Marc, Don't Read This

This is truly a show about nothing. Well, not really nothing, a bath plug. Yes, a bath plug. You see, if you know Marc and I then you would know we (me really) are kind of scatterbrained. It's true. It's not nice I clumped him in there with me. He's only forgetful when he hasn't really listened. That's normal. I am forgetful....a lot. I lose things. I forget appointments, I'll miss a bill here and there (sorry honey). I simply can't help it. My brother, the magazine researcher (is that what you do Mark?) diagnosed me with ADD. At least it's an excuse. Usually my only recourse when called on my faulty actions is belligerence. I'm just not sure how else to react. I do find myself saying, "SORRY!" like a child. Thankfully Marc, my husband, is used to this, he has more patience than you can imagine and like I said previously, one of his special gifts is fixing things and making them right. Which works out perfectly dealing with me.
Here comes the bath plug part. So, we moved in this house a little over nine years ago. About nine years ago all the bath plugs in our house vanished. Right into thin air. Like socks in a dryer. One might think, "Hey, go to Home Depot, do yourself a solid, get some new bath plugs." Yeah, no. I can never seem to remember to do that. For a long long time we used this little pink cup out of Saige's baby bath toy stacking cups and it fit perfectly. So, see, no reason to make a special trip. We used that for years. Quite recently for some reason, that goes beyond me, the cleaning people took that little pink cup. I know it was them, the cup was here, they were here, the cup was gone. Even Mickey could do the math on that one. I don't know if they thought it was trash, I don't understand. I didn't know how to ask for it without sounding like a complete moron so I just ignored it was gone and took showers. Marc likes to take baths. He was upset. So I found this perfectly sized little face lotion container that blocked it. The only problem was getting it out, it was the exact height of the drain. So then I got these enormous rusty plier things and used them. Can you say white trash? Guess what? The cleaning people took that container too. Marc was furious. We think they're just screwin' with us. So being quite MacGuyverish he fashions a bath plug out of an old prescription container and tape. I'm not even kidding. It totally works. You're not going to believe this, last Friday rolls around, Jose and his wife who speaks no English, so I don't know her name are here and poof, that's gone too. Do you think they have missing bath plugs at home and just can't believe how clever we are? Or are they like, wtf are these things these idiots have all over the bathroom. Let's tidy up for them. Right in the trash can. So, I just went upstairs and saw a new one Marc made. It's making me a little nervous, cause today's Friday. I'm thinking of hitting Home Depot for Fathers Day. I hope he's not reading this.

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