Yes, They're Home

For all of you well wishers, and those of you who are envious that there is not a winter camp in your state. :) My precious angels are home. If I thought I was stupid yesterday, I managed to one up myself today! Yes I did.

After I found out last night I had one more day of freedom my little sweethearts being away, I came up with a whole day full of events. I just KNEW the bus was coming in at 4.00 and it takes about a half hour to get home from there and I wasn't picking them up. So I had the most lovely day. I sure did. At about 3.30 I was putting my groceries in the car from Trader Joe's and I got a phone call from Marc.
"The kids have been home since one. Where are you?" he said.
"Huh? No they haven't." I replied stupidly. Because obviously I know nothing.
"Yes they have."
"Well why didn't they call me? I have no missed calls." I said.
"Saige said she did, like six times. They're at Sarah's now."
Insert me cringing here. Sarah's dad was the one I called Elizabeth and told him the kids were due home yesterday. Now today they try and drop them off and I'm no where to be found.

So I call them. I pick them up. We are not even down the road and my cell rang again. It was Saige's friend inviting her to bowling and out to dinner. Turn the car around to drive in the other direction to drop her off. They're back...

I really need to get it together! Although my friend "Amy with the bangs" told me that she was operating in a world of her own time. Others just hadn't caught on yet. I like that theory.

Thank God in 26 hours it will be '09, cause I'm going to be smarter in '09.
Happy New Year if I don't talk to ya before.

If It Wasn't Attached...

Seriously, I'd just lose my brain. I'd leave it somewhere. I'd forget about it. I'd go looking for it and wonder, "What the hell did I do with that?" "I know I must have had it earlier, cause I have shoes on. They just didn't climb on my feet themselves. But where the hell is it?"

This is how I feel right now. My mind is so cluttered and clogged from the holidays and the year and life that I can't keep anything straight. I thought it was that movie last night that threw me off. I'm thinkin', maybe it's just me in general.

The kids went to winter camp. That's right, WINTER CAMP. It's the best thing invented since...well... I'd have to say, summer camp. Summer camp comes right after boxed wine on God's list of inventions. Winter Camp is actually a brainstorm of such intelligence it sometimes astounds me. Winter's not summer. The pools not open. It's cold (usually, it's kind of nice here now). Winter is so much more of a "I'm bored," time. "Can you drive me? To Ethans? To Victorias? To Amandas? To Trevors? To Sarah's? To Lindsays? To Jakes?" Camp takes all that away. You drop them off, a big shiny bus comes and get's them and their WAY to overpacked duffles and whisks them off to the Chesapeake. Now sure, there is no water skiing or sailing, there is however, camp fires and Winter Olympics and Ropes course and Movie nights and more!

So what am I complaining about? Really nothing except the fact that I just am kind of an idiot at times. I dropped the kids off at the bus and a friend is picking them up with her child. I thought they would be back at 4 today. I've been waiting and waiting. Rushed home to greet them. 4.45 rolled around, not here. 5.15 came and went. I played on the computer. Cleaned. Ate some hummus. Laughed with my brother on the phone. 6.20, not yet. I decided to call my friend and ask if the bus was late. Her husband answered her cell phone, I knew it was him but I still said, "Elizabeth?" Um, hint number one, Amy's not completely with it. The scary part is my friend works for NASA. Me, the yoga teacher is pretty much clueless. "Did she pick the kids up yet?" I asked her husband. Pause. Big pause. "Um, Amy, that's not til tomorrow." "No," I say. "It's the 30th." In a very kind voice I am informed that today is the 29th. How 'bout that? Well, next year, I'll be more with it. There's another resolution. Now I'm up to four. Counting cards is also one of them.

Holiday Movies

Most of the year there are not a lot of movies that I "need" to see. I do go to see some cause my kids want to. Usually they're pretty cute. We are past the stage of the really lame ones. The ones that I used to bring my IPod to, is that wrong?

It's usually during the holiday season ( I am so far past the point of saying the Christmas season, I can't even tell you) anyway, that I want to see ALL the movies out. Well, lots of them. I will say, contrary to popular opinion one movie that I don't want to see. And I've heard it's great. Marley and Me. My friend Suzy told me her eyes were puffy from crying for hours after that movie was over. This is what I surmise from that...(only three Mark ;) ), okay, it's a dog movie, it was sad. I'm thinkin' the dog dies at some point. Sorry, I don't want to see that. If pressed to tell the story I would start crying about my dog Buddy who died 5 years ago. I hate sad animal things! I can't stand it. My kids want to see this movie though and honestly, Saige would be fine, Chase is like me, if he goes, I better be with him. You know, so he can comfort me. Like he did the day he made me show him Buddy's ashes and his leash was inside the box. Sorry, train of thought is wandering. I'm going to tell you why.

I can't even think straight. Marc and I went to see 7 Pounds. Not a knee slapper. There were no funny one liners by Vince Vaughn, at no point did Will Ferrell have a funny accent and made me laugh. Not at all. I was confused for the first little bit. Once we figured out what was going on my eyes were at the very least filled with tears, if not running down my cheeks for rest of the movie. This might not be everyone's reaction, I've heard it got bad reviews. It was mine though. It was about love and giving and guilt and resolution. It was about people, they weren't all happy and perfect, they were flawed and heart broken for all different reasons. If you took the time to really think about it, it said a lot. That's why I can't think straight. Now I am going to watch Edtv, cause it's funny and stupid and doesn't require a lot of thought.

Merry Christmas is over for the year. Yay.

Pollyanna Lunch

So it started off like every other day. Wake up, get kids to school, go to the gym. It is the Tuesday before Christmas and it was the day of my Holiday lunch with my yoga girls. Yay. That's fun. So three of us start the day off with the gym. While we are working out the craziest of all my friends decides to ask Tracy ( a totally tattooed guy) to come to our lunch. We kind of thought she was kidding and we definitely thought he was kidding when he asked, "Where?" and totally thought he was kidding when she told him it was a gift exchange and he asked, "How much?"

Weren't we surprised when all of us were sitting at the Oriental Pearl with our big pile of presents on the table and Tracy walks in with a present himself. At first he tried to leave the present and leave. We wouldn't let him. So without to much arm twisting he sat down. Seriously, the odder the better for me. Tattoos and piercings are right up my alley. I wasn't quite sure about the rest of them. Tracy is tattooed all over, even on his face. Some might find this odd. I kind of like it. Just like I was fixated on the girl with hot pink hair the other day in HomeGoods. I wanted that hair and if I wasn't closer to 40 (just today) than 39, I just might get it. Not really, but I want it just the same.

Turns out Tracy is one of the most together people we had ever met. He owns four tattoo parlors, he eats no sugar, no carbs, doesn't drink. He knows all about alternative medicine and herbal remedies. He is well versed in the caring and feeding of dogs, travel and a plethora of other information. He was well spoken, kind, funny and intelligent. He totally understood the White Elephant Pollyanna. He knew the rules. He actually picked the most awesome present that Sue (blogger Sue) had given. It was some cool aromatherapy stuff. How fun is that?


So we're thinking we might need a show. We have some serious drama going on between all of us. Our new best friend Tracy just adds to the crazy. And, I'm going to be honest with you, tatttooed head and all, he is way more normal than anyone sitting at that table For real. That's true. You don't even want to know why. Post.

Happy Birthday/Chanukkah

So in the spirit of doing things half assed, while still embracing the multi cultural heritage of the loves of my life, we celebrated Chanukah tonight. We were lucky enough to have Crazy Aunt Jenny with us. So while she and I partook in the liquid celebration of the holiday season, Marc and said angels lit the candles on the menorah. Now, my non-Jewish friends, one might ask where do you get these candles from? Hmmm... Good question, because we lit birthday candles in lieu of the traditional ones. This was all Rite Aid had to offer at 8.30 last night when we remembered it was Hanukkah. Then today, Marc and I went back and forth between who was going to pick them up. It ended up Marc because he had to stop and get Saige an Ugly Doll for her Pollyanna and they were supposed to have them in the store. Whoops they didn't. Day two- Birthday candles.

So Chase had asked for a Mac laptop for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Groundhog day or YOUR birthday because he is all about the homework. Not. In fact, I'm not sure what he plans on doing with this computer except we can safely say Government files will stay unhacked, there will be no War Games out of our house my friends. Not to worry. I believe he will be more likely found googling 'boobies'.

This being said, candle lighting and Jewish prayers were tier two priority next to the sparkly wrapped present in front of him. He smacked that yarmulke on his cute little pate faster than you can say L'Chiem. He grabbed the lighter like the true pyro he is. He lit the candles, mumbled some prayers, and with that, had at the gift. His parting words were, before he dragged his sister, the computer aficionado, up to his room, "Thanks Mommy!" like I had ANYthing to do with the acquisition of said gift.

It reminded me of the Chris Rock stand up routine when they say kids thank Mommy for everything. Never do they say, "Thanks Daddy for keeping the lights on. Thanks for keeping a roof over my head. Thanks for the food on the table." It's always, "Thanks Mommy for the laptop." But he checked himself before he wrecked himself and gave credit where credit was due. The only part I played in the whole damn laptop was wrapping it. But you're welcome baby. Anything Mommy can do to put a smile on your little cherub face is all the thanks I need.

So in the words of Adam Sandler, for those of you who are Jewish and those who are not, cause you know I'm all about any God you pray to.......

"So drink your gin and tonica, smoke your marijuanica, so much funnica to celebrate Hanukkah!" (When you are the nine-year -old recipient of an Apple Laptop!)

Wordica.

A Chris Pick

You know I love a good song recommendation so I was so happy this morning when in my mailbox was a nice e mail from Brother Chris with a Youtube video attached. It's a song from a movie. It is from the soundtrack of Bob Dylan's movie, "I'm Not There." My brother says, "With all due respect to Bob, Jim James & Calexico version is better."


After discussion with Lula and some serious time in with Itunes, it is imperative you get the whole soundtrack from "I'm Not There." Totally rocks. It's like 34 songs for $14 a greatl deal. Get out those Itunes gift cards you have and start downloading.

Questionably Funny?

There are many many things I find really funny. A lot of them are just so wrong that sometimes it makes me wonder about myself. The thing is, all my friends seem to find the same things funny. Whether it be the Jesus statue getting stolen out of the little old lady with all those dogs yard or Will Ferrel picturing Jesus as a mischievous beaver (or was that the other guy). Everyone gets it.

Now it's not like my friends are all rocket scientists and Rhodes Scholars. Sure, there is the stray doctor and elementary school teacher in there :). Is this why? Are we all just stupid? Do really smart people laugh every time they see Wedding Crashers? Do those people giggle every time Will says, "I almost numchucked you man?" or when Bon Qui Qui says the blond women bit her? I don't know. I don't know who to ask.

I will say, to add to my questionable adult status... (in facebook speak) Amy is...... loving when her friends write those movie quotations on her wall. Why? It just makes me laugh. I wonder though, do you guys know them by heart or did you have to look them up? There were a couple long ones on there. I was oddly impressed.

Now before I post this I need to go check if I spelled Rhodes right for my Rhodes scholar reference, cause seriously, that would be really dumb. The very least I could do is spell check....one would think.

Entertain me with your funny.
And Chris, no one wants to hear any more Amy Legend. Especially if it has to do with empty soda bottle and half chewed packs of gum!

Yay! It's Not A Snow Day!

That's awful right? It's just I'm so happy. I actually feel giddy. Lot's of time's our school makes some questionable calls for snow days. This could very well have been one of them. I teach this morning. It would have been a huge hassle, but guess what? I don't even have to think about it because in 9 minutes I'm going to go upstairs and wake everyone up. Then I'm going to throw some food at them and tell them to, "Get their book bags, get their pledge class and get the hell out of my house." Just like the good old days during pledging. Right Jen? Right Jami? Right Kathy? Remember how much fun that was? Fortunately I was just a reporter, so it didn't really bother me. Except for that pesky little green beanies and some of those bitchier sisters.

Do you know my mom called me during pledging and had a yellow legal pad out with questions to ask me? She didn't want to forget her bullet points. My brother Chris must have been home at the time because he has laughed about this for years.
So my Mom asked me, "Amy, are they making you do anything dangerous?"
"Ummmm.......no?" I said.
Okay, check that off the list.
"Amy, are they making you do anything immoral?"
"Hmmmm... as opposed to the usual college immoral stuff? I don't think so."
Okay, check that off the list.
"Amy, are they making you do anything illegal?"
"Well, I don't think so. We're not counting underage drinking right? If that doesn't count then I guess it's all on the up and up."
Fantastic!
Check that off the list.
Illegal.
Immoral.
Dangerous.
Three important question.
I love you Mommy.
Okay, school time.
Jen, did you like this?

The Dreaded Holiday Picture.

Last year it was mohawks and tie dyes. I'm comfortable with that. Give me a piercing, a tattoo, a mohawk, any kooky thing seems normal to me. What does not seem normal is for my nine year old son who has always been known as my sweet and precious angel to be so irritable. I bought him a really nice shirt. He hates it. Not only does he hate it, he storms off telling me I'm making it go from, "bad to worse." I tell him to wear whatever he wants, just put a smile on his face. God! Then my little bright light of a daughter (who is not moody for some reason-I know why, I just can't tell) comes bouncing down in the cutest dress with her heels in her hand all ready to go. My ying and yang. They switch rolls all the time. It seems when one is pissy the other stands up for me. The beauty of two I guess. So tonight I am so very thankful for Saige, with her big smile, her freshly washed hair, her sweet little dress and her calming voice. Thanks baby.

I like this cause Mickey is sticking out his tongue. I think it's funny. It's much better than the gagging noise's he is making now. I think my little kitten has a fur ball. :)

Real Vs. Fake?

What do you think I'm going to talk about in todays Mr. Rodgers discussion? Boobs? Whole schools of thought on that. Me? I don't really care. Real, fake, whatever.

What I'm talking about is..........Christmas trees.

Many might shudder at the thought of a fake one. I know many years ago I did too. At the mention of a "Fake" tree visions of white trees with mauve and colonial blue balls might come to mind.

This is probably because as a child I was never subjected to a fake tree. It was unheard of. I remember going to look for Christmas trees with my Dad. It was a huge deal. Which tree? Did the branches fall right? Did it have any open spaces that would be distracting? How tall was it? Did it smell good? All those things were considerations. Then we would pick one out and strap it on the top of our station wagon and bring it home to decorate it. I remember my Mom measuring out water with sugar in it and pouring it into the tree stand with a measuring cup. I was delighted by every decoration that came out of the box that they had carefully been placed back in the year before. Every gingerbread house and gingerbread man and the pretty balls and the balls with birds and the birds that sat on the branches. Each one was ingrained in my memory, year after year.

So it's probably odd that I have a fake one. I tried a real one, a couple times. I'm going to tell you, to me, it was a big huge pain. The needles falling off, it inevitably tipped quite a few times and the water spilled out and stained the rug. I never seemed to get it out of the house at the right time. All the neighbors trees would be picked up on "tree taking day." Ours sat there for weeks. Until, finally at some point someone would drag it from the curb and throw it in the woods behind our house. Dead trees. Makes me cringe.

Here enters my Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I love this tree. I bought it like 7 years ago. It lives in my basement. Every Black Friday I drag it in three separate pieces up the stairs. I put it together like a puzzle. I string the lights. It never tips over. I only let ornaments that are Santa Claus go on it. I love it. This year the kids wanted to decorate it. They loved the ornaments. They talked about ones they remembered. Chase broke a ball while having a catch with it. They had fun. They did say, after the last candy cane had been put on, "Mom, some year can we get a real tree?" Insert me smiling and nodding while thinking, "No."

I'm pretty sure when they are adults they will have the biggest real Christmas trees they can buy. Someone will mention fake trees and THEY will roll there eyes and say, "No way!"

Maybe a little real one, we'll see......

Mysteries......

This is the same old story, but it's what I've got today. This is the thing. You're a kid. You watch your Mom do all the stuff around the house and you don't really think about it that much. Even when she says, "Clean your room," or something like that. I don't believe there is much thought that goes into it. It's an eye roll and tossing a couple pieces of clothing in the laundry basket (for her to wash, dry and fold) maybe you take those water cups down to the kitchen, you certainly don't put them in the dishwasher. That would be crazy. Just set 'em on the counter, she'll get 'em. You know, your Bitch.

When your kids are little instead of those silly "Makin' Music" classes and Gymboree, I think a little, "Clean Up After Yourself" class would be a gold mine. You know, you could rent one of those big rooms and instead of putting things to climb on you could put folded laundry and drawers, or dishes and a dishwasher or trash and a trash can. You could point out that the trash actually goes in the trash can. Not on the table. This is a concept that is hard for my sweet adorable almost ten year old son. He unwraps a piece of gum and tosses the wrapper down, pretty much wherever. I can't tell you how this annoys me. You know, we don't have enough to do but pick up everyone else's junk.

I am listing the things I don't understand. Yes I was a kid and a slob, but that's over now. I'm the Mom, and, I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

1. Why do you throw your shoes directly in front of the door we are walking in? Is it because A) You like to hear me complain about it? B) You want to see someone trip? or C) You're lazy? D) All of the above
2. What is it with leaving socks on the counter? I don't get that at all. It makes no sense to me and frankly bugs the shit out of me.
3. You have a hamper, is it so hard to actually put the clothes in it? Why near it? Why not in it? It would take less than a second more. For real. Do it!
4. If you can't put away the clothes you have why are you asking me to buy more?
5. How many times total should I be prepared to ask you to put on your shoes before school? And if it is (like I have learned) more than five, would a recording work?
6. Do you believe those dirty dishes are going to carry themselves downstairs and while we're on the subject, do you remember me saying, "No eating in your room?"
7. Who do you love more, Me or Daddy?
8. It's me right?
9. Fine, I know it's him.
10. I love you more than anyone, Both of you. Even though your slobs.

Don't Postpone Joy

So I'm driving home from the Monday morning errands and there's a lot of traffic. I had to cut through a mall from my bank to get home. At the first stop sign I am behind a gold car and it has this bumper sticker that says, "Don't Postpone Joy." It totally made me smile. I've never seen that bumper sticker before. About bumper stickers, I wouldn't put them on my car but I do love reading them. All of them. Even those goofy ones like, "My kids an honor student at blah blah blah," or "My kid beat up your honor student," I like the anti-things I don't like ones. It makes me feel like the stranger in the car in front of me and I could be friends if we knew each other. I love the big PEACE ones. I like little Grateful Dead dancing bears and ones that tell me, "If I'm reading this, I'm driving to close." I'm going to tell you something, when I see those ones that have things I don't agree with I actually roll my eyes and think the people must be silly. Really, when I write it, it sounds ridiculous, I have a ton of friends with different views and I don't think they're silly at all, but those bumper sticker people, I'm sorry, I do. Just for a second. Then I remember they're just people who think differently. Chocolate and vanilla. Makes the world go 'round. :)

There are a number of ways to get home from the mall for me to take. I always take a back road. The gold car with the "Don't Postpone Joy," bumper sticker went right at the stop sign when I went straight. I drove through 2 more lights, up a huge hill, a stop sign and when I got to the next stop sign guess who I was behind again? "Don't Postpone Joy." They went straight. I took a left. I cut by my old house down to a light, went left and at a big intersection I was behind "Don't Postpone Joy" again! Three times in a matter of ten minutes and we didn't go the same way once.

This tells me two things. Number one, it doesn't really matter which way you take home from the mall, they all get there at the same time, and two, "DON'T POSTPONE JOY!"

I'm Pretty Sure....

I told myself last year, "No more sleepovers." As it was in full swing last night I remember those words going through my head. I think I need to write it down and put it on the refrigerator right next to the emergency numbers. Or maybe just get a permanent marker and write it on my arm. "No more sleepovers." It's so easy. And if somehow I didn't notice it was on the fridge, or the marker finally got washed off my arm, then at least I hope I have the common sense to not have 14 girls. Cause really, let's just call a spade a spade, that's just stupid. What the hell was I thinking? Well, I'll tell you. I tried to make it smaller, I really did. I actually limited it to 10 (which is still to many) but that was how many invitations were in the pack. I thought, "It's a lot, but I know all these girls. Nothing I can't handle." The thing is Saige has the car salesman gene. She just keeps pushing and pushing me for more girls. She has a reason for each one of them. Somehow we can't not invite whoever if so and so is coming. She just wore me down. I think when all was said and done she had invited 18 girls but thank God above some couldn't come.

So I was left with 14 screaming girls. Oh, and Chase and his buddy Ethan. Both around the same age as the girls so they wanted to hang out with them. Do you know what that lead to? "Moooooommmmmmmm!!!!!!!! Make Chase leave!!!! He's ruining my party!!!!" So that was a fun part too. Then Chase actually said to me, "Why can't we go down there with the girls?" I said, "It's her party Chase, she wants it to be just girls." You know what he said? "Yeah Mom, but you're the boss. You can make her." As if!! Seriously, these children have all the answers. I think I gave him some sort of exasperated answer and he said, "Why are you taking it out on me?" Folks, it would have taken more than boxed wine last night, if I wasn't responsible for all those kids, it would have been a vodka night three ways 'til Tuesday.

So basically, I did my part. I got the food out. Played the game they wanted to play, did the cake and then I disappeared upstairs. It was like gang mentality. At one point I walked down for something and they had actually thrown popcorn and pretzels all over the floor. All. Over. The. Floor. Really? Are you teenage boys? As I walked up the stairs I could hear them asking Saige to go get the school directory, I turned around to tell them, "No prank phone calls." and there were some going out in the back yard. "No outside." I said. Oh my God.

This was definitely an "Inmates running the asylum." kind of night. So please, those of you who know and love me. Set me straight next year. Remind me that I have thrown 21 birthday parties for these kids over the years. I have done my time. Let's take them for a nice long jog with Mommy for your birthday, how 'bout that? That'd be fun. Right?

???????????????????????????

Sometimes you just don't have much to say. I guess that's where I am right now. I guess an update of sorts would work , if anyone cares? I dunno.

So, sadly, Bon Qui Qui (bird #4) did I bypass bird #3 in the blog? I might have, because well, it's stupid. But anyway Bon Qui Qui (the first bird not named Olie) has gone on to a better place.
We did think, "This one's going to make it." I don't think anyone was allowed to touch him. One day, over Thanksgiving break, their (Bird's family, who shall not be named, to protect the not so innocent) little niece was there. She pointed in the cage and in a hushed 8 year old voice said, "Look! Bon Qui Qui is sleeping." Bon Qui Qui was lying on the bottom of the cage, little tiny bird legs pointing straight up to heaven. Yeah, not so much with the sleeping Little Sweetheart. I'm sorry Bon Qui Qui got the san (or is it sam, i've never really known) hell outta there. I don't know why, he lived right above the boxed wine. He should have been happy.

So there's that. Hey, Happy Birthday Lula! This was actually Saige's due date. She was kind enough to come early. She's a good egg.

So, I think one of the reasons I don't have much to say is because December is such a crazy month I really have a hard time focusing on anything but the actual day we are in. We have Saige's birthday, holiday stuff, Hanukah and Christmas. Both which are usually spent (as everyone does) with all different parts of the family at all different times. Saige's birthday starts with the actual day, then the dinner, then the party. Until that party is over (it's Saturday) I cannot even bring myself to think about anything else. It's just the way my mind works. It can only deal with so much at once. When It goes on overdrive, shutdown. So let's just make it til Saturday. That's my goal right now.

That's what I've got. A dead bird and a lot of holidays. Throw in therethat the only show I have watched this week is Greys Anatomy and it is turning out to be a huge bummer. I want some (boxed) wine. Sorry Mark B. Cue gagging noises.....now!

11 is A Lucky Number

I don't quite get how our daughter is turning 11 tomorrow. It just doesn't make sense to me. I feel like the last thing I can clearly remember is her climbing out of her crib and telling me she wasn't taking naps anymore. Time just disappears. Vanishes. Sometimes when they were little it seemed to go on forever some days. I have friends with little kids and I hear that all the time. The thing is, it's goes by in a flash. Not to dwell on that. This is her birthday and she is so excited. She has been singing for the last two weeks, "Soon I will be 11." On her birthday card I wrote, "Happy 7th birthday!" I can't even write it.
So Saige is a bright little star. When she was two years old a tarot card reader told me she would be my social one. Friends and travel and always been a step ahead of the game. That reader was right. She is so responsible. It shocks me sometimes. I remember my mother's mother, my "Dotsie," who I loved desperately telling me that your qualities skip a generation, so you are more like your grandmother than you are your mother. I don't know if she made it up. I loved thinking I had that connection with her though. I was little, but I remember that so well. So I like to think that Saige gets that too. I'm the flaky one. Her and my mother have it together. :) RIght Mommy? Yes, I am 39 and still call my mom "Mommy" sometimes. I can only hope that Saige will too.
So, tomorrow we start the festivities. Presents in the morning. Dinner out with friends. Sleepover this weekend with 18 of her closest friends. Fun. Fun. Fun.
Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Remember that? I hope they play it. I love having a girl Especially one so awesome as Saige.
Happy Birthday Gorgeous.
Can I kick it? Yes you can!

Useless and Self Serving

These were the words someone used to describe non business or work related blogs. Huh. Really? Useless? Maybe to the author of that statement, but you know what I'm thinking? Hey, here's a thought, don't click on. It's so easy. It's like when Howard Stern was on regular radio and people would complain about him. Don't turn that channel on. It's such a simple concept. I guess in the same respect everyone has the right to their opinion, even when they say it in a way to put someone else down. I remember that from grade school. Kids are mean. But it's cool, cause it only made me laugh. It gave me a big old giggle. Then after I giggled I had to of course call my girls and discuss. We like to share every inane thought that crosses our minds. I own it. I love my friends. I love to hear them laugh, I'll listen to them cry. When they say jump (although they never do, but if they did) I'd turn on Patience and start doing push ups. No! I'd jump, not off a cliff (unless it was Rick's Cafe, I'll do that any day of the week) or you know, out of a plane. I'd jump then. But you know that.
Reel it back in! What's my point? I think tonight, as we are winding down Thanksgiving weekend. Apparently the most traveled weekend of the year. Traveling for what? To see people, people you love. Why? Because there is a connection. People inherently want to be connected. To belong. To feel loved. So, if it's by flying across the country to see family, or meeting someone for lunch, or sending a letter, or poking someone on facebook, or reminding them, they're pretty (cause they are) or writing a blog and having your friends join in and connect that way, I say, be thankful. Don't hate. Love. It's so much easier.
Peace out.

Dear Blog,

So it was so crazy. Jen and my brother Mark were here. You know Blog, Mark, the gay one that all my friends want to make out with? Well, I was trying to take their picture but my camera wasn't working (dead battery) and they were posing kissing. It was taking a long time so they had to keep kissing. It got a little whacky blog. I don't think Lisa is going to like this one bit. One time my brother said he had a crush on a girl and Lisa could not quite wrap her head around that one. I'm sure all that wine they drank had something to do with it. For some reason they felt the need to drink a bottle before we went to the store. Mark wanted to visit Homegoods while he was here cause they don't have them in New York City. What do you think Blog we nicknamed the store? Come on, guess, Mark wanted to go...it's called Homegoods? Get it Just change one letter in there and you will see that are twisted. Do you think I meant the g to a f? Wrong!!
When we got back we ate dinner that Mark and Jen had lovingly prepared together while I made myself scarce and took a shower. It was chicken with onions, tomatoes and olives. I scraped off all those things and spread some spinach dip on top of mine. It was yummy. Good job you guys!!
Then we played Word Yahtzee, Mark won but only cause he cheated. Oh well.
Love, Amy

Happy Thanksgiving

Taking a cue from Sue . I want to count my blessings. Really, what is Thanksgiving? From what I recall in school, it's the day the pilgrims and the indians put aside their differences and had dinner together. What if all enemies, or frenemies or people who just didn't like each other did that? Like, I don't know..... the Israelies and the Palestinians ate dinner with each other? Just sat down ate some sweet potatoes and turkey and let bygones be bygones? If they could do it on the third Thursday in November, couldn't they do it on Friday too? Let's throw Saturday in there, just for kicks. Of course I know it's not that simple. People just don't do that. It's a fact Jack. So if they can't do it with others, maybe just count their own. That's what I tell Saige when she gets mad at I don't know what. "Count to ten and then acknowledge it."
I'm gonna count to ten myself.
1. My children. The light and loves of my life.
2. My family. You can't pick 'em, but my dice roll was double sixes.
3. My friends. Unconditional love. Nuff said.
4. Music. "I'd like to use a lifeline please Regis."
5. Yoga. "I'd like to phone a friend."
6. Laughter-
7. Unexpected kindness
8. Sunny days
9. Holidays
10. You, you and you. You all fall into one of those categories. Jen, you more than one.
Happy Thanksgiving.

In Daylights, In Sunsets....

In midnights, in cups of coffee.......

How do you measure a year in a life? Did you see Rent? I love this song. I think it is so thought provoking. How do you measure time? In the rise and descent of the sun? By the new season of Lost? The bringing out and putting away of your Christmas decorations? There are a million and three ways to measure time. It seems to slip by. Snake it's way so quickly that it's hard to remember how you got from here to there.

My daughter, my baby, my first born, is going to be eleven in nine days. The thought is insane to me. How on earth could she be eleven? Honestly, I don't get it. Where does it go?

I don't notice it on a daily basis. I guess life is just to busy. Things move so fast. What was normal a month ago is like a different lifetime. It's cold outside now. I remember wearing flip flops. There is still a raft outside next to the pool that was covered in snow two days ago. The days are so short. I remember looking at the clock at 8.30 and it still looked like daytime. It goes by at a speed faster than sound to me. It changes an morphs things and people at a pace so slow you don't see it happening but so fast you can't believe you missed it.

There is one person in particular that makes me notice the passage of time more than anyone. I think it's because I don't see her on a daily basis. I have known her since she was a tiny baby. She and Saige sat in their car seats next to each other while her mother and I tried to figure out how we were mom's. I have known her mom since I was in first grade. Now she is my daughters oldest and best friend. Mackenzie. I love her like she was my own. She and her sisters and her mom came over last night and I almost fell over. She is almost as tall as me. I remember her at every age, but specifically at 18 months peering in my fridge pointing out grapes. Now she is in 5th grade, has a boyfriend and wears her moms shoes.

So we are at T minus 9 and counting to the end of my daughters first decade.

Where does the time go?

Self Inflicted Pain

Thy name is Twilight.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if you enjoyed this movie but to me it was a punch to the gut. It actually hurt me.

Okay, this is how it went down. It was a major snow morning here in PA. Now I don't know if the news people said this was going to happen. I am never up late enough for the news. I do know that when I woke up this morning the world out my window was covered in school. The trees, the road, the lawn and there were big huge flakes dropping down. However there was no sign of canceled school. So we went to the bus stop. It never came. The roads looked bad. Saige wanted to go to school. I drove them. It was bad. A man had to help me down the hill. In my car. I was to afraid to take my foot off the break. I think he tried to sell me tires. He kept calling me miss. It was odd. So after a ton of slides and going around cars pulled on the side of the road that couldn't move I got the kids to school. My friend Lisa lives about one minute from there. I went there, home was to far. At this time we decided to go see Twilight that morning.

So we go. Lisa bought my ticket. So really, she was the big loser, twenty bucks and two hours of her life, right out the window. Buh Bye.

I won't go on and on about how awful it was, I will try to make it concise. It was like a bad after school special. It should have never hit the big screen. Most of the movie consisted of Bella making really wide eyes and shaking her head. Every time one of the vampires (except Alice, she was cute as a button) came on we actually would break out in laughter. It looked like they had been powdered and red lipsticked and shoved onto set. I wanted to leave. Lisa wouldn't let us. So during the film (if you could call it that) we cooked the idea to make the kids (ours) make a spoof of it on Monday when they have a half day. We spent the second half of the movie casting it. We are going to get one of those fog horn things (or whatever they're called), we are going to wear hats, we are going to get directors chairs. I'm thinking Lisa might put out a spread as the "Kraft table." I need to mention that. We need to get the lists from Saige and Adam who will be playing Bella and Edward respectively of what they NEED to have in their trailers. Adam will probably be good with some sushi. I know Saige is going to be a diva. She's going to want flavored water and I don't know, maybe some hard to find licorice or something. It's going to be so much fun.

When we walked out of the movie Lisa looked at me and said, "Seriously, my intelligence is insulted." All I could do was laugh. I have to say, I haven't laughed like I did during that movie in a long time. I laughed til I had to shush myself. I'm going to tell you when the dad, "Carlise," first came on screen I think my body actually shook and I had tears running down my face.

These are a few questions I have for the movie makers so Lisa and I can do a good job.
1. What was with Edwards B52 like hairstyle? What product are you using?
2. Although Edward "flew" up the hill with Bella on his back do you think Adam pulling Saige in a wagon would have the same effect?
3. What kind of shotgun was Bella's dad cleaning? (BTW- that was my hands down favorite scence, when Chief Swan was cleaning his shotgun and drinking beer. We can't wait for Jack to act that out. We're giving him real beer too!)
4. What on earth did you put on Edward's skin in the sunlight? Does Michaels Arts and Crafts store carry that?
5. The powder used to make the vampires faces white, just J&J right?
6. And the lipstick, oh that red lipstick, what brand? My friend Lula wants some for everyday use.
7. Was Carlise supposed to be funny?
8. Was Esme that girl from Grey's Anatomy who had to have facial reconstruction and then by accident faked a pregnancy cause she was crazy?
9. Who did Alice's hair? That was cute.
10. You're not making a second one, are you???

I still love Edward and Bella. I just have to go back to them in my head. That's going to be tough....

More Alike Than Different?

I say Yes!

Yes! (just like Russell in what movie, Lula?- Yes! Almost Famous)

How do would you describe yourself to a stranger who is blind?

5'3 1/2 ( I won't let go of that 1/2 eva!)
Tri-colored hair (skillfully done by Rachie)
Blue eyes
I'm nice. I am. Sometimes you might think I'm not, but I mean well.
My kids mean more to me more than anything on the whole earth.
I like people.
I like music.
I like to workout.
I used to love dogs. Then I didn't. I do again.
I can be selfish.
I'm a picky eater.
I like high heels.
I love my own personal people (friends and family) fiercely and unconditionally.
I have a slight (or more) case of ADD.
I am slightly obsessive.
I am scared of organized religion (I'm just being honest- no offense)

Okay, so the list could go on and on. The point is, although some of these are general. Some are kind of unique. Not everyone is a picky eater or is really (weirdly) into music or you know, scared of OR.

So a few years ago I went to this yoga workshop and before the actual yoga started they had us "journal" a bit. They had us write down a strength and a weakness. Then we had to turn to the person to our right (a stranger) and share our journal. It was a little daunting. You thought it was going to be just for you. I didn't want to share what I wrote. (This was obviously before the whole blog thing, where I discuss my dog pooping and dead rats.) Anyway, the girl next to me was a teacher in the studio and I was slightly in awe of her (obviously a long time ago, RIGHT TWIST??? Are you there yet?). It turned out we had the same weakness. I'm not going to say what that is right now. It's still a struggle. The interesting thing was that there were over 60 people in that room and probably about 2/3 of us had the same issues as the stranger sitting next to us. We were different sexes, sizes, races, religions and just different people. Same problems though.....

I find in this difficult time in our country and for some in life when you share your problems, or your triumphs for that matter. Whomever you are speaking to can usually relate. On some level we all deal with the same crap. When you open yourself up, even the slightest bit, it seems everyone can jump on the bandwagon. Even if it isn't exactly the same, it might show itself in another form. Some may over eat. Some may under eat. Some may worry to much, some not at all. Some may have kids that are to shy, some to over excitable but we all struggle with the same issues.

The important thing is to not try and one up your friend with your craziness. That's just rude, really. We all know who the craziest is. You. Yes, I mean you. You. Not me. You.

Twilight~The Movie

So it's a Tuesday night in my little town and my dog is making those weird heaves that make it look like he is about to throw up on my bed. I think it's just a hairball. Mickey is actually part cat. I'm pretty sure. He has many cat tendencies. He mews. He bats things with his paws and he gets hairballs. I don't know what the hell was going on in that pet store, but I love him just the same.
Well, except for when he "accidentally" poops in the kids playroom. He does that sometimes. It irritates the hell out of me. And then when he knows I am going to see it he waits outside the door for me to see it and say, "Bad dog. Outside." But before I can even get the, "Outside" out he runs for the door. I love him to pieces though. I like to pick him up and pretend (only for a millisecond, because EVERYONE knows I don't like 'em) that he's a baby. He likes it (kinda, not really) but so what? He poops in the playroom for God sake!

And then there's Lucy. Lucy who has cost us a fortune in vet bills because she might or might not have gotten her tail caught in the door and cause her metabolism is that which super models are made of. Meaning the vet can't understand why although she eats like a horse she still loses weight. Um, come look at my yard before the lawn guy gets here. Then you'll know why. Right Jen? You know what I'm talking about. Finger to nose.

Why are you wondering is the title of this post called Twilight the movie? I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know. I started it a while ago and I must have had something to say about that but since then my phone has rang, I have talked to Chase, I have listened to some music, read some e mail, played facebook, watched Saige do handstands, made lunches, folded laundry, brushed my teeth, answered e mail and cleaned up Mickey's poop. For the life of me, I don't remember what it was I was going to say about that. Hmmm....

When Worlds Collide

Do you remember that Seinfeld epidsode? Is it like so every episode of Seinfeld with a tag line, like the soup nazi, or a close talker, or George Cantsatnadya (isn't that our favorite Jen?) I just love the whole aspect of worlds colliding. George and I are kind of different. He didn't want his "worlds" to collide. To me, there is nothing better.

Like everyone, I have friends from all different periods of my life, childhood, Jr. High, High School, College, having babies, yoga, gym, blog land, my family and the present (namaste baby). These to me are all clear concise little categories that I can pretty much fit everyone into. Some overlap, my best friend from high school and I went to college together (uh oh), like that.

Now to me, there is nothing better than when these people meet. It kind of makes me think of when I start rearranging things in my house and I can move them from room to room and they go together. The common denominator is, well, me. I picked it all out. It all reflects me. It all fits together. Like when one of my new best friends Lisa came to Turkey with me to meet her (basically) polar opposite, one of my oldest best friends, BA and they totally hit it off. I love it. My worlds collide nicely. I think.

Where am I going with this? So I go to another one of my new best friends, (the brilliant-although she hates me to say it) Sue's blog. On there are comments from my Mom, a blog friend, Christy, and one of my very best friends from college, Jami. Seriously it just warmed the cockles of my heart. Is that the right term?

Let me tell you why. This whole blog thing is interesting right? Some say narcissistic (Sue will tell you that people love to throw that term around way to much), some say stupid, some say voyeuristic, whatever the case may be, it's like the book I am reading, Tribes. People who do the same things congregate together. The internet facilitates this. So where else on earth could my hardcore Republican friends and my used to be blog but now in real life friend say they want to make out with my gay brother? And when ever could have I introduced my Mom, Jami (college), Sue (yoga), Christy (blog) together? All such like minds. People who I love (only Christy might be freaked out by this, but isn't it obvious by now how much I love my friends?) It just delights me, that there are relationships building. There are thoughts being shared. There are people connecting. I couldn't love that anymore.

Yesterday on another blog friend known as Simple Answer she gave me a big shout out for being blog friends. It meant the world to me. It was an award that she passed along to me speaking of the proximity of each other through our internet world.

So new or old, internet or IRL, husband, brother, mom, or yoga buddy, I give you a few words from none other than......
Fatboy Slim

We've come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I have to celebrate you baby
I have to praise you like I should.

UB40 Said it Best

Well, except for the rat was in my family room.
Yup.
(insert me screaming)

So, Saige and I are home having a lovely night together. We watched "Penelope" (with Christina Ricci) very cute. Then my phone rang and it was one of my best high school friends who I haven't talked to in a while. So I went downstairs to clean the kitchen and catch up with her. I was turning off all the lights to go upstairs and Lucy (my big crazy german shepherd dog) starts pacing around the door. I let her out for the last time before bed. She races outside like a bat out of hell. I see her running in circles for a minute then she ran in the house. I had all the lights off. It was dark. She had something in her mouth.

"Drop!" I screamed. Although it could have easily been a big rawhide bone. I couldn't really see. I just knew it wasn't good though. Just knew. Paige was still on the phone. She has dogs too. She said, "Are you okay?" By this time I had turned on the light. I let out a blood curdling scream For real. I did. I still feel sick. Saige came running down. "What? Mommy, are you okay?" I think I just kept repeating the words, "Ok, ok, ok, ok," about a hundred times. I threw a dish towel over the humongous rodent. I got the dust pan. I tried to scoop it in the trash can. I only managed to move the dish towel.

Scream
Scream
Scream

I'm sorry. This is beyond gross. What do I do? I call my neighbor. She's a bit tougher than me. She comes over with her daughter and a shovel. Strangely enough the rat doesn't bother her at all. She scoops it in the trash can and then takes the whole thing outside and tosses it over the fence.

Thank you Nancy and Emily, we are forever in your debt. We love you.
I am already wondering what section of the Hallmark store would have a card for this, should I look in pet deaths or just plain thank yous. "Dear Friend, Thank you for removing the dead rat off my oriental rug. You are aces in my book. Thank you for leaving the shovel were the rodent lay so I could spray rug cleaner on it. Thank you for coming out in the rain in your pjs. Thank you for owning a shovel." Something like that, maybe?

It's A Bittersweet Symphony.....

So it's quite obvious I am happy about Obama. You know, by the pink Obama banner that flashes constantly on the side of my very low rent blog. I don't know anything about html codes and overriding things and what have you, so my blog is simple. That's actually neither here nor there. Except for simple can be good sometimes....

Here's the deal. I loved that Obama got elected. It was one of the happiest days I have had in a long time. I felt a sense of hope in not only the world but within myself that I have been missing. The only thing is that whole California deal. That bummed me out. They decided to make gay marriage illegal.

It seemed so odd to me. Here on this day of renewed hope and a showing of equality and some scary people rip away what should be a basic right for anyone. I just don't get it. I don't understand. Marriage is a slippery slope no matter who you are. Why should different sexes get rights same sexes don't? The divorce rate is what, one in two? Yeah, we've really got it mastered. I get it. Not.

The thing that boggles my mind most is when strangers care someone else is gay. I don't understand, it seems so simple to me. If someone has found someone else to love. Why, seriously why would anyone judge that? A basic human need is to be loved and cared about. If you don't have enough going on in your life that you need to judge someone else, I'm thinking, I don't know, get a hobby. Paint, macrame, maybe bang out some of those rock pets, but seriously butt out of other's people business. Cause guess what? It's just that. Other people's business. I'm willing to bet if you starting digging into any of those haters that went to so much trouble to overturn that California law you'd find some serious nonsense. It always seems that the people who protest the most have the craziest shit hidden in their closet. I'm just sayin'.


So tomorrow there are rallies all over the country to fight for gay marriage to be legal in every state. Whether you care enough to go or not, I think it's nice to at least be aware it's going on. Because knowledge my friends, is power.

I think if we all spent a little more time lovin' and a little less time hatin' we might all be a little happier. That's just me.

You've Probably Seen This

Oprah had it on the other day. I dvr Oprah (like I do any show I might watch) and watch it when I have time or feel like it, which honestly isn't that often. So I'm always a bit late to the game. I also tend to FAST FORWARD through much of the show that I find boring, those without ADD (Marc) find this somewhat irritating. I don't get it. I'm only trying to help. I am weeks behind in Greys Anatomy. And (I'm sorry Lula!) I lost Lost a season ago. Watching tv mostly bores me, there are a few exceptions, but I won't share because it's embarrassing. I do love Weeds. I talk about it all the time. I think that Jenji guy who writes it is a genius. "Little house's made of ticky tacky....." Anyway, minds wandering. Do you know I'm writing this only for you? I know you understand me. You know who you are.

So I love this You tube video. I also love The Black Eyed Peas and Fergalicious because she rocks the house. Say it like YOU do Jen.

Anyway, so she (Oprah) had Wil I Am on doing his song and it just made me smile. It's a nice thought, right? It's a new day. That implies that yesterday is gone. Today is the day. It starts now. And not just cause Wil I Am said it, cause it's true. Do you think his Mom intended him to be Wil I Am, or just William? A my. That's not cool. You know when I was thirteen I signed a note I had written to my best friend BA "Aimee." It was going to be the new me. The French me. Until her dad (the inspector who used to bust us for EVERYTHING) found it and made fun of me. It is 20 years later (give or take-;)) and he still calls me Aimee with an accent. He's just screwing with me right? He doesn't really think that's my name, or maybe he does........ It's a new day.

You Know, Whatever....

So I had this whole (what I really thought) clever post about religion, or lack there of, however you might see it. It included a Youtube video of Mason Jennings and my very favorite, Jack Johnson singing 'I Love You and Buddha Too.' This is a little ditty I like to turn on the IPod when I am thinking my children need a little religion.

I'm gonna to tell you a secret though, they ask for it. Not only my two little angels, but their friends too. Every Wednesday night on the way to gymnastics (which I am the "to" carpool mom for, I get this as a request. The other big favorite is Bruises. I think they like that because it speaks of Handstands..... "I tried to do handstands for you. I tried to do headstands for you. But every time I fell on you. Every time I fell."

I don't think my amazing ten year old and her awesome friend understand the meaning of this little tune. I'm happy about that. Unfortunately at some point mother nature and father time will unfold the harsh realities of love. Lessons to be learned. Can't get out of it. All I can do is try to teach self confidence. I believe that to be my main job. Believe in yourself. So when they ask for both songs, I always play "I Love You and Buddha too," first. Hoping that it will play until we are almost there. Silly, right? I love hearing them sing it though. Naming all those different Gods, Jesus, Rama, Krisha, Buddha, the whole lot. And they ask me questions. I love love love explaining (way more than I like talking about the Swedes who make a colony where Wilmington Delaware is, who the hell cares about that?) that people all over the world pray to different Gods. That is doesn't matter what or who you believe in, as long as you believe in yourself. At least that's what I think. I've been known to be wrong though.

This went off track (as per usual) what I was really going to talk about was, what's the feeling on Box 'O Wine? I introduced a few friends to it this past weekend. I am a big fan. In fact, I think I am going to form some sort of group on Facebook called "Fans of Box O Wine" and see if I can get any joiners. Sue, Rachel, Lisa, Christina, Heather and now Jami and Kathy are you with me (Jen, I already know you're there, duh) And Mark, I think I know where you stand (right next to the kitchen counter :)) And let me add in, Meredith, I did do that fb blog thing today and Lula and Christy, I know you're fb junkies, what's one more group? And Rock, although I believed you to be above boxed wine. It would be my honor to have you co-chair with me. I just got this book called Tribes that talks about sites like Facebook and how people inherently want to be in groups, "tribes," if you will and the internet has eliminated geography as an obstacle. In simple(answer) terms, you could live in Amman and be in my Box O WIne tribe. Hell, I'll send you one. :)

Check out Sue's blog "What Got Me Going Today." She's way smart. I'm just sayin.

The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf

Monday mornings. They can be tough for lots of people. I usually always drive my kids to school on Mondays, just to give them a little extra time to chill in the morning. They are usually very busy over the weekend and need it. This weekend was no exception. A big sleepover at the gymnastics center with a bunch of friends. Playing all day Sunday. Saige was up very late working on a Science project. So when 7.20 rolled around this morning and Chase came downstairs I was a little surprised. I was going to let him sleep until 8. Right away though he started with the, "I don't feel good." Ugh. Not today. "I think you're just tired," I said. "No, " he insisted, "my stomach hurts." I have to be honest. I wasn't buying what he was selling. The Monday morning blues. The "sickness." It's called, not enough rest. That's what I am thinking. I had a lot I was planning on doing this morning. Being sick is one thing but telling me you are and when you're not is a whole other. I told him, "Buddy, I have a lot going on today, are you sure?" Oh, he was sure all right. He let me cancel an appointment, call my Mom to come over, agreed there would be no playing after school with anyone, agreed he would go to sleep for a while, my sweet and precious angel was ready to sign over his soccer cleats and cell phone to not have to go to school. I knew though, but what as a mother do you do? So I drove Saige to school and came back with the requisite Ginger ale and tucked him in his very comfy bed and told him he could have some toast later. Fifteen minutes later he was downstairs asking my Mom to play Scattegories with him while I went out. Hmmmm...... His stomach hurt of course, but he was well enough for a little game. I came home a couple hours later with bags full of groceries. He saw stuff he liked. It was time to come clean. Coming clean is the hardest part, right? You know at some point you are going to have to, you're not sure when. You can't keep up the charade forever because eventually you are going to get hungry or bored or something that is going happen to make the jig be up. So my baby walked over to me and with his huge eyes staring up at me said, "Mom, my stomach doesn't really hurt. I was tired. I didn't want to go to school today." Although happy with the honesty I was a little upset. "I told you how important this morning was to me Buddy, you let me cancel that appointment." He nodded. "I'm sorry." he said. So we made a turkey sandwich, turned on a show he liked and chalked it up as a personal day. He is my baby after all.

All My Life.........

I'm not going to finish that song, because, well....it's goofy. There are a couple of you out there that could sing the next line. And let me tell you, I had the best time hanging with you this weekend.

So a bunch of my sorority (yes, that is what I had said) friends came from near and far to hang out and catch up for a night. There's nothing like old friends right? Is it just me or when you are with old friends do you go right back to how you were with them when you were with them all the time? It doesn't really matter how much time has passed, how many miles they live away, little kids, crazy lives, the good, the bad, the ugly. I feel like I could walk into a room with these girls and declare my new career as a serial killer and they would find a way to make it positive. They would hold my hand and rub my back and tell me everything was going to be okay. And I would believe them. Cause I always do. Then we would turn on the tunes, crack open some wine and laugh about that party at Delta Pi twenty years ago when we danced on the bar and couldn't remember how we got home.
The thing is too, and I'm sure everyone feels this way about their friends, but honestly, I love to say this, it's one of my favorite Lisa lines, but, "You're so pretty." All of you. Seriously. It's crazy. Remember those days of big (Huge, I mean Huge) hair? And yellow pantsuits (yikes-Denise!), and crazy flowered jeans that get passed around, lot's of hairspray and to much party? It was fun. One of my very bestest friends (not from college, although her husband was a Phi Sig brother) likes to tell this story about when her three children were very little. She calls it the time of "walkin' and whining." And it was hard. So so hard. Her mother in law said, "Appreciate these days, they are the best of your life!" Christina (in an incredulous moment of disbelief) said, "These are the best days? I'm sorry, did you ever go to college? Those were the best days!." We all love our kids. They are awesome, but those college days were some serious fun too. I feel so lucky to have had them and to still have my friends. All of you.

I gonna miss you the most scarecrow(s). You too Jen, you just weren't there for the Pix (get it?) That's a clue to the title. :)

I'm Not As Stupid As I Thought

There are many times my fifth grader brings homework in and starts talking about it and I stare at her stupidly. I admit it, in many things, I am not smarter than a fifth grader. I don't know different kinds of soil. I can't for the life of me tell you the exact order of every species in the food chain. Really isn't it just, Man then Lion then everything else? And I do know that the lion is really the head of the whole food chain (them and those pesky sharks) because they can eat us any day of the week. So in reality, if you don't count weapons, we're kind of low on the food chain. Couldn't one of those tiny poisonous frogs sting us then a snake eat us? Maybe that is in the text books and I just don't know it. Anyway, tonight Saige wanted to understand percentages. Ask any of my friends, this is one of my special gifts. I am good with numbers. I can figure it out in my head in seconds. Nothing fancy like Algebra or Trig, but simple multiplication, division, percentages, they come very quickly to me. Saige, is not that confident in math. She is a wiz at researching something, doing a project, more creative thinking. Chase, strangely enough, is good at math. It's something with a definite answer. If you can memorize, you can do it. Although by degree and a fair amount of talent I could be called an artist I feel more comfortable with math. If you take your time, there is always a correct answer. There aren't two ways to 50% of 100. It's always 50. Yesterday, tomorrow and a 1000 years from now. It will be 50. There is something comforting in that. Being able to figure it out. Not many things in life are that simple. Not at all. Not by a long shot. So tonight during homework time, when I not only knew how to do it, but how to explain it too, I felt great. One thing down, 1,678,985 to go. Fingers crossed.

America Today

Shuffle

Sometimes, like I think it is a magic eightball I will ask my IPod a question and put it on shuffle. This is true. It is just another crazy thing (that might not be cool) that I have decided to share. It's a little like that IPod game that people have posted about where there are like 25 questions and you shuffle your IPod and take the names of the songs as the answers. Lula has done this. It's fun. Anyway, I did my little game this morning. Which is unusual, I have been stuck on the same list for quite a while. It's like I need to hear certain songs. Today I decided to get all crazy and shuffle. The first song that came on was one of my favorites,
The Fugee's version of No Woman No Cry.
A dedication to all the refugees worldwide
One time say, say, say
I remember when we used to sit in the government yard in Brooklyn. Observing the crookedness as it mingled with the good people we meet. Good friends we had,
Good friends we've lost along the way.
In this great future you can't forget your past, So dry your tears I say And to my peeps who passed away,
No woman, no cry, no woman no cry, say say say.
Hey little sister don't shed no tears
No woman no cry say say say.
I remember when we used to rock in a project yard in Jersey, And little Georgie would make the firelight,
As stolen cars passed through the night
And then we'd hit the corner store for Roots, paper, and brew. My drink's my only remedy
For pain of losing family, but while I'm gone Shorty,
Everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be alright, Fugees come to the dance tonight, everything's gonna be alright, O everything's gonna be alright, The gun man's in the house tonight,
But everything's gonna be alright.

[CHORUS]
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah

[CLEF]
No woman no cry, no woman no cry.
Hey, little sister, don't shed no tears
No woman no cry say say say.
I remember when we used to sit in a government yard in Trenchtown.
The hypocrites as they mingled with the good people we meet. Good friends we had Oh good friends we've lost
Along the way hey.
In this great future,
You can't forget your past so dry your tears I say
And no woman no cry. No woman no cry say say say. Hey, little sistser, don't shed no tears
No woman no cry and to my peeps who passed away

[CHORUS]
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah
Oh ah oh ah

I do take it as a sign. Everythings gonna be all right. I say this as the eternal optimist. It's what I believe.
If you have not seen it, link to Christy's post today. The Yes We Can video, it rocks, just like she does.
Peace.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love You, Tomorrow......

It's only a day away. Hey, that was like a show tune. Did you like that little ditty? Cause we all know what tomorrow is, right? It's not Halloween (that's over), it's not Thanksgiving (there are still some livin' turkeys). Right? It's get yourself out and vote day. Pick a guy and mark your ballot. Now this is just me, but I truly think if your kids are off school tomorrow, which many are. I kind of think (only my very humble opinion) that you should bring them with you to vote. Because we all know there are many people in this country who don't vote. I'm sure they have their reasons, I don't really understand them but you know, no judgement. I'm just saying, lead by example. Show your kids, this is what you should do. You should brush your teeth, try your best to eat right and get some exercise daily and VOTE!!!
Vote because you have the right to. Vote because your choice does count. Vote because it's important.
Okay, I'm going to hop down now and start sharpening my number 2's. ;)

There Is A Place.......

That's just the first line to this song that I totally love. Like many songs I'm not sure how I found it. Music is such a huge part of my life. I don't know why. Sometimes I just like how a song sounds, sometimes I like the words, sometimes I like the music of it and every once in a while I like every single thing about it. Do you ever have those songs? The very first time you listen to it you know you love it? You could be 2/3 of the way through and you know you will listen to it fifteen more times before the day is done? Sometimes it only takes one line in the whole song to make me know this. This particular song has that line it, but as a fun little game for probably no one but myself I won't say what the song is, who the artist is or what my favorite line is. If you are so inclined, or have ever downloaded any of the songs I have listed before, this one is on it. Ya know, if you're alone and bored and have nothing else to do. :) The interesting part is sometimes I will listen to a song what seems like a hundred times or more and just love it and suddenly on like the hundred and fiftyith time I will understand it and it's like an epiphany. This makes me happy. But I'm simple like that.

The song game, favorite lines? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

"If I could name you in this song, would it make you smile and sing along? Cause this is the goal to get into your soul........."
That's one of Saige's favorites....

Putting On A Show

Halloween is such a show, right? It's my favorite holiday at school. I love all the costumes. I love the little parade and the creativity in each child. As my hands down favorite child costume, thought up by the child is my friend Kathy's daughter. Her daughter thought up her costume on her own. I don't know how. I would love more than anything to be privy to the thought process that went through this 4th graders head at decision time. She was Steven Tyler. I mean come on! How much does that rock? I love it.

My own two little angels were adorable to, S and her friends were some devils and some other things. To them though it seemed this year more than any, Halloween was way more about the social aspect of it. The being together. Candy didn't seem to really play any part in it at all that I could see. They went to one friends house directly after school. They got ready, they trick or treated together. They giggled and laughed and had their arms around one another. They are a group. They love each other. They have inside jokes and favorite songs and a seemingly deep seated understanding of each other already, I guess cause they have been together for years. It makes me so happy. Right now all five of them are snuggled somehow in S's room, sound asleep, just resting up for whatever they decide might come next.

And then my little boy. Not so little anymore. 4th grade. Also, in a group of friends. To cool this year. He and his buddy were Red Mohawk Guy and Bam. From the picture that is stuck on here because I cannot get into my flickr acct no matter what I do. C decided he wanted a red and green mohawk, that was the crux of his costume. I did run around like a maniac trying to get him the studded bracelet and the skull ring but he lost interest in those. Those boys were out for candy. The more the better. They had a blast and someone even gave each of the 150 kids one of those giant Hershey bars. That was the main score of the night.

Meanwhile my friend Lisa and I sat and handed out candy and tattoos and oohed and aahed over the costumes. When the trick or treaters started to wind down I did tricks for her, to entertain her, to make her laugh, cause that's what she does for me. ;)

Why I Love You

...........and you know who you are. Each one of you.
I love you because you are you. I think every person comes into our lives for a reason. I know there is some saying about that. I should look it up but I don't feel like it. I know the long and short of it is that each person that enters your life serves some sort of purpose. Whether it be for a short time for a lesson you need to learn or forever because they are supposed to be there. Man I should look that up. The thing is, my personal relationships, my family, my friends mean everything to me. I feel that even in bad times I am so lucky to have you. You. To have a shoulder, to have your hand. To make me a hummus wrap when that is what I need. I would do it for you too, just so you know. To jump on that train. A hug. To call at just the right time. You are Super, you are. The craziness of how people you are close to seem to know when you need them astounds me. A chance run in with an old friend, a phone call from someone you don't expect, an e mail. The unconditional love that surrounds me literally takes me to my knees and gives me back the breath that I feel I am losing. If you are reading this, chances are, I'm talking to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you, you the most.

Okay, I did look it up: and this is my favorite part,


Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these... it might have been.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

The Lion, The Cableguy and The Speakeasy

This is a true story. It's somewhat embarrassing because it shows that sometimes my judgement is not spot on. Sometimes one thing just leads into another. I tend to trust people. I never look for the bad. I know so many people that do. As soon as they meet someone they can pick them apart ten ways 'til Tuesday. Not me. I just assume everyone has good intentions. I worry about hurting people's feelings all the time. When I think or know that I have hurt someone it destroys me. So to avoid that I just try to be nice to everyone. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes.........not so much.
So many years ago Marc and I lived in a fun little house near here. We had lots of parties and lots of friends. There was usually some person or another living with us, depending on their situation. It never seemed odd to us, we were all about the more the merrier. At this time I used to make these big stuffed animals and sell them to people and to stores. There was a big red fox that my brother Chris named R.F. Chickenchaser. And there was a giraffe and an elephant and some others and a brand new one, a lion. No one had seen the lion yet. I had just finished designing the first one and had made him and he was sitting in my living room one day.
So I am at home waiting for the The Cable Guy to get there. I think he was hooking up cable in additional rooms, I can't really remember. So he comes to the door and comes in and we start chatting. He notices the lion and immediately starts asking me all sorts of questions about it. It was a long conversation. I felt obligated to ask him if he wanted a drink. That's what you do when someone comes visiting right? He says, "Sure, I'll take a vodka tonic." Hmmm.. I really had been thinking more along the lines of water or a soda, but if that's what he wants, okay. So yes, I mix him up a vodka tonic. Which he tosses back so fast and asks me for another. It seemed odd, but like I said, Marc and I were used to colorful people. As a side note, I feel the need to add in that I had two huge german shepherds. If anyone ever even looked at me cross eyed my male dog Buddy would have ripped them apart, so I never felt in any danger at all. Just thought that needed to be said. So I gave him another drink. He sipped this one slightly more slowly as he started telling me about his weekend. At this point for some reason we had walked outside, I don't know why, but he noticed we had a hot tub. He starts telling me about his weekend. He was like, "Man, you've got a hot tub? I'm going to be in a hot tub tonight. You know, eating shrimp, doing coke." Wait, did the cable guy just tell me he was doing coke tonight? While he is in my backyard drinking his third vodka tonic? It finally clicks in to me that this is slightly abnormal. It's not really how the whole cable guy visit should be going. I want him to leave now. I don't want to be rude though. So somehow I get us back inside. He's finishing up whatever the hell he was doing. Then he says, "Listen, my kid (you have a kid???) would really like that lion." Um hm... "Can I buy it off you?" As politely as I can I tell him no. It's the first one. I need to take it to my stores. He can't have it. "I don't care how much it costs he says, name it." "No. It's really not for sale." I just want him to leave now. "How about free Showtime for life?" Huh, interesting. Free Showtime. How does that even work? What if we move? Will Showtime be everywhere or just the living room? That was what was actually going through my head but I shook my head no. "I don't want to get in trouble." I said. "No trouble, I do it all the time" he said. Enough already. Get out. So he didn't get the lion. I didn't get free Showtime, but I'm pretty sure that night he ate some shrimp and did some coke had a good buzz going into it. There you have it Jen. I'm an idiot. Check.

A Bedtime Story For Jen-Part One

Many years ago, before kids, before my two stupid dogs when I had two smart ones, Marc and I lived in a another house. Not far from where we live now. We were young but strangely not a whole lot different than we are today. Marc worked a lot I spent my time making things to sell and playing with my friends. This was way before I ever knew Rachel or Lisa or Christina. This was in the days of Jen and Ashley and Suzy. All who live far away now and I miss them everyday. This particular little ditty is about Jen. Ah Jen, my lurker friend. My sorority sister from college, my fellow white russian drinker. I have some kooky schemes now but back then I was slightly even wackier, if you could believe this. They weren't quite as elaborate as some of todays hair brained ideas, but stupid non the less. Jen was with me through most of them.......
Jen was there when I decided to paint the outside of my house by myself. Seriously, she sat there smoking a cigarette watching tv as I came up with the idea, she sat there smoking a cigarette watching tv when I drove to buy the paint and she sat there smoking a cigarette and watching tv when I put the first ill fated swipe of paint outside my doorway. Then she left. This project bored her. I never did finish that painting, much to Marc's annoyance because after a couple hours it bored me too. I always have loved doing things half assed. It's one of my special gifts. Jen also was the other part of my funniest American Home Video team that I have mentioned before, I made her fall "accidentally" on the pool that was covered in grime. Then I mistakenly taped another show over it. Whoops. Jen and I wrote letters to anyone we could think of. We wrote to a potato chip company one time because we found an odd shaped chip in our bag and we were disgruntled. In it we included a picture of the strange object with Jen's long red fingernail pointing at it. We wrote to Cosmopolitan magazine with a list of Ten Why Don't You's, that we thought was so funny and so inappropriate we are quite sure they must have banned us from ever darkening their doorstep should we try. Remember those lists? Do they still have them in there? Like, why don't you draw a bath for your boyfriend when he comes home from work? Why don't you eat less and lose ten pounds before summer? Those lists annoyed us so we made up our own. Why don't you walk down the street with your skirt stuck in the back of your underwear? Why don't you intentionally hide your husbands wallet and then watch him lose his mind before work? Why don't you replace all carbohydrates in your diet with candy corn for a week? The list goes on and on.
The whole point of this post is that Jen moved to Virginia years ago to teach children. I miss her terribly. We have a weekend coming up with a bunch of our sorority sisters and we were chatting on facebook last night about it and I mentioned something that happened in that time period and she asked me to blog it...............
The Lion, the Cable Guy and the Speakeasy.....stay tuned.

"Bring It Yo"-said the Evil Elf

Wednesday night was The Bates Motel night. It's this scary place with a haunted hayride and a haunted house and a haunted corn maze. Lots of haunted things..... That kind of stuff scares me. A few years ago Marc and I took the kids to a haunted house and Chase and I left early, they had to let us out the back door. It was scary. I have successfully avoided such places.......until now. Lisa decided we should take the kids. Fine! She does all the leg work. Goes online, orders us up some VIP tickets so there is no waiting in line. Let me tell you, worth every cent. Even on a weeknight this place is packed. Packed with family with screaming kids, smart ass kids (like ours) drunk teenagers, the whole nine yards. For a mere thirty extra dollars a ticket we don't have to deal with any of that. We just march all 8 of us up to the front of the line and go first. Yes! (said exactly like the guitar player in Almost Famous says when asked if he wants to see the kid feed his snake a rat). Yes! Sign me up. So we go on the hayride first. I have the stupid position of the very back of the cart thing. This is where all the scary people jump on and scare you. You know what I did? I just didn't look at them. No engaging. I am so good at that to begin with, it really came in handy. Next was the haunted corn maze. This was kinda scary, Lisa held my hand the whole time. She had Benny (her 7 yr. old) in her other hand. He kept yelling, "Bring it Yo!" I, once again, just kept my eyes closed. Ben was getting irritated with us because we weren't moving fast enough for him. He was yelling at us. I swear he was scarier than the wolf guy that was kinda heavy breathing in my ear. Scary, but somehow...interesting. :) Just kidding baby. . So we went by this little crazy looking mean man called the evil elf. So jokingly, I referred to Ben as the evil elf, I got yelled at, AGAIN. Then we went over this bridge and this old woman was sitting there yelling out insults, she said to Chase (my precious angel), "Were you the last one in your family to be born without a tail?" For some reason this threw Lisa and I into convulsive laughter. Ben got mad again! He was losing patience. I will tell you (cause there is small chance of Saige reading this until many years from now, which is really the whole point of this to begin with) that her and Adam (Lisa's 12 yr. old) were quite the couple. He had his arm around her. At one point Lisa looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, are they on a date?" Eyes closed, Trudge forward. Last stop haunted house. This was supposed to be the scariest part of it. I held on to Lisa's hand and started in. It wasn't that bad. The hayride was scarier. At one point this big clown came out and Lisa made a funny comment and it made me laugh so hard that I couldn't be scared at all anymore. I called Marc as soon as we were done to tell him how I made it through. He was so proud of me. Now the next Halloween event is my pick. It's face painting and pumpkin picking. That's not scary at all.

I Did Not Know That

Did you know that you are not allowed to take pictures in the Halloween store? We didn't and so we got in trouble. We, as the adults (Lisa and I). I was so bummed out because I love going in the Halloween store and trying on every mask I can. I am so not a germ o phobe that the grossness of it doesn't even occur to me (until now that is). I like to wait for whoever I am with, my kids or friends until they are not paying attention to me and then surprise them with something like this......

Lisa was easy to do it to, she was occupied with her phone and totally distracted so everytime she looked up Saige and I would surprise her with a new disguise. Saige is good at it too.....

I was so loving that she chose the Barack mask with her "Can't touch this" t-shirt on. Gave me a giggle.
Until the girl with the devil horns came over and burst our bubble. "No pictures!!!" she yelled at us. I had on a big troll mask that went halfway down my body at the time. So of course I start laughing. Saige just turned around and walked away. Lisa was trying to be the adult and quickly apologized but asked her why? The devil girl said because if we put the pictures up on the internet no one would know if we bought them or not. Hmmmm? I'm sorry, I don't follow. I don't understand that. I didn't say anything though, because I was dressed somewhat like a hobbit and I didn't want to make anymore trouble. So we dumped our masks and went to look for the boys (all four of them). The boys were supposed to be collecting things they need for their costumes. They weren't. They too were being reprimanded by the (poor) devil girl. We hurried over to see what was going on, they were trying on the boobs. Which, sadly, gave us a small chuckle, but that girl didn't think it was funny. Not even a little bit.

"Dirty Fighting"

That's the street term for the new class that My friend Lisa and I are doing. The real name is Pekiti Tirsia. It's a Filipino form of martial arts. But see, the fun part is you learn it with weapons.Pekiti-Tirsia roughly translates as "to cut into small pieces, up close." There are big long sticks and Knives and little blade things. For our purposes everything is rounded and taped off. It's a good thing too, because it's rather awkward in the beginning. I am the first to admit how uncoordinated I am. Coordination is a funny thing, I can do all sorts of fancy tricks that involve bending and twisting and a whole lot of balance but when it comes to using both my hands and my feet in a moving stance while wielding weapons, well, that's a whole other ball game. You should see me dance, which you won't, unless we are out and we have had quite a few cocktails. Lisa is coordinated. She does step class. She wins the over 18 dance contests at Bar Mitzvahs, like they're going out of style. I swear this is true, when we were in Turkey she would be practicing her dance "moves" a la the "drop back at all hours of the night. I'd be fast asleep and she'd be jamming out to No Diggity, No Doubt. In this class though we were a little like dumb and dumber. We could never both seem to understand the same move at the same time. Our poor teacher. Rob. Rob has a sleeve tattoo and wears a skull ring and looks like he enjoys getting his party on, but apparently he is in the upper echelon of this fighting form. This is coincidentally (from yesterdays post) the same form of fighting that Matt Damon uses in the Bourne Identity movies. Funny, first Gary Busey kept popping up, now Matt Damon. So Rob was very patient. Lisa and I were laughing at ourselves because why do you think we would need to learn to fight with weapons? I don't know. Self defense perhaps? We learned about someone coming at you with a knife, how to hold a knife in either the "heaven-knife up" position or "Hell-blade down" position. They have fancier names too, but I wouldn't begin to know how to spell them yet. I wasn't sure Lisa was going to like it because it wasn't a huge workout. She loved it though, she said she felt like Angelina Jolie training for a movie. And I am one to believe everything happens for a reason, even when you choose that thing to happen. So poor Rob, we'll be back next week. Watch out out there. It's not just yoga anymore kids.