K. I don't like surprises. That's the truth. Well, I don't like surprises in the form of presents. I want to know what they are ahead of time. I need to make sure I will have the right reaction. Faking reaction is not one of my special gifts. The one kind of surprise I do love is that in the form of people. A couple years ago Marc threw me a "surprise" birthday party. I totally didn't know, really, kinda, sorta, let's move on. The biggest surprise of it though was when I walked in and two of my very best friends in the whole world who live states away were there. Now that was a surprise. Especially since I had been talking to Ashley, who lives in South Carolina, all morning about whether Marc was having a party for me. She was insistent that she knew nothing and then she went awol on me. Next thing I know she's standing in my kitchen. Good surprise. That being said, I usually know every gift I am getting. When I was little I would unwrap and re wrap. As an adult I have not gotten any better. I will call credit card companies and find out the last thing charged, I will snoop, I will ask friends, nothing is to much for me. But really, this last thing almost goes beyond even me, obviously almost is the operative word. If you read this you know I have two kids, Saige, my daughter is very mature, responsible, type A, can keep a secret, just like my husband Marc. Chase, my son, is not quite as responsible, not type A, has a hard time with the present secrets, just like me. So on April 20th, and I remember the date, cause it's a special day, just Chase and I were hanging at home. Chase comes in and sees me on the computer and says, "I know what Dad's getting you for your birthday."
"I can't," he says, but I can tell he wants to. So I push a little.
"Yes you can baby, I won't tell, I promise."
He shakes his head, "I promised I wouldn't tell. I can't say it out loud."
"Let's play hangman then," I say, "that way, you won't be saying it out loud." I told you, nothing goes beyond me to find out.
"Ok," he agrees to this.
Now as a side note, I don't have the best feeling about this because Chase can't spell for shit. Honestly, I know this will go nowhere because of his complete and total lack of interest in anything academic, but I figure it's worth a try and maybe I can wear him down a little.
As I figured hangman is just a mess. It makes no sense. I couldn't get frustrated though because I don't want him to get mad at me. So I try a different tactic.
"Hey, how's it coming with those crazy bones you like so much?"
"Mom, can we go to Five Below? Please. I'll pay for them with my own money." he's excited now. I've got him right where I want him.
"You don't have to pay for them with your own money baby," I say, "but you know what I want to know."
He's so conflicted. He wants to go get more of those crazy bones and he wants to tell me, but he feels bad. I let him off the hook. I say, "Don't worry about it, you don't have to tell me. We'll go anyway." He is relieved, but still egging me on, "Well, maybe I'll tell you next week." Come on Chase, I'm trying to be nice here. Let it go.
So we are in the car on the way back from Five Below, he is knee deep in crazy bones and doesn't he just blurt it out? I swear, I think he just couldn't hold on to it anymore. He had to tell me. I promised I wouldn't say a word. Since then (cause my birthday is at the end of this month, mark your calenders) he has given me updates. I'm not even kidding, unsolicited updates.
So last night, Marc walks in with both kids and says, "So, Chase told you what I'm getting you, huh?" OH MY GOD! He couldn't even keep the secret he spilled. We're not banking on any jobs in the secret service for him.
And that Marc, is how it went down. Jen, if you are reading this, please complete the last line.