothly, at first. Christina and I were starved. We ordered the most delicious tuna rolls and this Margarita pizza. We pretty much ignored everyone else as we ate, and guess what? It was dinner and a show with what happened next. Lisa referred to it as the train wreck. So we were at a group of tables across from the bar. There was this odd looking man sitting at the bar who seemed to be staring at our friend. It was kinda creepy. The hairpiece friend walks over and hears talk of this, she marches herself right up to the bar and says, "Why are you staring?" I don't know what he said to her but she comes back to the table and says to the friend he had been staring at, "He wasn't staring at you, he was staring at me." Was that necessary? So, the stared at friend says, "Well at least I don't have a dead squirrel on my head." Uh oh. This is going to turn ugly fast. Hairpiece friend says something back that I can't type on here, but it made Lisa, Christina and I look at each other and cringe. Lisa was mouthing the words to me, "Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy make her stop. Make her stop.Amy Amy Amy." I so know where this is going, it's only going to get worse. So people are angry. Hairpiece friend stomps off, makes a detour at weird guy sitting at the bar and whispers something to him, I have no idea what. I, of course, have to follow, because I have seen this little scenario before, I'm pretty much anti-drama and I don't need her lost in Philadelphia alone. So I go to talk to her, I actually get yelled at. Me. Me, who warned her about the hair, me who was minding my own business happily eating my sushi. At this point weird bar guy is lurking around us. My friend stands up, points her finger at him and says in the loudest, meanest voice, "You have to leave. Now." Oh God. He practically ran out of there. I seriously think I saw him tuck his tail between his legs as he was bolting out the door. By the time I talk her in off the ledge our other friend has left. Which makes me sad because she is funny, we wanted to hang for a while. Luckily Steve/Mitch was there. Another Kid Rock fan, so of course, there wasn't enough time in the night left to get through our mutual love of him.
Let me warn you, if we ever go out together and you put on a hairpiece, I'm going to be a bitch about it. I have seen where this can go and it ain't pretty.